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Who gave me herpes?

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Please help with my story. Who do you think I caught herpes from?

Guy 1 been together 5 years. In these 5 years I’ve never had sores down below herpes symptoms. I have sometimes been a little uncomfortable from thrush and after sex. Guy 1 once had to go to doctors because his penis swelled on one side and his lymph node was enlarged. He had no sores though. The doc said it was prob a bacterial infection and it cleared in a few days. Another time after sex straight away with in half hour his penis became sore in one spot and was red but we think this was due to sex with no foreplay. I have not had symptoms. 
Guy 2. I split from guy one for 3 weeks and had a one night stand with someone who’s sexual history I do not know. It was unprotected. 
I got back with guy 1. Before I got back with guy 1 the day before I had a awful outbreak which was 23 days after my one night stand with guy 2. I didn’t know it was an outbreak as thought just a cut from shaving. Started sleeping with guy 1 again with my sore 😞  after a week of having my sore I went and got tested and was positive for herpes :(. 
Guy 1 stayed with me. Then 9 weeks after I was diagnosed I said to guy 1 maybe you should get tested. He agreed. He hasn’t had any symptoms at all! He had a blood test and his index value was 8 after about 9.5 weeks. 
Now my question is did I get herpes from guy 1? Did he cheat on me in these 5 years And I was just unlucky to have my first outbreak during a split? (But why did I have no symptoms in 5 years together? Why hasn’t he had a outbreak of new infection? Was the swelling of his penis 3 years ago herpes?)
Did I catch herpes from guy 2 because I had my first outbreak 23 days after having unprotected sex with him and passed it onto guy 1 when back together when I was having a outbreak? 
Since my first outbreak I’ve had regular ones. 
Altho people say your first outbreak is within 2-10 days?? So is 23 days to late for a new infection? I say 23 but this is when I first noticed my sores. They say first outbreak can last 2-3 weeks. 
Please help I’m worried if it came from guy 1 he could have cheated? Altho I have no reason to believe that. Who did I catch herpes from guy 1 or guy 2?? Help 
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Hi Bonnie

I would say the chances are more likely that you got it from guy 2 but no one can truly know for sure.

Guy 1 could of had it from start anyway & if you have no cause to believe he cheated, then don't.

Enjoy the fact that you are  back with guy 1 with whom you have spent 5 years with before & it could of been you that
passed it to him because sleeping with someone while you have a sore is the most contagious time.
If guy 1 has been understanding & there is obviously a  connection between you as you have been together for along time before, then just cherish it!

Good luck, Move forward & enjoy your life 🙂


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Hi Bonnie

i had mine just over 30 days after exposure, you can have your first symptoms YEARS after catching it too so you just cannot be sure whether it’s guy 1 or 2.

but also that means even if it was guy 1 it doesn’t even mean he cheated as he could have had before you but just doesn’t have symptoms and like amando said, if you have no reason to think he did cheat im sure he didn’t...

sounds like he loves you so cherish it and don’t think of stuff like cheating when there are no signs 


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Hi Annabelle. Thank you. So do you know that it was defiantly the person 30 days before that infected you? 

Thats true I’m just worried the symptoms he had of swollen penis and the red cut was a symptom. 

So guy 1 could have had it before me and have no symptoms but I as I have symptoms do you not think I would have had symptoms in the 5 years and caught it in the five years with him? X

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When I say 2 weeks that could be 14 to 20 days as time flies 😃

Most of us guys have had a swollen sore penis before, so hard (no pun intended 😂) to just put that down to herpes.
Friction burns also can cause blemishes etc.

Just enjoy being with guy 1, if you are both happy with each other, that's all that matters 

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Guy 2. I never had herpes issues until i ended up with the guy im with now. He swears i gave him herpes, but i got an OB after a Brazilian wax & approx 4 weeks after our 1st unprotected sexual encounter. Then sometime after mine, he claim he had his “1st” outbreak. He refuses to get tested. But I’m blaming him even though my DR assumes based on my labs that I’ve been carrying it for atleast a year. 

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