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Looking for guidance

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Recently I went into the doctors office for what I thought was just a routine screening. I knew to ask to be tested for hsv1/2 specifically or these test may not be performed. Just 2 years ago I tested negative for these (ironically just 3 months before I meet my boyfriend) and I am in a happy monogamous relationship. This year because I’ve always tested negative I didn’t think much about me being tested, I have always been fine. To my surprise I tested positive for hsv1. I spent my Monday in shock, Tuesday in confusion and the rest of the week in sadness. I had no idea how I would tell my boyfriend and cried at the thought of giving this to him. I knew I had to tell him, but I needed to get myself composed before I had the conversation. I talked to him about it and he reminded me that he gets cold sores. Then I remembered him talking about a sore on his lip before,  but it didn’t register that it was a cold sore or maybe I thought I would be fine as long as we don’t touch while he has a cold sore. We were wrong and I’m feeling pretty positive that I have gotten this from him. We shared paper work with each other and we are both hsv1 positive. I wanted to be upset with him, but I can’t because I know he was not trying to deceive me. I have not had an outbreak so I don’t even know for sure what area is affected. I’m unsure of what this means for our intimacy, we really do love each other and he is my best friend, I don’t want to feel like we can never kiss again. 

Does anyone have any insight on precautions we can take in our intimacy, especially considering I don’t know what area I am affected in? What can or can’t we do? 

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Hi Dreamer07

If you both have it orally, as my doctor told me you won't get it genitally, of course I don't know that is 100% fact
but what I have read seems to say that it is incredibly rare to have HSV-1 both orally & genitally.

So I think you can carry on enjoying each other in the most intimate ways

Enjoy the journey & good luck


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After reading a lot of stuff on here it does seem that some unfortunate people do seem to get it in both places
but what I have also read is that it is a fairly rare occurrence.

The fact that you both have it, means that your immune systems have built up some defence & in my humble opinion,
it is highly unlikely that you will affect each other in the opposite places.

If it is HSV-1 it is harder to pass genitally & an even lower chance from female to male, obviously refrain from contact when either of you have an OB.

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