Had the herpes talk

[Northoftheborder]

So I had posted a few days back that I was going to have the talk.... And I did do just that it went okay .... I could tell he was alittle off with it.... I still spent the night we cuddle for awhile ... But when I woke up in the morning I panicked ... And bolted with hardly a word and a peck on the cheek.... It was like my self confidence took a huge nose dive ...I thought I was ready to share this being my first time telling a non H person (I have told no one in the 3.5 yrs)...my panic was more about giving it to him ...so I believe rather be rejected down the road I did the rejecting....I can tell I need to work on myself alot more....I texted him later and apologized ... He said not worry!! I honestly don't know if I will ever be able to be intimate with him for fear I transmit this emotional baggage called herpes!!! :-(

[mr_hopp]

I'm proud of you for having the herpes talk. That took a lot of courage. Great, great job. It only gets better and better. And that's super aware to recognize that a lot of your panic was more about you than about him. See how a lot of this is in our imagination? And even the "worst case scenario" of passing on herpes DOESN'T actually transmit YOUR emotional baggage. It's a virus that tends to bring up emotional baggage that hasn't been processed within that person. You don't pass on the emotional baggage. Each person's baggage is their own. So don't take responsibility for other people's baggage. Handle your own and keep your partners as safe as possible, but don't be paranoid to the degree that you hold yourself back from being loved. That's not fair to yourself. You deserve love. You deserve connection. Notice how your own self-judgment is holding you back from that. That is one of the most powerful realizations you can have. Because that starts to switch you from a victim into empowered.

[Northoftheborder]

Thank Adrial

If this relationship doesn't go further .... I'm okay with it..... If there is anything I have learned by taking this risk is that I can see that my spirit still needs some work .... but on the flipside I am proud of myself for being honest and transparent with a guy that I find so awesome:-)

<3 u and many others offer genuine guidance and support for us who are still faint of heart with our condition:-)

[Judith]

HI,

 

you can be proud of yourself, you done the right thing but it wasnt the right time for you ( YET) but it will be at some point.wish you the best

[SunnyDays]

Good job Northoftheborder! :)

You should be proud you went through it- the hardest part is over. It will only become easier with time as you grow stronger.