Just told my partner!

[Younggun21]

I was just diagnosed with herpes on Friday and I have since told my partner and he was completely accepting and didn’t mind at all. Although he did state that he still refused to wear a condom. Due to some other circumstances I don’t know that I will be able to see him anymore. I’m so upset because he was so open and accepting of me and HSV. I just don’t know what I’m going to do.

Also- how dangerous is it to not wear a condom if only one partner knowingly has HSV? 

Thanks a million! 

[Layns810]

@Younggun21 Are you going to start the repressive therapy? It seems reckless on his part not to wear a condom. When you say dangerous, do you mean in terms of passing hsv onto him? 

I don't want to give too many opinions since I'm not sure what input youre looking  for. ☺️ Are you wanting to get into the other issues as well or no? 

[Ishmael]

Not only did your partner not care, but his immediate reaction was to assert that he was going to still refuse to wear condoms? Look, it's none of my business, but that sets off some alarm bells to me. 

[Ishmael]

RE: Your question about transmission,

The chances of transmitting to a male are about 5% per year, provided you don't have sex during active outbreaks. If you wear condoms, you cut that in half. Take antivirals on top of that and you're basically down to 1% over a year of regular intercourse. What's "regular intercourse"? That's not clear, but the average American self-reports having sex just over once a week.

[Younggun21]

@Ishmael

His immediate reaction was it’s okay I know 1 in 5 people get it and I probably will get it sooner or later. We talked for a few minutes and then he proceeded to say that he still wasn’t going to wear a condom, which is what got us into this mess in the first place. I believe I got H from him. 

Also, thank you for the transmission info. I’ve lcoked at other things online, but it’s been hard to wrap my mind around everything that I’ve read in the last few days

[michiganlakegirl]

my ex did the same thing - he acted like he did not care (we had already been together for a year) and even came over that same day i was still having the outbreak to have sex with me with no condom to 'PROVE' his love for me.  well i was a fool - because i later learned that he knew he had it and gave it to me - he had already known and had it for 12 years!  but still would not disclose it until he was backed into a corner. Sounds like this might be the case with your bf also

[Ang44]

Sounds like he already has it and never told you.