The Feeling is Coming Back

[DoHope35]

Sometimes I don’t know how to feel. Sometimes I am happy and I feel alright but then when I get home by myself the feeling comes back. I’ve been diagnosed with HSV 1 & 2 since February and since then I have had 3 outbreaks. I don’t know if this is enough to classify as doing suppressive therapy but I am just over this whole thing. I am just really down, and I really don’t know what to even say or write. I am official done with my old boyfriend as everything that goes wrong with him or anytime we get in an argument me having HSV is the first thing bought up.  He even told me that no man would want me or put up with me because I have herpes. That crushed me, and I never want to talk to anyone again because he really said negative things about me. He makes me wonder if he would spread my business on social media or what could possibly happen. I’m so scared to disclose for that reason. I just don’t know what to do. 

[CatMom]

First thing you need to do is take a deep breathe and realize that everything will be okay. I have recently been diagnosed (last Wednesday) and have come to terms. Don’t listen to your ex because you are will find a man who loves you. Herpes or not. If he spreads your business then that’s his karma. I know it will be very hurtful if he does but if anyone has anything to say just hit them with the facts. I’ve done some pretty extensive research this past week and realized that there’s nothing to be ashamed of having this. You will be alright and if you need someone to talk to, I’m more than happy to help in anyway I can. 

[DoHope35]

@CatMom. Thank you. I am so appreciative of you. I will make sure to definitely reach out to you. Like right now at this moment I am okay but I know that feeling will come back again but I’m trying to just continue to educate myself and take my life a day at a time without stressing. 

[Gina99]

Girlllll, 

I’m a newbie here too but I can tell you this: I see herpes as something that’s gonna make be healthier, more selective of people I decide to date, and more confident! 

The way you view this infection is really all about self love and self esteem. If people find out about it, it’ll be hard because of they huge ingorace regarding this subject. But seriously, the people that know you and love you won’t think different of you.... and those are the only people that matter right?

dont beat yourself up for this... it’s such a big dea for others just because it’s on our gentials... if you had herpes on your eyes or mouth no one would give a crap. So ... f*ck them.

this is the time for you to nurture yourself and get to know yourself and your outbreaks. You will get through this just as we all are! 

Hang in there 🙂

[DoHope35]

Thanks @Gina99. It is really about self love and self esteem and I definitely do love myself. I’m actually a really good catch! I think the bigger thing is if I do get serious with someone having to disclose this to them and I don’t want to! But it wouldn’t be fair to them because I sure wish the person I got it from told me. 

[Gina99]

@DoHope35

yesss disclosing is very important. No one should impose something on anyone else. When you really care about someone, you’ll respect their choice and you know you’ll be juste fine without them as well. I guess it’s about practice... in love there always a risk of rejection... with or without herpes!! 

I’d really take things slow with a new person and get to know them super well and show your true self. If after that you disclose and they choose to leave, fair enough, you’re better off!

[DoHope35]

@Gina99 you’re right. I would never not let a person know. I would never forgive myself of that. Once I really come to terms with it then I can move to the next step... love & if course for it to find me instead of me searching for it. I’m going to take it slow and focus on what matters right now.

[Dallyd]

I am an oldtimer in the herpes game, and, I can tell you, it definitely gets easier.  I even put my status right in my dating profiles now...it WILL get easier, but, be as honest as your fear will let you be...(cause, really, the fear of rejection is the real thing we are trying to avoid). I have fumbled, denied, and, flat out hated my status as a person  with herpes.  I've done some shady things due to not knowing how to handle it.  The most important person you need to be accountable to is yourself.  If you can look yourself in the mirror, and still like the person you see, then you are on the right track.

20 hours ago, DoHope35 said:

Sometimes I don’t know how to feel. Sometimes I am happy and I feel alright but then when I get home by myself the feeling comes back. I’ve been diagnosed with HSV 1 & 2 since February and since then I have had 3 outbreaks. I don’t know if this is enough to classify as doing suppressive therapy but I am just over this whole thing. I am just really down, and I really don’t know what to even say or write. I am official done with my old boyfriend as everything that goes wrong with him or anytime we get in an argument me having HSV is the first thing bought up.  He even told me that no man would want me or put up with me because I have herpes. That crushed me, and I never want to talk to anyone again because he really said negative things about me. He makes me wonder if he would spread my business on social media or what could possibly happen. I’m so scared to disclose for that reason. I just don’t know what to do. 

as honest as

[DoHope35]

Thanks @Dallyd. I can admit that it is the fear of rejection because it took awhile to just get to the level of self-esteem that I have now. Having to say “xxxx, I have herpes” is just an added level of rejection to lower my self-esteem. I can say that I can look in the mirror and still like the person I see, I just don’t know how to properly deliver the message. 

[Jpara002]

Hello everyone I am a newbie here. Was diagnosed with herpes 2 weeks ago. I feel horrible, ashamed and scared. My outbreak has lasted a month now. It was super painful. Makes me feel better that I’m not alone and I can come here to talk and let my feelings out. I wish the guy who passed this to me would have said something you know but he didnt but thinking about this doesn’t make it any better. Now I think I just have to be mature enough and take it one day at a time. I should’ve have done this or that  thoughts are in the past and will not change a thing. I just need to learn to move forward and live with this. I am so new to this taking my meds and hoping I’ll heal soon. If anyone needs to talk I’m here too. I am a roller coaster now with my feelings and I need lots of support. Thanks for reading this I really appreciate it.!