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Disclosed two days ago, waiting for follow up

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Hey everyone:)


It's been great reading so many relatable feelings and stories.


I just disclosed to the boy I have been seeing for about 4 months that I have HSV 1 genitally. We haven't gotten physical yet, but Friday seemed close, so I knew I had to have the discussion. He took it as well as expected. He said it was something he would have to process and think over, and if i it didn't work, he still wanted to remain friends and I could use him as confidant. But he wasn't sure of anything at the moment. As nice as it was for him to say that, I can let help but feel like this stupid virus will get the best of our relationship.


He is continuing to text and check in pretty frequently throughout the day, but there has been no attempt for future hang out plans. I'm going to give it a few more day before I check in from that convo.


Is it normal for it to be avoided?


How long have you waited for your partner to make a decision?


With him still contacting regularly, I see that as a positive. But I totally get why he wouldn't want to continue. I'm preparing for the worst, but hoping that he'll choose to stay.





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HSV is so common, especially HSV1. If someone has it, the norm is for them not to have noticeable symptoms. So he can contemplate it all he wants but statistically speaking he probably already has it. And if he doesn't, he likely will be with someone soon enough who does. The only difference between you and everyone else who has it is that you know and they don't. I hope he doesn't think too much of this. Seeiously, it's only herpes, people. Good luck!

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Not to deminish the situation you are in, but the bottom line I get is that you haven't been intimate with him and your relationship isn't a committed one. While I could be wrong on those points.


If you have not been intimate and there have been no agreements to be exclusive, you really don't have to wait at all.

If you get tired of being in emotional limbo, just step out of it. It might take some courage, but it is that easy.

I never recommend handing someone an ultimatum, but it is fair to tell them how you feel, why you feel it and what you are doing about it.

"I feel like you have put me on the sideline after I disclosed. I think I can understand you might have some things to think about, and it doesn't make you a bad person."


Some people take a long time to make decisions about things. Some people ignore problems and hope they go away. Some people get put on the spot and can't get their head together for a while. Still others have a hard time letting someone down, and just don't know what to say.


You seem to really like this person, so give him as much or as little time as you think is right. Just remember that your time is valuable just as much as his or anyone else's.

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