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Disclosed and waiting...

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I have genital HSV 1 (for ten years, very mild OBs every month or two) and I recently disclosed to a new partner I am seeing. I really like him, and felt I could trust him. The disclosure went well, in that he was respectful and said he would learn more about it and until then, wanted to keep seeing me.


I've found that in the past, when I've disclosed to my partners, they have either requested information from me, or found their own, and then decided to start a sexual relationship with me, provided we take precautions to protect them. In my current case, though, this person seems to have not really spent much time informing himself, and seems reluctant to really start. I've sent information and we have spoken in person many times, and he keeps saying things like, "I'll come around to it" or "I just don't want to get it". I'm starting to feel like he isn't doing his part to inform himself, and that our relationship might need to end over this.


I know people need time to learn about HSV on their own, but he is taking his sweet time and I'm left feeling resentful over how vulnerable and anxious I have been while I wait for him to decide. I've said as much to him, and he apologized for making me feel that way, but still hasn't really changed his behaviour. We have seen each other in person several times since the disclosure, with lots of opportunity for in-person discussion, but it doesn't go anywhere.


Does anyone have advice? I am dying of anxiety over all of this.




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I say bring it up again the next time you see him. Ask him if he’s done his research and his thoughts on it. If he doesn’t want to talk about it tell him how you feel. You shouldn’t have to be left in limbo while he takes his time in researching and discussing with you. Just my opinion. Hope it turns out in your favor.

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Truthfully, its sounds like hes just not That into you if you know what I mean. The H is an 'excuse'. If someone is that into you, they would be on it! haha.


Try talking again, if a no go you need to decide to walk away or stay in limbo. Personally Id say man up or Im walking. You've already given the time to process...

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