when to disclose that I have herpes?

[casper227]

can anyone tell me when dating, when do you disclose it to them. How long afterwards of meeting them. If you are getting close to them and liking them. first date to a month to 2 months. when is the time right. any advice thanks

[mr_hopp]

Hi Casper and welcome to the forums!

 

First, here's a video for you to check out on the herpes talk:

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-talk/

 

Second, have you downloaded these handouts and read the e-book on disclosure? They are great for getting all the facts straight for the herpes talk. :)

http://bit.ly/h-opp-diagnosis-handout

http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

Third, to answer your question specifically, the best gauge/barometer to know when to disclose is to check in with yourself. Ask yourself this question: "Do I trust this person with my vulnerability?" If you feel you can trust them and that they deserve your vulnerability, then it's time to have the herpes talk. If you don't feel you can trust them (at all or yet), then it's not time to have such a vulnerable conversation. Because that's what it's all about — vulnerability and connection. It's not about herpes; it's about gauging your connection with this other person. Do you want to have sex with someone that you don't have a certain kind of connection with? How you judge that they will receive your vulnerability says a lot about how you feel about who they are and how they will be with you in relationship beyond the herpes talk.

[prettycute77]

Wow, I never thought of it that way. Your right, it's definitely not about the herpes.

[casper227]

thank you will read up on the pages