Fears

[Overcomer]

I have known I have HSV 2 for a while, but I just found out that I have HSV 1 as well. I got both from my last boyfriend so I have never had to make a disclosure to anyone yet. Before I even disclose to a new partner that I have HSV 2, should I not kiss him before disclosing I have HSV1? Btw, I have never had a cold sore.

 

Also, I have been reading some disclosure posts. Yes, herpes is not great, but is anyone worrried that a new partner could have some STD that is even worse and not telling you? I was wondering if anyone asks potential partners to get tested and see the results before you even disclose your condition? And I don't just mean them taking the standard STD tests, I also mean the HSV and Hepatitis tests and seeing in their medical histories if they have genital warts. I am so paranoid of getting another STD. Like I said, herpes sucks, but there are so many other more potentially harmful diseases that I am so fearful of dating again.

[JeffH]

So I'm also one of those super unlucky people who has both. Back in my pre hsv2 life (those were the days!) I would only bother disclosing hsv1 if oral were a possibility. My thought was that oral hsv1 is no issue because literally most people have it, and it may even be a good thing because it protects you from genital hsv1. Of course, id never kiss anyone in the rare times when I had a cold sore.

 

As for other stds, you have to remember that there is no male test for hpv, so that's not a possibility. I don't think it's weird to ask for the rest of them, because you're going to have to have some extremely honest conversations about your own background anyway. That said, you should disclose your condition BEFORE you ask for their tests, to initiate that honest process. At least that's my opinion, I've taken myself out of the dating game since my hsv2 diagnosis so I've never been in this position.

[Overcomer]

JeffH - Thank you for your comment. If you don't mind sharing, why did you take yourself out of the game?

[JeffH]

I'm really scared of passing it on. I don't mean to say that others should feel bad if they remain active. As long as you're open and you disclose, you're ok. But it's not something I'd be comfortable with. Part of it is that in your first couple years you are more likely to pass t and I'm also a male, meaning I'm twice as likely to pass it

[Overcomer]

I think that is admirable of you. However, don't give up hope! You and I aren't the only people in the world to have this condition. And like I mentioned before, there are far worse STDs out there. Good luck to you! :)

[Dave]

Disclosure...80% of the population has HSV1, 25% of the population has HSV2, 1 in 5 have HSV. There are 8 types of herpes, one causes chicken pox and shingles. Everyone has at least one type of herpes, more likely at least 3 types. Up to 90% of those with HSV don't know they have it, because they get little or no symptoms. Herpes really is a non issue. Ignorance has fueled an unwarranted stigma.