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Distraught


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So two months ago I had my first outbreak after spending a night with someone I really thought I had deep feelings for. The following week I contacted him because I had noticed a "paper cut" on my labia and even though it was healing I felt another blister coming up lower and more on the outside of my genitals. I knew what it was right away and asked if he had ever been tested and what his history was. He didn't know anything about it but offered to pay for all my medical bills and treatment because I had recently lost my job and had no income or insurance. 

The doctor diagnosed it as h on sight but ordered a swab which confirmed hsv2. My partner was pretty upset as he was the obvious culprit but after his IGG came back negative the last I heard from him was "well we know it wasn't me it was probably your ex." I had not been with my ex in well over a month (maybe two) and the symptoms began days after sleeping with this guy.

I didn't have the blood test done for myself because I just had so many conflicting emotions at the time I wasn't even sure I wanted to know the results. 

But in the last couple of weeks I was having symptoms of BV (no bumps or lesions thank goodness) so I decided to request the test. My doctor was skeptical since I had already tested positive and the acyclovir has been working wonderfully. But I explained I wanted it for my own closure. So I got my results back today. After two months of exposure my index value for hsv 2 was .53. My doctor said that's well within normal range and it had to have been an acute infection.

I guess I was just perfectly content to blame myself these past couple of months and assume I had it for years without knowing it. I really idealized this person. I actually had ended my last relationship to be with him. It really hurt me the way things ended and now that it's come back up I feel really hurt all over again. 

I've never had trouble moving on from a relationship but this has taken a toll on my already fragile self esteem. I've always been regarded as being highly attractive and men are constantly asking me out. I have not had the desire to be intimate with anyone, let alone the courage to disclose this. I've done a lot of praying and soul searching and I thought I was in a better place but now I feel like I'm back at square one.

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I don't have hsv 2 but when I thought I had hsv2. I feel your pain.i wish they was a cure for this awful Virus. there's a lot of stigma associated with this. I think you need time to cry and let your feelings out. maybe you should go to therapy. maybe someone can help you handle this burden your facing. I had so much anxiety from thinking I had hsv2 I had to go to therapy.please think about talking to someone if you decide not to go to Therapy.i hope you the best Sarah.

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Thank you I was thinking about therapy earlier today. I just don't really feel like I have anyone else I can talk to about this. I tried reaching out to the person who gave it to me today but he shut down as soon as he found out why I was contacting him.

I don't think the swab test was a false positive. The blisters were very painful but they disappeared as soon as I started taking the acyclovir. So I think if it was a misdiagnosis the medicine would not have been effective. 

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I don't want to give you false hope but my sister was misdiagnosed. she took the swab test and the blood test and they both were positive. as it turned out she had hpv. so to confirm her diagnoisis  she was given 2 blood test in I think in 9 months and they were all negative. and the hpv she had was gone in 6 months. I told her the Lord had blessed her and had given her another chance.  she should stop sleeping with the men she had slept with.hopefully she will change. the same thing happened to her as she tried to contact the guy that gave her hpv he didn't want to talk to her either.i'm so sorry this is happening to you. I really wish there was cure for this awful disease like I said.i go to therapy because I was dealing with Anxiety and depression because I thought I had hsv2.it has really helped me.i am so glad I finally had the guts to get tested after being so scared for a year.also I appreciate Adrial (the administrator) for helping me.also have you thought about going on youtube and watching Adrials video's? they really helped me. i'm here if you need me.take care your friend Sarah.

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I will definitely have to check out that channel. I'm pretty new to these forums so I don't know who that is lol. How did she find out it was hpv? Is that not included in a regular STD panel? I had the full works done at my last visit and I was negative for everything except hsv1 which I've had for years like most people. Also I have PTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder. I spent years in counseling, taking meds and even a brief inpatient stint. I haven't had any of that in years and I felt like I was much more mentally stable until this happened. I do think God was trying to tell me something about the way I've been living. I appreciate the kind words and support 🙂

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when she was tested they told her it was hsv2 and hpv together. I think the test was screwed up some way. i'm not sure but I think you have to ask for a hpv test. she went to the E.R. because she was in so much pain. when she got to the E.R they swabbed her and gave her the blood test. and that's when they told her she had hsv2 and hpv.she was devasted. they gave her the herpes med she took it and it helped her. Adrial is the administrator that runs this Forum. he's a good guy.he talks about the herpes stigma. i'm here for you Sarah.

 

 

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