Failed to disclose, now I feel stuck.

[Mil21]

No judgement please. I was diagnosed last month with hsv2. My ex got it while he was having an affair and gave it to me. The person I was seeing at the time was perfectly fine with it, so that first and only disclosure thus far went smoothly. I ended up ending things with him because I was not 100% into it and felt guilty about possible transmission to him if it wasn’t a long term thing (he never wanted to use condoms). I went out on the weekend and ended up going home with someone. We had both been drinking pretty heavily and it honestly didn’t cross my mind until the next day that I never disclosed to him. We did use protection. Fast forward to a few days later and we were out drinking again and one thing lead to another and we ended up sleeping together twice in the same night. Both times with protection. I know it’s so, so horrible of me not to disclose but I’m really struggling with it and now I feel like I can never tell him because I didn’t give him the option to choose. Help meeeeee.

[Sunset]

Suck it up and tell him. You know you'd expect the same. The best lessons in life are learning from and correcting the mistakes we've made. When all is said and done, you'll be free to move on as until you fess up, it will eat you alive.

Just my take based on my experience(s)

[Trixie8]

Oh, I've screwed the pooch on a similar situation SUPER HARD before. Sometimes it's like you can pretend its not a thing either if you don't say it out loud. You feel sexy and like a different person if its not in the space. Tell him. Lead with the statistics. I have a screenshot of the H opportunity pie chart that I share with partners. It's funny and compares dying in a car accident to the chance of him getting it. It never gets easier, but you get better at it. Be vulnerable, putting on a tough face like its no big deal to ease the care is an option, but if he likes you, and you like him, try to make it clear this conversation is really difficult to have, and you are sorry, but we all make mistakes. You aren't perfect. And you don't need to be. Good luck with this!

[Mil21]

I finally disclosed. I forgave myself first and then explained everything including stats and information on it and how important it is to have the conversation of sexual health. He admitted to not having been tested in over a year and having unprotected sex with two other people since. I think it also put it into perspective for him that I mentioned how willing he was to get down with me without protection when he had no idea what I had and pushing protection was my idea. He said he respected me being blunt and honest because it is a topic that should be talked about and he trusts me and my knowledge about it, and that regardless of the situation we will figure it out. So all in all successful post multiple sexual encounter disclosure lol

[Sunset]

Mil21 - you are a true goddess Rockstar. I have goosebumps reading your follow up.

So damn proud of you! And what a cool dude..... look forward to updates. You made my day girl :)

[RegularGuy]

@Mil21

Really glad that you did decide to disclose and then followed up here!

Congratulations on having the courage!