Update: no more morning nightmares

[Jasmine10]

Just wanted to express my gratitude for all those who reached out and gave some kind words of support after my heart and brain dump yesterday.  I felt better this morning! Mornings are the worst for me -   Ever since I found out I have been sleeping still relatively peacefully when I'm ASLEEP, but I wake up into a nightmare - as in I wake up from a blissful sleep and realize oh fuck, I just woke up into a nightmare I AM LIVING and the mental anguish terrorized me each morning so much so that I dreaded every morning.  I AM SO HAPPY TO REPORT I DID NOT FEEL LIKE I WOKE UP TO A NIGHTMARE TODAY!!!

The rest of the day was still one big depression battle, felt better at night when socializing but at some point I start to get sad again as I realize ALL These people do NOT have what I'm going through (so i think you know) but then I spent a good chunk of the night chatting with folks here and it's been surprisingly FUN!! haha so thank you everyone and esp to Adrial for creating this wonderful community.  So this is major progress from my mental breakdown yesterday when I hit rock bottom - to wake up to NO nightmare and to end the day actually feeling GRATITUDE 🙂 and HOPE. 

[Ishmael]

That's awesome! One thing to keep in mind is that there are ups and downs, so even when you feel like you are regressing a bit, which will happen, remember that that is part of the process and that your overall trend will be upwards! Just because you feel sad or anxious one day, doesn't mean you are back to square 1. It's a process. Feeling gratitude and hope for the first time after a long time is pretty amazing though, isn't it? Like rain when you're dying of thirst. Enjoy your journey Jasmine. 

 

[Jasmine10]

TT

18 hours ago, Ishmael said:

That's awesome! One thing to keep in mind is that there are ups and downs, so even when you feel like you are regressing a bit, which will happen, remember that that is part of the process and that your overall trend will be upwards! Just because you feel sad or anxious one day, doesn't mean you are back to square 1. It's a process. Feeling gratitude and hope for the first time after a long time is pretty amazing though, isn't it? Like rain when you're dying of thirst. Enjoy your journey Jasmine. 

 

Thanks so much @Ishmael!! i know progress is like that right? 2 steps forward 2 step back etc. As long as we are in an upward trend!! it DOES feel amazing. i looked around me and thought "WOW! Dark cloud LIFTED!" i thought id ALWAYS walk around with a dark cloud above my head! thank you, enjoy your journey too 

[Ishmael]

38 minutes ago, Jasmine10 said:

TT

Thanks so much @Ishmael!! i know progress is like that right? 2 steps forward 2 step back etc. As long as we are in an upward trend!! it DOES feel amazing. i looked around me and thought "WOW! Dark cloud LIFTED!" i thought id ALWAYS walk around with a dark cloud above my head! thank you, enjoy your journey too 

Thanks! One thing I'd suggest is when you're back to living your life and falling in love etc. take a moment to come back here and post about it. It could mean the world to someone who is in the throes of a new diagnosis to see how far you've come. It is great to see the difference between what we expect when we are first diagnosed and the lived reality of HSV. 🙂

[Jasmine10]

Good point @Ishmael! thank u!