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Strong chance I have herpes - afraid to take the test

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About 2 months back I started noticing these small bumps on my penis that I worried could be an STI so I told my most recent partner and she had similar bumps so we both went for tests. She lives in the USA and I’m from the UK, in her test they assumed genital herpes immediately (they took a swab, negative and a blood test, inconclusive). From her iGG blood test it showed a recent exposure and I’m the only person she’s been with since before Christmas. 

However my appointment went differently, I was told the bumps were molloscum, did a test for other STIs and everything was clear except in the UK they do not offer a blood test for herpes. I asked for their advice because she may have caught it from me but they told me not to worry if there are no symptoms and there’s no need for a blood test. But if her results come back positive for HSV-2 then I feel it is my responsibility to take a test. 

The problem is her next test isn’t until end of September so I’m planning to wait on her results and then pay for a private blood test but the wait is killing me. The idea of taking a test and seeing the results also scares me, and at least if I wait then her results will prepare me for what mine could be. 

The facts so far are as follows:

- In the past year I’ve had unprotected sex with 3 girls (one of which I think I gave herpes)

- Bumps on penis for the past two months, they keep spreading so have still not completely gone but diagnosed as molloscum.

- The edge of my lip can sometimes crack and leave a small sore that looks a little like a coldsore but unsure. 

- History of herpes in family with my dad getting cold sores and I’ve also been told recently he once passed genital herpes onto my mum 

- Recent partner has had spots around her lips recently but unsure if it’s herpes or not 

Not sure what my chances are but really hoping I haven’t got HSV-2 for her sake. Unsure whether to just take test now but I’m just thinking if she only comes out with HSV-1 then perhaps it isn’t worth a blood test given the facts? 

Any comments or support would be appreciated, in a really different situation at the moment and the worst part is that I know if she wasn’t living in the USA this would all be done and dusted now and I wouldn’t have to worry 😞 


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Hi There

Its frustrating coming on here, poring out your guts & no one responding, so here I am bro.

Reading through your post, I would think there's a good chance of you having HSV-1,
just based on the facts that your dad has it & must of kissed you many a time &
of course its very common anyway.

I do think its worth you still having a test as is HSV-2 really worse than HSV-1?
personally I don't think so, they can both be oral or genitally.
Its even possible you could have both of them.

I actually want to get tested myself as I'm not sure which one I have,
though I would guess its HSV-2

Good luck mate 🙂

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Had my first OB in February. It was something out of a nightmare. I was in tremendous pain, could hardly walk, and could not even use the bathroom. Like you I was afraid of getting tested not sure i could handle the results but i was in agonizing pain and end up in the ER. I was given a pelvic exam and pap smear meaning they swabbed my downstairs and was told they'd screen my for STIs/ STDs. At a follow up with my regular provider i was told I had a UTI (no suprise i wasn't drinking water i was terrified of using the bathroom) but i was told that my tests came back fine. Get this the ER doctors did not have me fully screened as i was lead to believe and left the sores out my paper work and only mentioned the uti. I've been getting a break out every single month since then and thinking i didn't have H. lol think again finally fed up i went to my doctors and had blood work done last week I'm HSV 2 +. Now i can get the treatment I need. i spent the past 8 months thinking i had some painful skin condition and it was really messing up my quality of life. Now i know whats wrong and can combat it and live a normal life again. Getting those results hit hard i cried in bed for three days but I'm happy I know and can get anti viral meds and adjust my diet and lifestyle.you have a community of people here who can help you through it and by knowing whats wrong you can help yourself. Get tested. Get well. Best of luck.

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@Amando Thanks for the advice, you’re right the chances are I do already have HSV-1 so it’s whether I have also caught HSV-2 in the past year and it carried it over. 

@sunnyinvert That sounds like a very traumatic experience and I don’t doubt my reaction to the diagnosis will be any different. I feel like I will really need support so I appreciate having the forum here. Thank you 

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