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VA2121 last won the day on December 17 2020

VA2121 had the most liked content!

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  1. I'm not doing so great and was wondering if someone would be willing to write in the messages with me. I could use someone that can relate, maybe someone that has had this virus since their teens or very early 20s. But I'm not picky, I'd be willing to talk with anyone.
  2. Thank you Birds, that was a very helpful post. You have no idea how much it helped. As with most relationships, the issue is probably not with her, it's with me. At 42 yo now, I've had this disease for way more than half my life, I've had it since I was 16 from the first girl I kissed. I've only EVER been monogamous. And I guess with the pandemic on top of a typical sexual midlife crisis when going into your 40s, it's driven me to depression. Not necessarily depressed about my current life, but the life I lost in my teens, 20s, and to a lesser extent in my 30s because of this diseas
  3. Minerva, I sent you a direct link to the story in a DM.
  4. So, I guess the moderators deleted links I put in my post, maybe that's a rule. One of the links was from an Australia study that showed a LARGE percentage of suicides had googled about herpes on their computers before committing suicide. Another article was about how there is a growing recognition in the medical community that the HSV virus which we know hides in our nervous systems may impact the mental health of people with the infection. These stories seem to be the tip of the iceberg that obviously the main stream media wouldn't care about because of COVID and just because, but also do
  5. Been struggling with depression lately. Not sure if it is caused by having herpes or that herpes just exacerbates it. I know I the past, no doubt it was because I had herpes, but I've been dealing with this for way more than half my life. It made me wonder, how many of us actually die by suicide and it never gets reported.or tracked. Herpes has been put on a shelf, way before COVID, to HIV and cancer and nearly any other disease you can think of. Of course curing HIV and cancer are critical, important. But the mentality from the scientific and medical community imo has been that herp
  6. First outbreak is the worst. I don't know if this is true, but my gut tells me the worst your initial outbreak the better your body handles it in the future. I can still remember my first outbreak so many years ago. But, I can't even remember my "last" outbreak. That too was also I guess years ago. Take your vitamins, eat healthy, and try to get some exercise (probably difficult to do during your first outbreak). It does get easier regarding the outbreaks.
  7. Like was posted above, there's so much here. And it's hard to see the forest for the trees. This won't effect his military opportunity, relax on that. I'm a former military officer and have had this since I was 16 years old. You also indicated he already had HSV1. If he now has HSV2 also, his health will not get worse. He will be ok. The hardest part about this is disclosing and limiting yourself to those already infected (if you choose that path). He was already in both those situations. The depression sounds like it was already there. That's something that can effect a person's mil
  8. What else do you have going on in your life? Dating was not EVERYTHING. Are you in school, working, playing a sport, going to the gym, etc. I know this COVID pandemic has upended so much of all our lives, but my advice and experience is to pour yourself into those other aspects of your life that were already there before this diagnosis that maybe you neglected. Be a better student, be a better employee, be a better brother/sister/son/daughter/friend, work out more, eat better, etc. Over time you can even expand and take on new things to focus on and help develop yourself, get a pet, volun
  9. I can't imagine anything ruining my quality of life more than entering the dating scene as a divorcee in my 40s with an incurable STD. Plus, I don't want to break up my family, I have kids. That's great you and your spouse are willing to take on the risk of infection, I just couldn't do that to someone, much less someone I love, not after all I've been through with this. So, I am where I am. Maybe I'm unique, maybe no one has ever approached this disease like me in refusing to spread it and risk infection to another even if they are willing to risk infection. But that's why I'm here, tryi
  10. I'm not in the dating world, but was. I would disclose before going to spend the weekend with someone. I can't imagine a worst weekend then disclosing to someone that then rejects you for that and being stuck there. I mean, that's about as awkward as it gets. I chose a while ago to not date anyone that wasn't already infected. You say the person is a friend. Ok, what happens if he says he's ok with it. And then you infect him. I mean, he's infected for life. Do you both just love on after that if it doesn't become a life long relationship? I personally would feel beyond horribl
  11. @My_dog_is_hungry I'm not spreading negativity, definitely not trying to. I'm looking for fellow people to talk to about this situation that we share in life. I know many on here just come because of a recent diagnosis. I've dealt with this for way over half my life. I don't think I was even done with puberty when I had this life long disease change the direction and course of my life. It is 100% not rainbows and butterflies. I am not talking down to anyone, I am sharing my experience and story. Unfortunately, my experience and story happens to be a sad one. And ironically, many includ
  12. I get it, and I'm not trying to be abrasive. But the idea that keeps popping up as I review comments is that when a person is unwilling to risk a life long STD for a relationship, then that relationship and people were never meant to be. I wish I could get over that hump. I have no doubt I was meant to be with a different person that was derailed by this disease. A great person, loving person. I don't blame her for turning away from our relationship and I certainly don't believe we weren't meant for each other. This infection and stigma wreaks havoc on lives, typically on those lives of
  13. Agree, sort of. It depends if you are willing to risk infecting someone you love and want to marry. I wasn't willing to do that. Felt if I was with someone that wasn't infected, and later got infected for life from me, the relationship would never be equal. So, didn't go down that road. Now that's water under the bridge. Herpes has helped lead me here. Maybe I'm the only one who settled with another on a website or meeting group because they didn't want to infect another. Unfortunately that's water under the bridge. Just wondering if there is anyone else out there in a similar situati
  14. Anyone on here settled because of H and married someone who also has it because you couldn't take the thought of passing it on to someone else? I've been married for years, beautiful family, beautiful home, great job, looks from the outside like an amazing life. But to get here, I settled. I don't think I ever loved my wife and don't love her now. I always feel and think had it not been for H, I would have married much better and differently. Am I alone on this?
  15. VA2121


    I got this when I was 16 from the first girl I ever kissed. I thought she was a virgin too. I had no idea. Anyways, this virus has taken the love of my life away from me when I was 20. My girlfriend for two years that I truly loved. I didn't "know" for certain I had it, I stayed with the girl that gave it to me all through high school. So when I moved on to college I had blocked it from my mind. I didn't have any outbreaks, so I went into school thinking I was normal. Well, the second girl I ever kissed that I dated in college got a cold sore on her mouth, and she had given me oral. S
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