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Did he know before?

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My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple months now and I found out I had hsv 2 two weeks ago and I assumed I got it from my ex who had slept with so many people before and we last had sex three months ago. My boyfriend has been suppprtive and saying he wants to stay with me no matter what, he's going to get tested this week because his ex cheated on him a lot so either I got it from him or my ex we just don't know yet. But, he just moved back into his grandparents while his house gets remodeled and when I went the the bathroom there I saw a tube of accyclovir 5% ointment and I'm freaking out. All his stuff is in that bathroom but I never asked if there is another bathroom there or if they all share it so it doesn't mean it's his for sure I was too scared to ask. I really don't think he'd lie and I googled it and it says the ointment is for genital herpes and the cream is for cold sores but could it be his grandmas or brothers? Could the ointment be prescribed for oral herpes or just genital? I'm at a loss and I don't know how this could be a coincidence. I don't want him to think I was snooping, it was sitting on the counter face down and I just turned it over and saw what it was.

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I am in a somewhat similar situation.

I've been with my girlfriend for a couple of months and am GHSV 1 positive as of last week.

I am very conflicted about things, as my girlfriend tested high enough on the blood test the other day that she has probably been H+ for years. I don't know if she knew and hid it, or if she genuinely didn't know.

I think I can understand some of the feelings and thoughts you have going on.

You should absolutely have a conversation with your boyfriend about it. Don't start off accusatory, but tell him how you feel. Tell him what you're afraid of. Ask for his reassurance. If he really didn't know that he is H+, he would be dealing with his own hardships and conflicting emotions, like if you had cheated or how you are H+ and he doesn't think he is.

It is entirely possible fir someone to have it and not know. Try to talk to him about it in a way that seeks mutual support in a really difficult situation.

That's what I did right away, and that's what I'm still doing.

It's not easy to contain my sadness and my anger. But it's worth the effort.


Good luck, and please reach out to the community by following up here, or in the "seeking support" thread if you need to talk to someone.


You can also send me a private message if you want to talk to someone in a similar place right now.

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