How to stop obsessing?

[lovinglife]

It's been about a month since my diagnosis and most days it's all I can think about. I keep obsessing about it and my mind is just stuck in this negative loop, and every time I try to move on and distract myself by doing or thinking about something else, it just comes back, and every time I think I've gotten to a place where I might be able to feel ok with it, the grief and devastation return.

 

How do you turn off this endless loop? How do you stop thinking about it at every turn? How does everything you encounter stop being a reminder (especially when experiencing ongoing itching/tingling)?

 

I feel like the mental burden of this is already starting to ruin my life, and it's only been a month. I've been trying to read and watch all the positive content out there, but nothing seems to work. I just feel like my life is fucking destroyed.

 

I know I made my username "lovinglife" haha but really that was just to try to convince myself of something I'm really not feeling right now. In reality it feels like life could not be much worse.

[ihaveittoo]

As a 31 year veteran now I think its safe to say most everyone goes thru a period of obsession. I know I did. One of the biggest things that helped me get passed it was finding a local support group. Meeting others in the same boat really helped. You've already taken a step in that direction by finding this forum. Many who have gone before you have shared their stories here. Read as many as you can, you will probably be able to identify with many.

[RegularGuy]

It's a really good thing that you have the self-awareness to recognize when you are experiencing an obsessive state of mind.

However frustrating and depressing it is to go through, recognizing there is an issue is a very important first step toward getting relief and peace of mind back.

 

I think the trick is not to try to fool yourself. Generally, I avoid lying to myself just to feel better because it is essentially building a fragile house of cards around something that can really bring you down.

 

I may likely be a very different kind of person, but here is my advice if it might help:

Don't lie to yourself.

The stark, bitter reality of circumstances are what they are.

But also, don't be fooled by the instinctive part of your mind that speaks doom for every situation.

You get to choose the actions that you take and which ones you don't. You get to decide how you meet each new day, and each new moment. Even simple things can be handled in a way that leaves you feeling positive about who you are and where you are going.

And that is key.

Try to think about where you want to be, how you want your life to go, and do what you can to get yourself there.

And consider finding something exciting to treat yourself too. That savings that you stashed away for a rainy day is very appropriate for this situation. Maybe don't spend everything you have, but a little extra on going somewhere or doing something special might be the kick in the pants you need to feel excitement about something and come away with a new set of happy memories.

It doesn't have to be a month in Singapore, either.

Go to a concert with a close friend or relative and sing out loud while people glare at you (that's what I did, haha!)

Or bring that friend to a wine tasting, art festival, arcade, anything exciting enough to pull you out of your own head for a while and let you lay down some of the burden you've been carrying.

Then remember that feeling.

Know that you'll get to feel that a million times in the future.

 

There are so many good things waiting to happen for you just as soon as you decide to seek them out. It's a shame to leave yourself locked up inside your own negative thoughts.

 

But you are handling things pretty well because you are aware of what's happening and you reached out for help.

Just keep in mind that recovery won't be constant Improvement where each day is better than the last. It'll be a general trend toward normalcy.

 

So make a plan to do a special thing with someone you like being around. Make that plan right away and do that thing soon!