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Disclosing by text

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So I'm getting back into online dating after I broke up with my ex of over 3 years and I'm just looking for casual things at this stage. I've never had the disclosure talk with anyone before (I haven't even told any of my friends honestly as I don't think they need to know) but I was thinking of how I might do it over text as I often discuss intimacy with people before meeting them.

I've written a draft message and was wondering if anyone would be happy to read and make any suggestions!


'At this stage I feel that there is something I should mention in case it changes anything. I carry the genital hsv1 virus. I've not had any symptoms for well over a year and it doesn't really affect my life but there is a very small risk that I could pass it on even without any symptoms. From what I've read it's about a 1-2% risk, about the same as the failure risk of my contraceptive pill to put it into perspective. It's a very common virus and I know that a lot of people have it and never even know but I feel that as I do know, I should mention it out of respect. If you have any questions please ask and I'll do my best to answer.'



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Hi! I also have decided not to tell friends or family- you’re right, they don’t need to know. I personally would not mention it until after meeting someone, as you might meet them and realize you can’t stand them for whatever reason. I’d only reveal it to someone I was sure I wanted to move forward with, but that’s just me. Texting the info is fine, and I agree with @Katidid, your message is perfect! I would also point out that 50-80% of people already have this virus orally. So many people don’t realize this. Ok, wishing you the best of luck!

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Thank you for your responses!

@Trying2Accept that's a good point, I forgot the numbers so just said lots but the numbers kinda make it sounds better really! I've always found it so odd that there is no real stigma attached to getting the odd cold sore but genital hsv is barely even whispered about!

@Katidid I plan on taking them ASAP so I just kind of presumed I would be and so quoted the risk taking that into account... Do you think I need to explicitly say I'm on antivirals?



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