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Iam in bad pain and not sure if its herpes

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i totally ruined my life. I am in a monogamous relationship and we did plan on getting married.

I wanted to have some last fun time and went seing a prostitute (iam male).


2 days after the incident my penis tip started burning. I confessed to my girlfriend in order to not give her a desease.


So this is pretty much the timeline:


Had protected sex with prostitute (but 10 seconds of unprotected passive oral sex)

2 days later penis tip started burning

1 week later went to urologist. Got tested for chlamydia and gonorroe and one a second visit for ureaplasm etc. All negative. Got 10 days of doxy.

Didnt help at all.


Saw something like a sore or not sure what it was. Showed to urologist. He said it wasnt a std.

Went to dermatologist: he said it wasnt an std. Sent skin sample to laboratory -> came back negative for siphilis.

Aparrantly was an simple birthmark regarding to laboratory. Called dermatologist and asked if that could ve been

an herpes sore and he just laughed and said it wasnt.


Penis tip still hurting after 10 days of docy. Couldnt take pain anymore. Went to urologist hospital. Got a antibiotics one shot. DId help with the penis burn. But i recognized my balls were inflammed and burning. Also my anus started itching.


Went to a dermatologist hospital. 3 doctors and one upper doctor checked me out. I asked if this could be herpes.

They said it wasnt and they cant see anything unnormal. Its more likeley an exzema. Got a cortison creme which didnt help.


Now 4 weeks after this stupid idiotic incident my balls are still inflammed and hurt, anus still itchy. I got muscle spams in both legs and arms. No problems with urinating or ejaculation. No blisters or sores to be found.


I eat pinneapple and cocosnut oil just in case its herpes and to get some relief. I also skip any industrial sugar. So far

no betterment. Couldnt sleep at all last night.


Pretty much feels like i ruined my life.


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You told her the truth about the situation, which is what matters out of everything you detailed.

That took courage and demonstrates your ability to prioritize someone else's health and well-being over your own temporary comfort. That's a really big deal.

It's obviously a tough situation, and you understand your own accountability. That's also profound.

You can only let her decisions be her own, but you can decide who you will be from now on.


Just because you screwed up and sabotaged your own happiness once doesn't mean you should keep doing it. You deserve to be able to move forward from this moment and start implementing the introspective qualities you're experincing. Don't wait. Don't search for attonement in one single act.

Decide who you will be by deciding what it is you want, what you need. You do still deserve those things, whether you believe it right now or not.

There is courage, strength and honesty in you. Suspended in heavy clouds of rationalization and self-defeatism. Despite how you feel about your actions and yourself as a person right now, you demonstrated that you are capable of doing right. Both for the people you care about and for yourself. Don't ignore that part of yourself, it clearly exsists, and there are still many people who will be rewarded for seeing those things in you as well. You will overcome and steer yourself toward that ideal image of yourself.

But you'll have to work at it every day.


Despite feelings of shame and regret, you can see good qualities in yourself if you choose to.

Give yourself permission to see those things, remind yourself of them often.

Let her decide to go on, or help her to cope if she asks, but don't let this drag on for longer than it has to.

Move forward. Decide who you want to be, lessons learned included. Convince yourself you deserve to be that person, and make the changes, perform the actions, and do it every moment of each day.


Your actions and your decisions are powerful. Powerful to those closest to you, and powerful to yourself especially. Use that power to become who you deserve to be:

A courageous, trustworthy, desireable, strong person, worthy of affection and admiration. Especially your own.

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Thank you for your reply. It is uplifting to read that. I wanna change and be the best boyfriend/husband/friend/son that i can be. You have a very strong wording.


Iam mainly focused on finding the issue of my pain and killing it.

Today i was at a urologist who examed my Prostata. I will get results tomorrow.

He told me i should get Herpes out of my mind because Herpes is never causing issues for so long and he thinks my symptoms are mainly because of anxiety.


I want to believe him but i masturbated and had (and still have) severe pain in the tip of my penis. My balls are burning like they were sunburned. Are these signs of Herpes?

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  • 9 months later...

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