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How long will this last??

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To start off I’m still in shock that I have contracted gentian herpes, some days it’s better than others where I’m trying to think positive and other days I can’t seem to hold myself together and thinking that no guy will ever want me now. I’m 22 and feel like this is it for me who is going to think I’m worth the risk of getting a permanent viruse, on top of that I feel like my first outbreak is never going to end I’ve been taking medication and putting the lotion the doctors says to put on it and feel no different, I can’t imagine going through this again again everytime i get an outbreak?? I’m also terrified to tell anyone and what they will say or think! I know everyone keeps telling me it’s no big deal but it feels likes such a big deal to me!

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I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I know exactly how you feel. I was so afraid that no one would want to be with me after getting this. I’m 21 so I know how sad it is to think that this is it, and no one is going to want to put them self at risk. I’ve found that people aren’t as judgemental as we think they’re going to be. I haven’t had to disclose to a partner yet, but I have told a few friends and family members. They don’t look at me any differently and it can really happen to anyone. It’s so common and most people who have HSV are completely unaware they have it. I know it might be hard to believe right now but the right person will be able to look this past this. The reality is that the chance of transmission is so small (with condoms and antivirals) that there’s a greater chance of dying in a car accident than there is of you passing this on. I’m sorry you’re having a bad outbreak. Mine was awful too but it will go away soon and recurrent outbreaks aren’t nearly as bad, some people never even have another one. I promise it gets better. I’ve had this for 4 months and I hardly even think about it anymore.

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It can feel so scary at first. The more you learn about it the more you'll realize it's really not a big deal. Watch Ella Dawson's Ted Talk or read her article "Why I Like Telling People I Have Herpes." I know how scary it can feel. I was devastated but I can honestly say that I don't really care anymore. I am only two months in and am anticipating a second outbreak but I know subsequent outbreaks will never be as hard (psychologically or physically) as my primary one.


From perusing this site it would appear most people don't care much about HSV when someone discloses.

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Thank you guys for commenting back, it really helps trying to figure all this out! I’m really glad I found this site it’s helped to answer a lot of my questions. How did you guys disclose to your significant others? I’ve been dating this guy before I found out about H and he is amazing!! But I’m terrified to tell him, and that he will want to end things!

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I have been with the same person for 15 years so when I noticed symptoms I ignored them and assumed the sore was caused by my husband's whiskers. When I checked on the healing of the spot a few days later I noticed blisters next to the initial sore and was utterly shocked! I had no idea most herpes cases are asymptomatic so I worried I caught it from a toilet seat or that my husband cheated. We have a solid relationship and I've never worried about infidelity before but given the circumstances I had to ask. He of course did not cheat. So we started researching herpes and it turns out many couples have been in our situation. I got my IgG tested, which was negative. So the assumption is that my husband is an asymptomatic carrier of HSV 1 or 2 and it took 15 years for me to get it. We've had lots of oral and vaginal sex and have never once used a condom in our entire relationship. Neither one of us have much of a sexual history, I've been with two people total, him a handful more. While all this was happening he remembered once having a sore inside his mouth as a kid but never again, so maybe that was a cold sore, who knows. We haven't pursued further testing because neither of us really care. Maybe at my next annual I'll ask for another IgG test. Honestly the only impact herpes has had on our relationship is that it's brought us closer together.

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