perfGentleman

Maybe you should get tested again... Tests can be wrong... Do you remember if it was HSV1 or HSV2?

*scratching my head... - Not to kidnap your post but just wondering: I thought that viral shedding could happen anywhere within the boxer area...? And that outbreaks could change locations altough usually the same one.

:) lol thanks, I will put my creativity to use!

I'm trying to get back to a "normal" dating life and I hope you can help me with these questions: I read somewhere, it was most contagious in the first three , or 6 months (42% asymptomatic shedding) and then 20% since I have symptoms. If I get on suppressive therapy for the next year, that goes down to 10%, and with condoms a 5%. Since my first outbreak/symptoms, when I'm not on meds, I'm in a prodrome... all the time. ALL the time. Constant lower back pain, and genital burning... It might stop for a couple of hours or and then back on.. Does it basically mean, I will be highly contagious for the next 6 months to a year? And might as well avoid sex with any H- person? Oh and I don't get any visible blisters or ulcers... Also are there any long term dangers to being on meds? Why such a hurry? I'm trying to roll with the punches and not let this HSV2 stop me from living. - Somewhat considering becoming a monk, that or buying a human size condom.

thanks! My ex-gf had just sent me this same list.

From what I remember it goes like... - Do I like her enough to take this risk? - What are the odds of me actually getting infected? - Is there anything else I can do to avoid getting infected? - I need to take some time and think about this. - Am i feeling lucky? lol And that was in the heat of the moment...

it has been hard to come to acceptance. The symptoms haven't really stopped in the past 7 weeks since. The constant pain gets to my head.. So the pain has made me disagreable ( a jerk, frankly) and yes, angry. Is there anything I can do to stop the constant back pain? I am on Acyclovir now, but it is still there. The only times I would feel like myself were under the influence ( more booze!). I can't change the past. I know why I did what I did and I can't fix it with all the regrets in the world. I look to the future and I'm weary. Even when If I get past disclosure, I'm going to have a hard time putting another person's health at risk. I get bad thoughts, dark thoughts, the kind you shouldn't have. and there is the self hatred.

I know my feelings are not completely justified, and I feel like such a complete idiot for giving in. I did not know what I was getting myself into, I have many regrets and a lot of emotions I don't know how to deal with. I made a huge mistake. And then I cannot justify to myself that someone would not be loved because of a virus, so I would have done it probably. It would not stop me. I just wish... I had been safer, not caught it... not the first time!!!

I have apologized. she never wrote back. I still feel betrayed, I just feel she waited till I was at my most vulnerable to tell me and gave me little choice, cornered me. I feel as if I was tricked into the situation. Yes, I should have had enough strength to back away and recover my senses, make a thought through decision with the right "head" ... I should have sought out ways for safer sex... I know... Especially when I admitted to her on the previous date that I was too trusting of other people. I just don't see how I could ever trust her ...

You are right... Thank you for your help and putting things in perspective. In perfect world, I should have taken a cold shower. That might have calmed my impulsive nature. I probably still wouldn`t have been able to think clearly, but maybe we wouldn`t have had sex. Here is what I should have said : "I'm annoyed because I really like you, and I really want you. I wish I had known about this before so I could figure it out correctly. I can't think right now, and any decision I make I might regret. I want you to stay but if you do I might lose control and make a move on you. This is horribly hard and difficult for me, and I really want to hold you and make love to you, and this is driving me crazy. So please leave and we can talk later. " Anyway... Thank you so much for your encouraging words. This is a really great community. I made her feel really bad. - I'm not good at handling pain and said some really hurtful things. . . Thanks again!

We were on a third date, after talking via emails and texts over 3 months. We went on a third date, and on the way back I invited her over. She agreed without any hesitation. We talked and made out. I was tired, horny and had been drinking beer and whiskey. I gave her oral sex and then she told me. I didn't even know what H was, no clue honestly. She hadn't drank with me. I guess what they say about trusting people who won't drink with you is true... I should have been wiser and stopped, I tried. All I remember is thinking I better stop and leave now, next thing I know... we were done and I was asking myself if I would regret what just happened. I blame my sex drive, hormones, emotions, and alcohol for clouding my judgment. It is very hard to resist a beautiful naked woman. How do you kick someone out for revealing something like this? And yet find within you the strength to appease your desires... Yes, I was weak. I should have taken a cold shower, a really cold one. For the past six weeks, I have displayed every single symptom in the book, from tingling, to burning genitals and stabbing pain in the back and legs. I'm filled with regrets and anger, a sense that I was taken advantage of, used... I did use a condom, and she had no symptoms at the time. I suspect the condom rolled during intercourse. I expect to receive my official diagnosis from the sores tomorrow. Besides having herpes doesn't mean I liked her less... I just hate having it now. She seemed genuinely sorry at first. Altough after I confirmed to her my symptoms ,she had been avoiding me, won't return my calls and won't date me anymore. She won't tell me when she had planned to tell me. I'm not sure she ever meant to. Now I'm afflicted with this, alone in my pain, lonely, and upset with myself. I promised myself I would never do this to anyone. Altough at times, I feel like taking revenge on the world. I feel as if she single handedly picked me... My faith in people is shaken. I have read everything online ( from blog posts to research articles on vaccines) and surely, H is not a big deal. It hurts as hell tough. Hurts like hell... For the past 5 weeks I saw three doctors, they do not see any lesions convincing enough for them. Yet in my body I feel every symptom. I have stopped dating, isolated myself and plan to spend the rest of my year playing videogames and working out. My friends don't think it is a big deal, but they are not the ones who will deal with a sex less life. It burns, it hurts, and I'm full of regrets.