perfGentleman

You are probably over stressing your body. Experiment with what activities cause the prodome. you can try "going super healthy" for a while , see if it helps.

What if he got it? What about his other and future partners? Well... He doesn't know.

It is been a year... It was a year ago, I started drinking excessively to forget someone and was then brought to a screeching halt by an annoying piece of double stranded material. I have never more distrusted others. My sex drive is so low, it is like I'm back in Middle school. I did meet a few interests , I even broke it off with one before naturally derailing it. You should see how upset she was when I finally disclosed it, as if I had been playing a bad joke on her. She is so fine with it, I wonder if she is crazy ( Mind you, I seem to attract that) Lool. Yes, she knows plenty about it. She already has oral hsv. 1? Maybe she is not telling me something ... mmm... Er... The idea of putting someone going through these emotions... is troubling. The first half of me, figures, I should get back out there .. into "life". And the other half really does not want to get that close to another human being ever again. I could ask her to get tested, but she really doesn't care. Just ranting...

One time. Protected.

Yup... Asymptomatic persons shed about half as often as symptomatic tough...

I would agree more with the first one. For herpes, antivirals only slow the replication of the virus, giving your body the time to combat the virus. There was an article posted a couple of weeks or so explaining how antivirals work. This virus does not mutate much ( 2000 years old.. pretty much the same)

After a long series of text messages, she can't accept the risk. She's really scared. Okay. She was actually nice about the whole thing. And I can't blame her for not wanting to risk her health... Anyways, THIS SUCKS!!!! Really, how have I gone from being the selector to the selectee... Am I looking at the wrong people? They only want me for my body and not my mind and my heart! * It is so hard being a guy... *sighs*...

2.5% over a year, having sex twice a week. That is about 0.025% per time. Outside of outbreaks. You are going to be ok, you will learn to get to know your body, know when this H thing is acting up and not, use protection and have an awesome life.

I do not see why you cannot have oral sex with your husband... He already has the virus... Proay orally too. So why not..? Congrats on being a mom!

PS is for positive singles - an STD dating website. I have a profile somewhere there... It was not going to work out, I sensed major incompatibilities. I have not had sex with either of them, was still working up the mental energy to discuss it on coming sunday. I could not imagine they knew each other. It all feels like the first time again, and has triggered - yay! - a brand new OB! It has taken me a long while to come to peace with this. I'm going to try not to get too anxious about this and go live tonight, and probably drink too much. - That is how I got in this trouble anyways... I would imagine her friend would have been a great advocate since she had H too, but she probably didn't take it well that I never messaged her again. Woah... I'm torn between simply forgetting about this or explaining this to her. I mean... I don't want her to think I would have slept with her without telling her ( yes, the opportunity already came and I smoothly avoided it...) @seeker... I don't know.

I intend to treat this as any other condition ( highway robbery, cancer, asthma). It is such a small portion of what defines me that I'll date any pretty attractive and interesting person. At least for now, I will worry when intimacy becomes likely. That's the plan anywaus

The PS Gal... She seemed ok until we started chatting on Skype. I can't explain it but I just didn't have a good feeling about her. I didn't contact her again. Tinder gal and I just had a fun second date. It must have been pretty well since she told her friend about me ( PS gal) who recognized my name and picture. Of course when asked, I was honest. I understand the desire to protect her friend still... I would have preferred she contact me instead of messing this wonderful opportunity. Of course she is freaked out and wants to run far far away from me. I can't blame her for that. *sigh* I'll see if I can calm her down and put things in perspective.

ok, I'm going back up in my tree.

The only person I had an actual live conversation with, from PS, outed me to my Tinder date before I even got to disclosure. I am thinking of playing the lottery more often.

1. Yes and yes/no - ( after Oral sex ( at that point, I didn't know it made a difference. How many other viruses are only local... :( 2. Just that one time. 3. Yes... 4. No... she "couldn't afford" them... or didn't seem to know they reduced transmission. Didn't mention that anyways... I would have been glad to pay for hers instead of my own...

Hey Dancer, you are awesome. Just had to say it there.

I know.. it's just a gamble isn't it? Here we are , talking everyday, connecting so easily, talking too well. You have the best comebacks I have heard in years, and our playfulness has me laughing at all hours of the night, day. Damn, I am starting to really like you. We have this insane connection, like you know what I am going to say and you know what I'm feeling. And at times, we don't even need to talk and I'm just happy like that. I want to get physical, you know it, you feel it, but you want to wait. We understand each other on so many levels, I could marry you yesterday. I'm falling quick in a semi dellusion of instant love, instant passion. It wasn't love at first sight two years ago, I was taken but you were damn attractive. When you asked me why you hadn't heard from me in a year, you already knew the answer. I'm single now. I wanted to call you before tough...? How could I? My heart was not ready yet. Not ready for you. I have this secret tough, and I just want to blurt it out, just tell you now... we are well past date 4. I didn't mean to catch this virus, this life companion, really... it was just supposed to be all fun and games till I felt ready. I know you are not decided on me yet, and that's cool... I enjoy the chase. But I'm not perfect anymore, I feel... "defective". I can wait, I can take my time. I don't know how you are going to feel about it, I have noo idea. You are probably going to want to smack me on the head for not calling you earlier. but you know why... You are coming over next week and I dread it. My bachelor pad was conceived for minimal resistance... No one has ever made it out alive. Maybe I should sabotage myself by placing stink bombs around corners. Lol. Lock my bedroom, throw the key away. I can't wait to get my hands around you, but I'm not ready to tell you about this either. Not until I know you really want this too, besides I'm having too much fun just talking to you. I want you to feel desired because you are, fucking amazing... Then again, maybe I'm setting up myself for a crash and should escape before it is too painful. I'm a guy, I'm used to rejection. This H tough... is a brand new thing for me...

This is hard. I used to be the guy at the party surrounded by everyone, the life of the party. Really, the guy who would make sure everybody had an awesome time, and arranged that everyone met someone. The connections creator, the entertainer, the prankster, the joker. Now I can't seem to shake H from my thoughts, it is just there all the time. I was out of with friends over the weekend and I just couldn't do anything. My very close friends who know, know. But I just... feel awful. While one is trying to hook me up with her cousin, and I make excuses to send her home by herself, the looks of disbelief , "Hooow are you passing on THAT?". Here is another lady who is going home very disappointed and asking herself what she did wrong. But she didn't, she was darn cute and 6 months ago, I would have kidnapped her for the weekend. I know, I know... I still could, and disclose and have a great time or see if she runs away. I don't know. The next day, I lied myself out of getting a phone number. "What guy does that?" At least she won't wonder why I didn't call.

The way I see it... I will probably be asking every future partner when they were last tested... I don't need another virus. I have slowed down my rhytm too since getting H 3 months ago. It's been hard, going from a multiple times a week to almost 0. When I got H, I was just about to embark on a very promiscuous life. I had 3 different partners scheduled for that week. I really believed that condoms protected me against everything. How I wish she had been on suppresive therapy. Anyway... There are some people in life best avoided. However... had she not told me, and had I been asymptomatic and caught it anyways, I could have been passing it on to about 10 other persons by now, until someone would let me know! Kind of the same way you got it.... I won't limit my partners to H+ or H-. I think the person should be aware. Just in case...

When you look in the mirror, are you still the same awesome person you were before? Can you have casual sex? Yes. why not? As long as you take that moment and let the other person be aware and do what you can in your power to protect them. Why not? I dislike when people ask me about risks. Because... I'm a risk taker. I got H because I took a risk. I'm not so upset about the risk, I just wish I had been better protected by my partner and more aware. Would I have still taken the risk? Probably. Would have probably been more careful though... I blame my hormones for that part. I understand what you mean tough... You can't just go and have sex with anyone now. Sex is a big deal now. I feel ya... All we can do is protect others in the best of our abilities, and let them make a decision on whether they are willing to take the risk,. I'm sure you have heard this one before: YOU MISS ALL THE SHOTS YOU DON'T TAKE!

Hi ASmith, I read the original Valtrex study when they came up with the 1-2% statistic: The few couples where transmission HAD occurred where the cases where the partner had missed days. The statistic takes in account human error. I'm hoping that a religious combination of lysine and antivirals will make transmission unlikely. Hope that helps with our anxiety!

So we tried , we did... I don't know. I was too anxious to enjoy, too worried about transmitting herpes. Things are so different now. I'm afraid she will call me and say she has symptoms. It is always going to be this way... She will be going away for a year in 3 months. I want to enjoy the time we have but I am not dealing with the possibility. Which brings up another question, when I was infected.. I did have oral symptoms ( lymph nodes, sore throat). It is HSV2. Does it mean I have it orally now? I felt a small tingle a couple of times on my lips but nothing ever happened. I know it hardly ever recurs on the lips but is giving Oral sex safe? Is that still safe when I have prodrome symptoms? Maybe I'll just use a dam for now. - That is going to be weird now.

Ha! This is a bit funny to me as you sound just as some of my friends would. Forget socio economic classes... Oh, and I am a black man. Still having a hard time believing that I got it. I honestly believe black people are more suceptible to it because of a more porous skin. That is another conversation. What else, I'm a well paid engineer for a well known international company. It gets better, I got it from a white girl, who was pretty educated - well traveled, master's degree, "old enough" to know better in my humble opinion. Ironically I always thought older women were more mature and less "risky". Most of my friends are doctors, engineers, lawyers and a few research scientists in there. This virus does not discriminate. Equal opportunity infector... That said, I'm 29. This is probably going to screw my dating pool too. I had just come out of a 4 year relationship with a woman who hasn't agreed to being my wife. - Another story. From my research... I have done a lot... most women will be ok about it. Depends how you disclose it and how well you can protect them. And your own attitude toward it. Besides you are in law, I'm sure you can make a convincing case of it. * This statement might sound terrible but works to our advantage "Women take decisions based on emotions more than guys to". I'm actually not that worried about dating and I have faith better drugs will come around to reduce transmission risks. Good luck!

I have had similar symptoms a couple of times now... and have HSV2. It seems some of us who don't get full pimples outbreaks get the rashes instead... You can try antifungal (Canesten) over 2 weeks, see if it goes away. Don't worry about HIV, - I did go crazy about it too when this all started. I'm ok now, nothing you can do but enjoy every day of your life. What helps me - an overthinking analyzer - is keeping busy, and social.

I find pregnancy to be a much bigger risk than H. He took that risk. You need to tell him. The sooner he can educate himself about it, the easier things will be. You are going to be allright. ;)