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I think I gave my boyfriend GHSV1 and I feel absolutely terrible

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I was diagnosed with GHSV1 in May 2015. Since then, I've only had one other outbreak a couple of months later- September 2015. Other than that, NOTHING. I was with someone for a year, we almost always used condoms, and he never got it. Before that I was with someone else and he didn't get it either.


I started seeing someone new around 2 months ago. The disclosure talk went really real- but he didn't want to use condoms. I DID ask if we could, and he says never has (we tried- there were a lot of issues with fit that I wouldn't have believed if I hadn't witnessed it myself). He said he understood the risks and it wasn't a big deal to him. I got an IUD not long after that and went on antivirals almost immediately, and even my doctor said considering that I've hardly ever had outbreaks and it had been a while since I'd had my last one, the chances were very low.


Well, the other day he wakes up and there's a bump. I can hardly remember what mine looked like, but it looks comparable. And it hasn't gone away, and I think it's safe to say we both know what it is. I feel awful- I can't believe I was so dumb about not using condoms. I just really thought the odds were in our favor (I'm definitely not currently having an outbreak!) and I don't understand how it happened. I'm scared maybe the IUD weakened my immune system in some way/ made it more unstable. Either way, he's still been really nice to me about it, doesn't blame me, isn't angry with me, doesn't even seem all that upset. I've told him it's ALRIGHT to be upset- and he says he's "a little bummed" about it but it's not the end of the world to him. I just feel so terrible that I'm the one who did this and I'm really scared it's going to impact our relationship down the line- I'm having a hard time seeing how it can't.


So has this happened to anyone else? Has anyone else lived with the aftermath of this and it hasn't taken a terrible toll on their relationship? I also keep reiterating that I'm not upset because it's such a terrible thing to have (really- at the end of the day- who cares? It's a pesky skin condition)- but I still feel horrible that I'm the reason it happened to him. I could really use some words of wisdom.

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You shouldn't feel bad.. In my opinion you did all you could to try to prevent it. Your boyfriend was comfortable enough not to use protection after knowing the risk, so truthfully thats on him- don't beat yourself up. GHSV1 hasn't brought many issues to my relationship, in a way I feel it's making it stronger. Just make sure neither of you are angry, don't be spiteful trying to throw it in each others face and forgive. That includes forgiving yourself.

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