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Just got rejected and don't know what to do

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I found out I have HSV 2 almost a year ago. I was in a 2 year relationship at the time and when I disclosed to my then boyfriend he was cool about it and we continued on as if nothing had happened. He chose not to get tested and he has never had any signs or symptoms of HSV. Upon diagnosis I chose to take suppression therapy and have carried on. I have since ended that relationship. I have been hesitant to get back out there and date again since I have no experience disclosing other than with my then boyfriend and I am not sure how other guys will react. However, I did meet someone great! We hit it off, had lots in common, had lots of fun and had an amazing physical chemistry. Over the course of a month we went out seven times. We started to get intimate and it was apparent to me that we were getting close to having sex. Basically done everything but take our pants off. I felt at the time I needed to disclose that I have HSV. So I did so in a casual conversation. I told him what we would need to do ie: use condoms and I would continue the anti-virals. I told him of the very small risk of transmission. He had questions and I answered them. Encouraged him to do his own research. He seemed ok with it. However his behavior started to change after that. Not contacting me as much and being less flirty. We went out two more times after that. About a week later he told me that he had thought a lot about it and basically couldn't wrap his mind around it. He was concerned about the "passion" aspect. I told him it was obvious we had passion but that didn't seem to persuade him. He was concerned about oral sex. I'm pretty sure he isn't testing all the women he has had oral sex with and he told me he himself has never been tested for STDs. I am very devastated over the loss of this budding relationship. Perhaps I should have waited longer to disclose but I wanted to be honest. I don't understand why he couldn't get past it and continue the relationship and see how things went. This was my first attempt to get out there and date since testing positive and I got rejected. I feel terrible. I like him a lot and wish he would change his mind. We are both in our 40s and mature adults. Any advice?? Thanks!

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As guy who has been recently exposed to a partner who had hsv 2 and is on meds, I honestly would have probably reacted the same way he did. But now having this experience and doing my own research and asking questions here, it just comes down to the stigma and ignorance on his part over the disease. I'm not sure if I have it yet since it's been very recently that I was exposed. Just keep looking and maybe someone better will come along. Sounds cliche, I know, but unless he does the research and talks to you about this disease, he probably won't change his mind.

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Thanks Smalltown guy for your comment. I sent him stats and even encouraged him to do his own research. I don't if he did. Herpes is very common and many people don't even know they have it. For most it causes no problems except for when it comes to dating that is. I certainly didnt know that i had been exposed so either the guy didnt know he had it or lied. Just disappointing because he liked me a lot and i liked him. Glad you are getting educated! Shows how mature you are.

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  • 1 month later...

Update: so we have contacted via text and one phone. His texts usually occured every couple of days

Last week we started talking and we went on two dates. They went well. After our last night he would respond breifly to messages and now is isnt contacring me all. What is going on? Havet heard from him since

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Sounds like he's struggling, and backed away....he may be back, I know you like him, but he may need more time to absorb this, and may not want to continue....these are struggles we face unfortunately thanks to the stigma surrounding h...honestly, if I had the option of not coming in contact with myself, I wouldn't, so I don't blame anyone for saying no. Even if I loved, I know I'd struggle.

There are a couple of people on here that date, and are very successful, not only finding their true love, but also just having casual sex.

When one door closes, another one will open.

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