sanngrior

You ARE special enough!!!! You are giving into some pretty dark thoughts, and they are NOT TRUE. A man would choose you because he likes you. Because herpes doesn't have to be that big of a deal. Because your other traits far out weight an annoying virus that very VERY rarely develops into anything worse that an annoying skin condtion. I think about this sometimes, and I immediately force myself to think of reasons I am good. I've even made a short list. 1. I am compassionate 2. I am a total nerd - comic books, Dungeons and Dragons, you name it! 3. I'm driven - done with my undergrad, working in my field, and planning on getting a masters 4. I am easy going 5. I am pretty cute (dat booty!) 6. I have been through some shit (just like everyone else) and have largely become stronger because of it I want you to respond with 5 things that you like about yourself, or 5 things that you are good at. And none of this "I can't think of any." One thing that really helps me when I have negative thoughts is to do a thought record. Here is a pretty good example of what one is. http://teenagestressprevention.blogspot.com/2012/03/thought-record-sheet.html I know the site is for teenagers, but writing one of these out is really, REALLY helpful.

My experience with yeast infections as well as advice from doctors about them, is usually they don't smell too bad. If anything, they smell like your normal vaginal secretions but just a bit stronger. If her discharge is smelling much different from her normal scent, it could be a bacterial infection or something else. The pain is the biggest concern I think! Go have her see a doctor for sure - and she should tell him EVERYTHING that could be related. While some doctors are assholes, most are understanding and compassionate. However, if they don't have the whole story, they might not be able to give a correct diagnosis or screen for the right things.

Long story short - I have had HSV1 orally since I was very young (kindergarten!) and it by and large has been annoying, nothing else. Last week I had my first OB on my bum, and for sure thought I had HSV2. Nope! Two swab tests and a blood test later confirms that I have HSV1 down there as well. Its really uncommon for someone who has one type already to get it somewhere else. But instead of throwing myself a pity party, I've decided to be grateful for a supportive partner and only having to deal with one virus instead of two. The anxiety is there for sure, but I've been pretty good at beating it back with a stick. However! Because this is relatively uncommon, I can find very few resources on what to expect! Do I assume that I will have HSV1 OBs orally and sacrally as common as I would have them if I just had it one place? Do I expect to get fewer OBs downstairs? Will I have more oral OBs? Are meds going to be as effective as they would be for someone who only has it in one area? Current OB is healing fast - thankful for that! But last night I got the beginning of a cold-sore on my lip! I've been hammering it with abreva, L-lysine, vitamin C and licorice tea, and already it seems to be settling down before it gets to full blister mode. But since I'm already on valtrax for my bum OB, I'm curious as to why I got one at all. Is anyone else in the same boat? Do you know of any info specifically for people who have HSV1 in two places?

While I can't find any info on this topic specifically, I am a biologist (Wildlife though - not human). I would think that if your medication or immune system has fought off all lesions on your labia/bum/wherever, it is very likely it has fought off and healed any lesions on your cervix. There is no biological reason that a lesion on your cervix would heal slower that on your labia. That being said, I personally plan on waiting 5-10 days after having NO symptoms of an OB to get busy. I think Dancer does that as well - check to make sure all visual symptoms are gone, then give yourself a window for peace of mind more than anything.

Cityofangels, please do not misinterpret my comment as a direct insult to you. It was a statement about my general feelings on the subject. You absolutely have the right to make that decision about your sexual health. Its a pity that most of us on this site did not have the option to make that decision, but instead acquired the virus from unknowing or non-disclosing partners. No one ever dates someone else out of compassion for them alone. However, a key part of compassion to me is the ability to truly look at the position someone is in, and treat them how you would like to be treated if you were in the same position, without judging them for any previous mistakes they may or may not have made. The word compassionate literally comes from root meaning "to suffer with." You do have every right to look after your own interests first - but that isn't a very compassionate view. Especially since herpes is by and large an inconvenience and not a serious medical issue (I understand there are rare exceptions), and the risk of contracting it when proper precautions are taken is low. Just like you do not judge someone who has herpes but would choose not to date them, I do not judge someone who refuses to date someone with an STD but would think very seriously about dating them even if I did not have an STD. Herpes, largely because of social stigma, is very scary sounding. Compassion, as I feel the definition of the word is, is literally the most important aspect of a potential partner for me. Before I had HSV1 genitally I broke up with a boyfriend of two years, because he wasn't compassionate towards people that he did not already know very well. I do not think we are in an argument based on conflicting information, I just think we have different values of what we find important in a partner.

Test results are back from a swab of some bumps I had on my butt. HSV1. I feel both lucky and unlucky at the same time. Unlucky because it is pretty uncommon for people who already have cold-sores orally to get HSV1 sacrally. Even stranger - I have it on my butt and have never had anal sex, or had anyone perform oral there specifically. Lucky because so far, my partner has been supportive and kind. Also lucky because if things don't work out with my current boyfriend (no indication that they won't :D), any future partners I have are statistically likely to have HSV1, and therefore their chance of getting it from me genitally is lowered. I plan on taking antivirals at least until I know if my partner has HSV1 or not. If he already has it, I'll let it be up to him if he wants me to keep taking them or not. If he doesn't have it, I'm for sure going to keep taking them. I haven't talked to him since I got the test results back, but considering how supportive he's been so far I don't think it will go poorly. Actually, I am looking forward to talking to him about it when I am not crying and talking 100 miles per hour. The one thing I am curious about is who I got it from. Really, it could be anyone I received oral sex from. Time frame is right for me to have gotten it from my current boyfriend, or a past one. My ex from college had it orally (pretty sure he got it from me - but we had the talk before we started dating and he was okay with it then, and when he got his first OB) but that would have been a long time (over a year and a half) for me to go without having my original OB. I want to say thanks to everyone here who has been so supportive, as well as offer my support to anyone who needs it. It has been mind blowing to me how similar some others experiences have been, even with sexual issues unrelated to STDs. Please message me if you need support! No one needs to go through this alone.

About 6 months ago, I dated (and slept with) and man who had genital-wart causing HPV. I really liked him, he was very kind, and was open and honest with me about it from the get-go. True, I had been vaccinated, but we had no way of knowing which strain of it he had, which very well could have been one of the many not covered by the vaccine. He wanted to get it tested, but hadn't had an outbreak in years. For men it is necessary to be have warts to get tested at all. We used condoms every time, and before sleeping with my current boyfriend I had a very through exam by a gynecologist to make sure I didn't have any HPV warts hiding anywhere, as well as an HPV test. I am not paranoid about it, and do not regret it. I think because of that experience, I am less paranoid about finding someone who will date me despite having HSV1. If I am compassionate and kind enough to date someone who has an STD, then there are other awesome people out there who are too. I wouldn't judge someone for not wanting to date me because of it, but honestly compassion is an important quality for me in a potential partner. If they aren't compassionate enough to deal with it, then I probably shouldn't date them anyways.

Well if he has never been tested, there is always the possibility that he had herpes, or any other STD for that matter, before he met you. I personally don't think anyone can lay blame if both partners were honest about not knowing their status before hand. I would be very sad in frustrated if I was in your position, so I understand. But please try to be positive! Channel your "I'm so over this" into "I'm so over someone who doesn't care about me enough to go to the Dr. or have an honest discussion with me." I have had a lot of anxiety throughout my life over a variety of objects, so I feel like I have a little bit of an upper hand in dealing with my first OB right now. If you want to talk about techniques I use to feel better and reduce my anxiety, let me know. They really do help a lot!

Hello! I'm 24 year old female living in the U.S. I would love to have a herpbuddy to talk to about this. If there is anyone on here who has also been through PTSD or rape and now has herpes that wants to talk, I'd love to chat. I do not think I contracted herpes from being raped (6 years ago, just had my first OB this week) I think the shame, guilt, etc is compounded and complicated from both experiences. Trying to beat back the anxiety!!!

I am so sorry that your boyfriend is being a jerk! I understand he might be scared, but thats no reason not to talk to you! Especially because if he has it, he could have easily given it to you! Regardless of who has it or doesn't, he is being pretty immature. If his way of "dealing" with this is to stop talking to you and not get tested himself, he probably isn't worth dating anyways. I understand not feeling sexy when you have an outbreak, but don't convince yourself never to have sex again. At least for me, sex with someone I care about can be an incredibly spiritual, emotional, and physically fulfilling experience. Everyone deserves that, regardless of them having herpes or not. It might take a while for you to be comfortable with that, but please don't write that experience off for yourself entirely because one person is being a jerk.

I should have been more clear - even though I had an OB a night after having sex, that was not the first I had sex with my boyfriend. We have been sleeping together since we started dating about a month ago. No anal sex though - and we have used condoms every time. He is pretty generous with oral sex (no complaints there) but nothing goes on with the backdoor. Looking back on it, we should have used dental dams! Is it possible that he kissed me, I was shedding HSV1 on my mouth, and then he transferred the virus when he went down on me? My last sexual contact before my current boyfriend was 3 months ago - so it is possible that I got it from that person and there wasn't enough time to test positive with the blood test. We did not have sex, but there was some naked cuddling going on. I will get the swab result either today or Monday. If that comes back negative, I plan on getting a blood test where they type and get the numbers. When should my boyfriend get tested? If I've had it all this time, he could have been exposed to it through shedding. With condom use, the the chance of him contracting it without me having an outbreak is about 4%? Is that right? And while I didn't know of having an outbreak when we had sex the other night, it is very likely I was shedding or maybe didn't notice the beginning of the outbreak. Even with condom use, that would up the chance of him contracting it a little bit more, right? Ahh! There are so many conflicting statistics out there, so many that are unclear. I am a biologist (wildlife, not medical) so I understand a lot of the terminology, I just don't know which sources are legitimate!

Have you ever thought of going to see a dermatologist instead of a normal doctor? Your foreskin getting tight and cracking sounds like a condition that herpes may be making worse, but also may be separate from herpes itself. I have very thin skin on my perineum, and it tears quite easily even though I have never had an OB vaginally. I saw a Dr. about it before I knew I had herpes, and he told me there are a lot of skin issues in that area that aren't STDs, generally just because that skin is sensitive. I started using hydrocortisone cream, stopped using any type of soap at all down there, and started using lube and polyisoprene condoms (non-latex condoms that are about as effective at preventing STDs) with my partner, as recommended by my doctor. The amount of tears I get has drastically reduced since then!

I am new to having genital herpes too, so I understand your anxiety!!! As to when you should stop taking the Acyclovir - if at the end of 10 days you no longer have any visible symptoms on your labia, I think you are okay to stop taking that medication. If its hard to see, grab a small makeup mirror and a flashlight. While it is hard to see your cervix yourself, if the other spots have responded to mediation and are gone, I think its pretty safe to assume that the spot on your cervix healed as well. As for the valtrax, I think the decision should largely be up to you. Are you sexually active? If so, taking valtrax can reduce the chance of you giving it to someone else, so I would certainly get on a suppressive amount. I understand that you don't want to have 6 OB's a year - no one wants to ever have any! But I think there is some benefit in seeing how your body responds to herpes before deciding to take it every day. You could also ask your doctor to get you a refillable prescription of acyclovir or valtrax to keep on hand incase an outbreak starts - that way you can prevent it from getting bad without having to take valtrax every day.

I have had oral herpes (type 1) my whole life, and it hasn't been an issue. I'm sure I got it from a relative, and since I always had it I was never really ashamed of it. I thought it looked gross, sure, but I generally had 1 or 2 OBs a year, only consisting of one cold sore. Pretty mild. I have told everyone I dated about it, and to my knowledge only one of those people who previously didn't have it got it from me. He wasn't mad about it. Earlier this week I came home from work and my behind was pretty itchy. I wear waders at my job, so its not uncommon for me to get monkey butt from sweating in them all day. I went for the hydrocortisone, but when I put it on I felt some bumps. After looking in the mirror and doing a little googling, I was pretty sure I had some mild sacral herpes bumps. I went to urgent care, and held it together until I got into the visiting room, but then starting crying. My doctor was actually really awesome - she was hilarious, talking about herpes just being "a pain in the butt" and not a serious medical concern. We talked about how funny it was that I was having an OB in my butt even though I have never had anal sex. She confirmed that it was definitely herpes and took a swab - though she was uncertain if we would be able to tell what type it was, as none of the sores were open. She also told me "we are going to suppress the shit out of this - don't worry" which made me laugh. I started dating someone new about a month ago, and we had sex (with protection) the night before my OB. There is a small amount of evidence that taking valtrax soon after being exposed to herpes can prevent you from getting it, so I got a prescription for him, as well as one to keep my OB from getting worse. I really like this guy I have been dating. He is incredibly kind, kind of a weirdo, and really funny. When we first started dating I got an STD test for pretty much everything, and came back as negative for everything but the HSV1. I told him about the HSV1, and he told me he didn't care at all. We have been having (really good!) sex, but have been really good about using condoms every time. So as soon as I got done at the Dr.s, I went over to tell him. I'm sure I didn't do it in the best way - basically cried and said everything in about 30 seconds. He just sort of held me and tried to comfort me - told me that everything was going to be alright. I was really surprised and asked him "How are you not freaking out about this?" he replied "Yeah, it sucks. But its not like either of us are going to die from this." We got his valtrax prescription filled (my pharmacy was closed, so I had to wait until the next day to fill mine) and hung out for a little bit longer. I told him to get tested before he decided to keep dating me or not, and I would let him know what type it was when I got my results back. So my thoughts on this are as follows. There is a chance that my immune system is slacking, and I am having an HSV1 OB despite already having it orally. There is also the possibility that my new boyfriend unknowingly has it and gave it to me. The final possibility is that I have had it for a while (It has been a while since my last partner), had a false negative, and then shortly after had an OB. I'm not really mad at whoever might have given it to me. I am more mad that despite taking all the proper precautions (getting STD tests, using condoms, not sleeping with more than one person at any given time) I now have it. I would be incredibly mad at myself if I gave it to my new boyfriend - although I realize that is being a bit harsh with myself as I honestly wouldn't be mad if I found out he gave it to me not knowing he had it. We are both working a lot the next few days, but hopefully will be carving pumpkins tomorrow night. Depending on if we are able to get some alone time (he lives with 5 other people) I plan on talking with him about both when he should get tested (2-3 weeks from now, right?) as well as the transmission rates if I continue to take valtrax and we continue to use condoms. I am terrified he will decide he doesn't want to date me. I won't be mad at him - it is a perfectly logical choice if he doesn't have it. But we were friends the whole summer before we started dating, and his friend group are pretty much my only friends in town (I moved here last May not knowing anyone). If he doesn't want to date me, I'm afraid things will be awkward and I will basically not have any friends. I'm afraid his friends will ask why we broke up after everything has been going so well. I'm trying not to think to about it until he gets tested and I get my test results back, but its hard! Has anyone else had a similar experience where they had an OB shortly after testing negative? Or has anyone had an experience where they had an HSV1 OB downstairs after knowing they had it orally? What about finding out you had it shortly into a new relationship? Sorry for the novel!