forgivenessandpeace
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Posts posted by forgivenessandpeace
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@Tylerrr I'm so sorry to hear about this not great news you've just received for Christmas this year. It's a really tough diagnosis to swallow, mostly because of the stigma. H is both a physical and and emotional challenge to overcome. Oh and of course throw in huge upheaval in your intimate relationship, worry and anxiety about your sexual future... it sucks right now. Take care of yourself first and foremost right now, physically and emotionally. And take it easy on yourself: you are absolutely deserving and desirable AND, provided you showered today, CLEAN!!
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And remember you are desirable and valuable and beautiful regardless of how these men choose to react. Don't forget to love yourselves first and foremost!
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Another awe-inspiring story, thank you so much for sharing. Your insight is priceless.
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I have not done anything like that. If I find anything out I'll let you know.
I see a need and with all my heart I want to fill it.
Fill that need! You can do it :)
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"I can feel my spirit urging me to share this each day"
THANK YOU for following that call @JessikaRabbit89. What courage! What an inspiration you are, thank you!
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This is so encouraging, thank you!
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I wish your giver had been as conscientious about not putting anyone at risk as you are!
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I've noticed that lysine seems to help tame the prodromes and I'd rather take that than acyclovir as the latter gives me headaches. Everyone is different and different things work for different people. Let us know how you make out.
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Your doctor's office has done you a horrible disservice in the way they've handled this. Can you call them for clarifications? There are lots of posts about test results here you can read up on. Don't panic. You don't have a definitive answer yet.
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Beautifully said @PositivelyBeautiful
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Oh it's definitely a roller coaster ride. Just a few short months ago I was in a very dark and angry place, giving all kinds of emotional energy to all the wrong places. Sometimes I must confess I'm even thinking "yeah bullshit this is just a nuisance skin condition". (@WCSDancer2010 you know I love you). It can feel downright debilitating with a severe initial outbreak, to be honest. And we KNOW how emotionally debilitating it can be; in fact it's not unlike the emotional trauma of a love relationship break-up.
The point is there is a LOT going on and quite a bit to process initially and periodically thereafter. Add to this that very few people ever receive their diagnosis news in the best, supportive, most informative way. [We on this forum should really write a herpes diagnosis patient care protocol for the health care industry to adopt.]
I would encourage all newbie herpsters to slow everything in their lives down to the extent possible. Simplify your life and stabilize yourself physically and emotionally. As much as we love sex (that's usually how we got here after all), we're probably not doing ourselves or our partners any favors by continuing on with sex as usual.
But we WILL have sex again. Lots of sex. With partners who love us physically, emotionally, intellectually, who love us in our entirety. I'm not there yet but I am very encouraged by veteran herpsters on this site who report the best sex of their lives. Take that HSV. ;)
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Ahhhh, that's the hardest part: on top of the stigma to "feel like I let myself down". And WOW is this a good exercise in coping with anxiety! I wish you peace and calm @GoodIntentions xoxo
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It's sad that Doctors are so woefully uninformed. Did your partner in that relationship ever get tested?
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I'm so stressed and anxious about something else in my life right now that being h+ feels like nothing. Coming up on my 2 year anniversary and beginning to come to terms. They physical symptoms, although ferocious with that never ending initial outbreak, have simmered down quite a bit (even in this super-stressful time right now no outbreak) I'm even beginning to adopt the attitude of fuck you stigma. The funny and inspirational stories on this site have helped me tremendously. I recommend spending some time in the success stories section.
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HSV2 and HSV1 are two different albeit related viruses. Back in the day HSV1 was typically "above the belt" oral cold sores and HSV2 was genital. Now with the prevalence of oral sex, people have been contracting HSV1 genitally. You cannot get HSV2 from an HSV1+ partner giving oral sex.
As for suppressive therapy, it's a great option when you're in a relationship as it cuts your partner's risk in half.
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I'm sorry to hear about your suffering :( There is no doubt it's a hard diagnosis to get, the physical symptoms can be very painful especially at the first outbreaks. And then the emotional pain, it's a lot to adjust to. I'd say the most important thing for you to do now is to give yourself some time and cut yourself some slack. Love yourself, care for yourself, forgive yourself. Dating and getting into another relationship? You can, you will but not now. Now your priority is to focus on your health and physical/emotional healing.
I wish I could be there to hug you in person @abarrow328
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Thank you for this encouraging post and success story of how you've dealt with the physical symptoms and managed to find love and happiness despite H. Go you!
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You're a beautiful dancing angel WCSDancer2010
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I'm sorry to hear this happened to you @bowersn84. I also failed to trust my gut and protect myself, now I have hsv2. I'm 47 divorced 4 years mother of 3. I'm kind of surprised that your blood work showed seropositivity after just 2 weeks. Do you have the actual numeric result? Did the burning lead to an outbreak?
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I hear you @redroses. I get caught up in the exact same place. I wouldn't never want someone to suffer what I went through, especially the man I love most in the world!
Is it fair for him to have a say in the risks he takes?
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Still no symptoms. So I hope you're getting it on with your partner? Or maybe there is some other reason you need to take a breather from that relationship?
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I don't know what to say other than can you have a conversation with your physician about it?
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There are two sides to dealing with this hsv infection: the physical symptoms of clinical disease (prodromal symptoms like the tingling/itching, blistering), and the emotional difficulties associated with the stigma of the disease. A huge part of the emotional difficulty lies in this illusion of being undesirable, which really boils down to our normal human fear of rejection.
There are over 100 stories on this site of people with h disclosing to potential partners WITHOUT being rejected. In many cases sex has been delayed and the human beings involve actually get to know each other better (like you're talking about @sw85), they develop emotional intimacy and build the foundation for a much more fulfilling relationship that ultimately we all want, male and female alike. Add some great sex to that combination and WOW, jackpot!!
So, our first response has to be to figure out how to manage the clinical disease for ourselves. There is a ton of advice on that subject here in this forum plus a ton of experimenting we can each do on our own.
Next we have to overcome the temptation to let this h+ status serve as an excuse to hide out and avoid rejection. It's so easy to blame all of our woes on this little virus critter. The fact is I reject potential partners on a whole host of criteria long before I know their hsv status. Hell I've been known to reject partners based on their poor grammar (yes I'm a grammar snob). I've chosen not to pursue a relationship with a man because he has 5-year-old twin daughters (my youngest is 15 and I don't want to go back). We are all afraid of being rejected for a whole host of reasons, many/most of which we have no immediate control over (height, weight, cup-size, penis size, eye color, skin color, cancer status). It's easy to slip into blame-everything-on-h mode, decide our lives are ruined, and just sulk.
Alternatively, we can focus on being the best people we can be for ourselves. Nobody likes a Negative Nelly and healthy self-confidence is universally attractive to both sexes. We are who we are. We had strengths and weaknesses before h, we have potentially more strengths and 1-more, non-life threatening weakness after h. If we decide this one thing is enough to knock us out of life, well, then I would argue we need to decide differently.
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Is your husband hsv1+ ? hsv2+ ?
I'm so sorry that when you should be recovering and adjusting to the little bundle of joy you have to deal with your initial outbreak which is NEVER easy. Hugs to you @Italgal33
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So Overwhelming
in General herpes discussion
Posted
Cry if you need to and maybe find the diet/exercise regimen that works for you and helps your immune system keep the virus in check. One really important part of your immune system is your attitude and state of mind. Do you have symptoms?