Michgirl73
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Posts posted by Michgirl73
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59 minutes ago, herpnerve said:
I also wanted to say I have GHSVI (herpes 1, associated with cold sores, genitally). however, I would take the risk on someone with type 2 given that we use precaution because it isn’t as bad as it seems and the risk is low and it’s not too terrible physically.
Also, if you want to get back into the “playing field” woman that are single in the age group, 1 in 4 (white females) of 40-49 years of age have type 2, while 2/3 (black females) 40-49 and 30-39 have it. Age 30-39 it’s about 1 in 5 women (white). Sorry if that was confusing.
So odds are, if you do “catch” it and get back in the playing field to date, you’ll encounter women who also have it (granted I would recommend asking them to get tested before you disclose because they may assume they don’t have it when in reality they do).
It’s my understanding to that the blood test can be inaccurate too. That’s what I have read before in the past. What’s your take in that??
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7 hours ago, TopJimmy said:
I am getting tested next week to see if I have anything that I am not aware of. I know I am very fortunate that she disclosed to me so I could make my own educated choice. Knowing what you all know now, after living with the virus and obtaining it. Given the choice and the risks associated would you have taken the risk?
I would totally now that I know what I’m dealing with and we could take the appropriate steps to keep me from getting it. My chances are actually better doing it that way verses relying on someone to be honest with me and finding out they weren’t. It takes a lot of ppl with this virus to be honest.. if most ppl would have been honest from the get go we all would probably not be in the situation we are.
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1 hour ago, TopJimmy said:
Oh boy....I know the risk is low but that’s my fear that I would be one of the unlucky ones despite the stats. She told me she is on Valtrex and is well aware of when she feels something coming on and knows to obstain from sex during those period of time but it is my understanding that even outside of when she feels an out break coming on there is still a potential for someone to obtain the virus. I also know I don’t want to have sex with a condom on forever either. I feel bad for her because she is really cool but I know it would really stink.
Have you been tested yourself? A lot of ppl have this virus and don’t even know they have it. I would consider that, also unfortunately a lot ppl aren’t honest about having the virus which is why the majority of us are here, we didn’t get the option. Your chances of meeting someone again and having sex with them orally or intercourses your risk lie there as well. The more partners u have risk gets higher. You actually have a chance to take the precautions so u won’t become infected verses taking your chances on someone that might not be honest next time. Your call but really think about the big picture.. the risk still will be there with or without her with a potential next partner. Just saying.. good luck, be good to her and let her go easy this is already tough on some many of us and rejection is the worse.
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7 hours ago, Anonymous88 said:
I wouldn't say you were dumb at all,just no one educates you about it. I had no idea about it either and now I have it and having to deal with it on a daily basis as my outbreaks are constant and having to take 3 tablets each day at the exact time is now what I have to deal with daily so there just is no break from it.
Do you not live in the uk? Only reason I ask is they don't tell you exactly which one genitally it is whether it be hsv1 or hsv2 and just say well if its the waist down they just class it is hsv2. I heard apparently that if you have ghsv1 then your outbreaks arn't so bad which I wish that is what I had as mine are constant I am guessing mine is just hsv2. Tablets have helped the pain as I only deal with a burning sensation and itchiness with each new outbreak but it is the fact that it won't give me a break.
Like you have realised very little people talk about it where as I have been open to people I trust as I find talking about it really helps me to vent. I am just angry inside when I think back to the guy who knowingly transferred it to me as I never had the choice and that is so hard to deal with.
I got this over 4 months before I turned 30 so really my prime time of intimacy and a relationship is not gonna happen for as long as these outbreaks continue and that is also hard to deal with
I’m from the States.. I have Ghsv1 it’s been pretty manageable so far, I took myself off the medication because the side effects are horrible. Yes it sucks that my giver did the same and has no conscious for what he did sadly evil ppl exist.
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47 minutes ago, Anonymous88 said:
People are less bothered and less judgement about hsv1 on your lip because most adults got it when they were younger so in adult life it is rare to see many people with a cold sore and when they do its usually just one a year.
With hsv2 its different as it effects your sex life. Who wants to get with me for example who out of 10 months of someone knowing they had it and didn't tell me I have only had less than 2 months of not having a breakout so thats enough to ruin any intimacy in a relationship.
I tried yesterday signing up to a herpes dating site and it was horrible and made me feel shitty doing it as it made me feel like I am broken goods being pushed out from the rest of the world who can go on freely in and out of relationships with not having this. Most people never put a photo up as they were to embarressed including me and if not haviny an incurable std wasn't enough they then charge you to actually message people so I deleted it and will never bother going on it again.
I know what you mean, I have Ghsv1 and I figured that there would be more ppl with my same condition as there is more higher rate of Ghsv1 then Hsv2.. but there wasn’t harderly at all. Plus half the ppl on there don’t know what type they have, I find disturbing. Maybe they know and they are scared to say too. But by the time u get my age 90% of ppl that is 50 or older have contracted it. I was so dumb when it came to understanding herpes before I contracted it, I had no idea.
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20 minutes ago, Notgoingthere said:
So HSV-1 is actually harder and more rare then HSV-2... I use H-positive and positive singles, but they suck so much! It’s actually painful how much they suck. They also want a large amount of money per month to even message people.
It’s my understanding it’s the other way around Hsv1 is actually oral herpes but I got it gentially. It’s my understanding that 80% of the population has it verses .Hsv2 which normally your genial herpes.
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Hey everyone, I was wondering if anyone ever used herpes dating sites. Also if u have I noticed that Hsv1 .. there is not many singles listed with this and I was wondering if it’s because it’s so common. Does anyone else with Hsv1 notice this or Hsv2 because it seems like there are more of Hsv2 in there then anything, just wonder if anyone else noticed. Thanks for your time, looking for to any feedback.
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18 hours ago, Victory_in_Defeat said:
According to a site I read, it is possible to transfer the virus to another part of the body. However, it is unlikely. I've pasted the quote down below:
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Can you spread HSV to another part of your body?
Yes, that is called self-inoculation.
However, HSV is not as easily spread to another part of the body as it was initially contracted because your antibodies will provide some protection. The risk of self-inoculation is even further reduced if the first HSV infection is outside of the types’s site of preference (HSV1 orally and HSV2 genitally), because the virus reactivates and asymptomatically sheds less when it is outside of its site of preference.
Although there’s no way to discern who will asymptomatically shed the virus and when it will be shedding, shedding data appear to parallel recurrence data, meaning that people who have a lot of recurrences also have a lot of shedding.
"
This stuff so confusing, one site says one thing and another said another. Thanks
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I read on the internet that once you get your primary infection that the virus can’t travel to different locations of your body.. Is this true?? Some one told that they had theirs travel after get Ohsv1 they contracted Ghsv1.. can this happen??
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So sorry that u had to go through this!! Herpes suck!!😡
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Yes I still struggle with nerve pain on and off.. it sucks.
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28 minutes ago, Findingmyself said:
I have been reading so many stats on the internet about how common this virus is from ages 14-49. It’s much more common than I ever would of guessed. I can’t find info on how common it is on people after age 50. I just keep reading that it increases with age. I was diagnosed with both HSV 1&2 in Sept after briefly dating someone and he didn’t disclose it to me. Now, I’m scared of dating after reading the stats that there a 3x higher chance that I can now get HIV. I’m considering being alone for a really long time out of fear of rejection and a fear that the next person can give me something worse. Any advice or info on how many of us actually have this virus after age 50?
I read that after 50 that 90 percent of that age population has hsv1. I’m 45 an contracted ghsv1 almost 4 months ago from a partner that did the same to me.. I have struggled hating myself for believing that he would be honest then did this and now I’m left trying to figure out how to move on with this. I feel the same, dating seems so scary anymore, definitely don’t want to get anything else this was hardest thing I ever had to deal with and mostly alone.
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Nope mine was done on my cervix so I could see what it look like.
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6 hours ago, Uklad said:
Yes I contracted it through my ex girlfriend who caught it off her ex, I had known her years and trusted her went on a date too much drink was consumed. Started a relationship together then she told me two months later behind a duvet cover was embarrassed I was like god iv been lucky I’l have no issues only had unprotected sex once but she was my dream girl and I’d fell for her. Six months later she left me for ex. She married him last week ironic. Another six months after that I had minor symptoms went to my sex clinic four times told them the situation, said looks nothing like herpes. Went to three gp appointments still no diagnosis. Demanded urology appointment and was diagnosed on initial appointment. Diagnosis was bad enough but the six month of worry and shit healthcare services made me change into a different person. On the up now it’s a skin disease for me now that’s manageable I just pray that I meet someone who understood on disclosure like I did
Sounds like my ex he gave it to me after getting me back from dumping me previously. I was still in love with him in hopes he really truly wanted a relationship.. never told be in contracted herpes.. we had sex I got it 6 weeks later dumps me again went back to his ex who gave him it and know they are married.. smh. On top of dealing with getting Herpes my emotional well being took a tremendous toll and wish I would of never gave him a chance to know to deal with this alone wondering if I will ever find someone now .
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7 hours ago, Anonymous88 said:
Thanks Amando, glad to know I'm not the only one this has happened to and can understand why I feel so hurt. Just showed that I wasn't ready to be intimate as quickly as he was and I need to put my foot down.
I'm not gonna lie this has now put me off and am taking a step back from trying to date and realise I am probably better being on my own and not have any sort of love life. I really don't like all this having to disclose and wouldn't have any intimacy without being honest before hand so I just don't want to put myself out there anymore.
Being in my first year of having an incurable std makes me feel like I am a risk to anyone who hasn't got it or doesn't know they have it. The amount of outbreaks I have had since getting this from a guy who didn't disclose to me would be hard on a relationship anyway to be intimate as I can't be freely intimate in a relationship like I used to be.
Dating has been shit the past 5 years before being diagnosed with herpes but adding this on top is just way too much for me to have to deal with.
I agree dating was extremely hard for me before and now this.. makes it so hard not want to hide from the dating scene but all long to meet that special person. I’m sorry u are going through.
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I got a bacterial infection after I got diagnosed. I hear that it happens to a lot of woman after getting it. I was on suppressive therapy for 3 months I just stopped taking mine. I have Ghsv1 which is supposed to be milder one. Most ppl that have OHsv1 don’t even take medication most of the time and that’s where it’s supposed to be. Anyhow.. I’m on supplements currently.. which seems to be doing good. I have limited myself on drinking alcohol as it supposed to cause outbreaks. I’m looking into ozone therapy which helps keep your body immune system healthy to fight this thing. I had to wait 4 weeks before I had sex.. to make sure it was healed and even then I probably should of wait another 2 weeks. I don’t have issues with oral.. so I’m unsure about that. In my opinion all suppressive therapy takes a huge toll on your body.
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I got gential to gential hsv1 my ex had a small sore that wasn’t healed and he never told me he had hsv1 gential and I got it that way.
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I understand I’m struggling too! I feel like I’m destined to be alone as well. I hate it but all I can do is hope and pray that God has a better plan for me. Sending big Hugs and you are worth way more then that.. yes u have Herpes but that don’t make any worthy. Unfortunately bad things happen to good ppl and u will get through this. Just know most of us on here understand everything and we are struggling too! U have ppl that are here for u, message me anytime I’m here if u need to talk.
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It seems to be something different to me. If he slept with you and wasn’t worried about it before then all of sudden he changed his mind makes me think something else is going on. I know it’s hard and I feel your pain but u don’t need someone that is going to do that to you. He hasn’t real from the beginning if he was he wouldn’t of slept with you. I’m sorry your going through this but I deserve something better then that. Just saying.. keep chin up!
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I have started oil of oregano supplements I got that feel like they help a lot.. I also started colloidal silver that seems to be helping as well.. trying to clean the gut out with some probiotic therapy as that’s supposed to help as well. I also take crap load of other supplements like most everyone else. Looking into ozone therapy as well.
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7 hours ago, Kells said:
Thanks - If I decide to meetup with him again I will have to tell him - but if I just disappear obviously I won't have to have that conversation. I just don't know if he even deserves to know, I may just ignore and disappear. Would rather he wonder what happened to me then judge me. I know it sux that there is such a stigma associated with this. I wish I was at a place to go be a voice for us, but all I keep thinking is people will think I am a nasty, dirty slut, even though the person who gave me this I have been seeing for over a year. Ugh , this takes SO MUCH STRENGTH.
I understand you gotta do what works for you. Just give yourself and that person the respect is all if u decided to be intimate with them. I hate the fact that I was given a choice my ex gave it to me knowing that he had an then when I found out he didn’t act surprised as I was crying my eyes out to him.. I thought I was going to have someone there to help me through this but then dumps me 3 weeks later .. he wouldn’t go get tested and just said he wa sorry. Good luck to you! I understand being scared I haven’t had to tell potential partner yet.
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1 hour ago, Sunshine75 said:
I’ve only disclosed to potential partners twice— I’m still new at all this. Female to male disclosure. Like you I read posts on here, looked at the stats, read other articles, etc....
Both times I ended up disclosing by text. Not my choice going in, but just the way it worked out.
First time around I was so nervous but wasn’t yet really invested in the guy, but there was some potential and I figured, just go for it— consider it practice if nothing else. I really figured he’d drop it right there and I’d never hear from him again. But I was surprised to find him open to it. Said it really didn’t matter, he had a friend who had it and had been there for him so understood. Relationship never fully manifested into anything physical, but that ended up being more about distance than about HSV. In fact, that never was an issue at all.
second time was just last week with the first guy I’ve met in a LONG time that I just immediately clicked with and have high hopes for something longer term. 2nd date in, I knew i needed to disclose. We were both on the same page wanting more from this. He was getting ready to travel for work the next day, so I figured it was better to disclose and give him time to think on it before he came back. So I used a similar script to one shared on here in another post— just opening with how much I was enjoying getting to know him and that it seemed clear we both had interest in exploring where this might go. That I felt it important to be open about something that was somewhat hard to share. Said I had been diagnosed earlier in the year with HSV2, the virus that causes herpes. That there is a lot of misinformation out there but the reality is, it’s a skin condition that many people have— just not so many know they have it. Gave a couple stats, shared the disclosure pdf from this site and said I’d be happy to answer any questions or concerns he might have.
We had a nice back and forth on text from this. At one point I apologized for dampening our otherwise wonderful evening by sharing (after all, we’d ended our date with a pretty great kiss and then he has me texting about HSV). His response spoke volumes— he said I hadn’t dampened the evening at all, if anything “made it better”! He said that it was so refreshing to know someone would be so open and honest. He suggested he go get tested since that would only be fair to me— he’d had two partners since he’d last been screened for everything anyway and felt that was only right for both of us to have a full picture of what were dealing with. And said he’d also talk to his doctor about it. 😊 but also said he felt like we had a great start to something here and we’d figure it out!
That was last week and I am hopeful for where things might go with us. I am also trying to keep my heart in check to a certain extent until he’s been to the doctor and he has the information he needs to determine his options, risks, etc... but, no matter what, I have given him the choice that I never had on deciding to take the risk or not.
i truly hope you have an equally receptive partner on the other end of your disclosure! There is something empowering about sharing this and opening up a level of honesty and openness with a potential partner early on! Doesn’t make it easy and I’d certainly never wish HSV on anyone, but you’ll know in their reaction if they are there for the right reasons!
good luck to you! I look forward to hearing how it goes!
Awesome !! Gives me inspiration on when I need to disclose, love the way u handled this and you are absolutely right u gave him the choice to move things forward and how nice it is that he was willing to get tested and not give up on something that could be wonderful. I understand u have to kept your heart in check but what positive feedback. Good luck to you!!
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8 hours ago, Stupida said:
@Amando I am trying to hear from those who suffered hair loss and recovered from it off of the antivirals. I hear about people losing hair, but no one is mentioning whether it has stopped and filled back in.
i am trying to find personal experiences with its use.
I agree with @Amando the antivirals are horrible on your body. I decided to come off them too. I think not just the side effects of hair loss but other side effects. Your body needs to be boosted by its immune system to help keep the outbreaks off and your diet as well is huge. Hope u find your answers @Stupida
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I understand your scared, I think most of us are scared. But u gotta remember that 2 out 3 ppl have hsv1 which is the same virus orally or gentially so it’s very common. What’s not common is ppl don’t talk about it so that’s what this crap still keeps getting passed around. To many ppl are scared to talk about it.. so what u need to know is the facts about it and then explain it from there. Going in knowing what this virus is and explaining it to someone is important so doing your research will help u better equipped to discuss this as I heard most ppl have questions so u needs to be able help them understand which helps get rid of stigma. Also explain what u are u doing personally to take care of yourself.. it your on antivirals, supplements are u getting special treatments.. ppl are just scared because they aren’t informed about this horrible virus.. just be the voice u wanted someone to be for you when u weren’t given the option or knowledge is all. Good luck!! Wish the best.
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3rd Date She Told Me She has Herpes
in General herpes discussion
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I totally agree but if it’s all about the fact that this possibly great human being has herpes and that the deciding factor I think it’s crazy to think that u won’t run into another person with the same conditions. I just feel that it shouldn’t be ultimately the deciding factor if someone is great person as it’s hard to even find that these days.