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This will be long, but I need somewhere/ someone to vent to besides my mother.

I met a guy online back in June. I slept with him then and spent Oct 4th-9th with him. There was no one in between- at least on my part.

On the 9th I started getting uncomfortable down there but thought it was from too much action. I was super rundown that entire day then had really bad chills that night.

I went to work the next day and was freezing despite multiple layers, my lower back was killing me, and my lower belly was tender. I went to the Dr afterwards and I had a 102 temp. I was told I had a kidney infection. 

The next morning my temp was 104 so I went to the ER. They did the same tests but did the actual microscopic exam and my urine was totally clear. CT scan showed no stones, swelling, anything with my kidneys. That morning I had noticed what I thought were razor bumps, but thought they were just that so I didn't mention them.

Next day they were looking funny and I came across initial herpes outbreaks articles online. Oh here we go.

Went BACK to the Dr and she said they don't really look like herpes to her, but they could be. They weren't weepy so she said she couldn't swab them? She told me she did labs for Type 1&2 (IgM and IgG) though. 

The little "nick" I had- it got a lot worse. It was like the mother of all the other "things" on me. The sores all ulcerated, and my temp was between 101-104 for the past five days. Not to mention the bladder pain, body aches, weakness, etc. I have felt awful. On the upside, the Dr had me start Valtrex "just in case" and I think it's helping. The sores are looking a little less angry.

I know you can't "tell-tell", but does it sound likely I got this from this guy I was just with? I'm waiting on my blood work to come back to talk to him because I don't know if we'll speak again after. To make matters worse, I really like him but we decided a relationship is not right for us right now so we've dialed back talking. I miss him and now we have to talk about this.

If I have an old infection that just appeared it's going to be hard to tell him. If this is recent... Ugh. Either way, I'm not angry even if he knew he had it (in hindsight there are two things he's said/ done that lead me to believe he had seen sores on himself). I'm just really, really sad. I know it's super common, but I feel like this walking disease cesspool. 

How long did it take for any of you to feel like yourself again? Now that my fever's down and I feel a little better systemically, I can't stop crying about this. 

Sorry to be so long winded.


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I just found out myself. Similar story as well. I met a guy online and I contracted it from him. I’m so sorry 😐. I completely feel your pain. I went through a period of depression for a few days where I felt like I was hit in the head with a brick. It’s only been a week I think since I got the news. It’s already better. I’m grateful that I found this forum and seeing the stats online helped me understand that I’m not alone. I’m scared and feel like I’m always going to be alone. I was just rejected by someone today that I was starting to date. That was the first time I disclosed that I had it. God that hurt but, I wouldn’t dare do what he did to me to someone else. After a week, I feel more back to myself. I’m went through  all the stages of grief and finally came to acceptance with it. I’m grateful that it wasn’t worse. Thank goodness for that. I’m scared of being alone, yet I’m also scared of having sex again. I don’t know how to trust men again. I’m here for you. I really am. 

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I'm so sorry for your heartache. 💙Any kind of rejection is hard, but I'm sure this is much harder. I hope you feel better soon.

I'm trying to tell myself to relax because what's done is done, but it's so hard. 

I'm going through a divorce right now (it's amicable, thankfully) and had been with only him since 2010. Well, enter Tinder (yes, I know) and hello H 😑 It's like, FFS, really? I'm scared about sex again too. Right now it's the last thing I want, but I hope it's like having a baby. Evict the small human and think you'll never want sex again. Then you heal up and... But to have this talk... Damn.

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I can’t believe how this changes who we are. It changes out perspective on what it’s like and has left me more guarded on who I let close. That’s going to be the hardest part for me. I’m not sure how to date again. Im scared to have sex again. Im scared of spreading this and I’m also more afraid then ever of getting something else. I think I’m hiding in my house for a few years. It’s safe in my cave. 

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I'm going to tell him, for sure. I'm waiting on my blood work to come back just so I have all the info. I know I was negative for IgG tests for HSV1 and HSV2 the last time I was checked. I've been with someone else months ago and him. It's all been a blur 😕


I'm sorry you know what this is like ❤️

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