Findingmyself

I found out and made the hardest phone call. I let the person know that gave it to me my results and asked him if he knew if he was ever exposed. At first he didn’t want to admit it. A few minutes into the call, he actually did come clean and tell me that he knew he got it 15 years ago. He didn’t tell me and by taking away my right to conscent I felt like I actually had something taken from me. I was very upset and there were days when I couldn’t even get out of bed. I cried. A lot. I went through the stages of grief within a week or so. Now I’m in acceptance and it’s just something that I’m learning to live with. This forum has brought me to this point for sure. I only told the person who gave it to me, my best friend (a nurse), and a guy that I was seeing who rejected me after. I’m trying to focus on getting well and being alone for awhile. I feel like it’s good for me to mentally recoup. Everything is going to be alright. We all are going to be alright.

Thank you for the email and the video. You have a beautiful family. It really gives me hope that someday I will also meet someone who understands, and will see me, not the virus that I carry. It’s been heavy since I have been diagnosed, everyday is a little easier. This forum has been an incredible rescource for me, and has really brought be out of the initial depression and into hope. I’m grateful for this community of others who can share their own experiences and advice. I just want to say thank you for creating this forum.

Today my boss at work were talking and she mentioned that she has hep C and has had it many decades. After she told me, she looked really sad. I almost told her about being diagnosed last week with HSV 1&2. I just couldn’t get myself to do it. It feel so personal and private. I wanted to disclose it to her just to make her feel better about sharing that with me, at the same time, I guess I thought it was just to personal to share. She said she Hep C from when she was a kid in a lake. I was confused, as we know it is blood bourn pathogen transferred through sexual contact or needle use. Why do I feel guilty that I couldn’t share that I also have a virus that is going to stay with me? I just couldn’t do it. Can anyone relate? It was awkward and now I don’t want her to think that I view her any differently. I have a secret myself but because of the sexual nature of it, I couldn’t tell her.

I just found out that I carry this virus like the rest of us on this site. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone that shares on here. It’s really helping me deal with how to get back to me.

That really made me smile. Thank you so much. It gives me hope.

I can’t believe how this changes who we are. It changes out perspective on what it’s like and has left me more guarded on who I let close. That’s going to be the hardest part for me. I’m not sure how to date again. Im scared to have sex again. Im scared of spreading this and I’m also more afraid then ever of getting something else. I think I’m hiding in my house for a few years. It’s safe in my cave.

Thank you for your kind words. It’s scary and has left me with an overwhelming state of emotions. It’s has also mad me feel more grateful in a way. I feel lucky that it’s not HIV or Hep C. It could of been something more serious. Just like me that everything changed. It really does just take 1 time. I’m going to keep hanging on to hope that someone somewhere out there is still the one for me and this won’t matter in the long run.

I’m sorry we all have this, but I’m grateful for your support though it. Thank goodness that we have this forum. This is a hard thing to accept. At least we aren’t alone. We have each other here. If herpes is so prevalent, why don’t they talk about it? HPV is so accepted and talked about now. Why is herpes so taboo?

I just found out myself. Similar story as well. I met a guy online and I contracted it from him. I’m so sorry 😐. I completely feel your pain. I went through a period of depression for a few days where I felt like I was hit in the head with a brick. It’s only been a week I think since I got the news. It’s already better. I’m grateful that I found this forum and seeing the stats online helped me understand that I’m not alone. I’m scared and feel like I’m always going to be alone. I was just rejected by someone today that I was starting to date. That was the first time I disclosed that I had it. God that hurt but, I wouldn’t dare do what he did to me to someone else. After a week, I feel more back to myself. I’m went through all the stages of grief and finally came to acceptance with it. I’m grateful that it wasn’t worse. Thank goodness for that. I’m scared of being alone, yet I’m also scared of having sex again. I don’t know how to trust men again. I’m here for you. I really am.

I just found out I have HSV1 and HSV2. HSV1 was through blood, the other was a blister that was cultured on a slide. I know I just got 2 from this person who used me on so many levels. I’m a single mom. I was alone for 3 years, and decided to try and put myself back out there. I tried a regular dating site and thought I met a great guy. The short version of this story is that I wasn’t the only one he was seeing from that site. I had unprotected sex with him and I thought I was pregnant. I felt cramping, headaches, heat flashes, and then the blister came out. This all happened like 4 days after sex with him. I thought I had an awful UTI because the burning was so bad. I went into an urgent care and they only tested me for pregnancy. Days later, another small cluster of blisters appeared. They hurt like hell. I followed up with my other doctor. She looked, did the slide and blood work and confirmed it is herpes. The phone call to him was awful. I called to tell him. Because I actually thought I was pregnant initially, he ran off, changed his phone number, and when I told him I would raise it by myself, he even threatened me with a lawyer. None of it made sense. I was hurt beyond belief. After telling him that I had it, he acted played like he didn’t know what it was and toward the end of the call, he finally came clean and said it was most likely that I did catch it from him. He confessed that he knew he was exposed for at least 15 years. I was ferious beyond belief because he gave me a virus that he knew he had. He is sleeping around with multiple women on dating web sites and I don’t think he’s telling any of them. I live on a small island by the way. He just moved out here. He bought a wedding business and is running around like he’s the bachelor. Now I feel like I’m always going to be alone. I was dating someone else and since I told him, he rejected me. He actually has a rare disease himself. He has someone called alph1 antitrypsyn disorder. It causes his lung to collapse and he can die from it. He is treating me like I need to be in a quarantine. Not disclosing this to someone is just wrong. I feel like part of me was taken. I don’t want to be alone. This all feels surreal.