ivoryrain

It is likely a knee jerk response. You're the easiest person for him to blame at this point. I'm not saying his reaction is okay, but I'm sure it's a typical one. He's likely in shock if he has never had any symptoms. Try to ignore it the best you can because you can't change his mind for him.

If I have learned one thing, it's that not knowing is scarier than knowing. So what if you have H? You know now. You can start treatment. And you won't be unknowingly infecting people like those who have never been tested due to no symptoms can.

It's funny at work today, one of my managers was talking about starting up a nonprofit for high school girls to talk about life, boys, school, sex, etc., since she's close to their age (she's 20) and a lot of girls don't have someone who will be straight up and real with them. We got on the topic if STDs and how our sex ed programs used scare tactics like showing us horrible pictures of STDs. She said, "Yeah, I really don't think that herpes probably looks THAT bad. That's gotta be worst case scenario." I just giggled to myself and took the opportunity to share some facts about how common it is and that you can get HSV1 genitally. I told her to share those and similar facts. I would've said more, but I didn't want her to be like how do you know so many facts about H :P

I'm having my first OB as well and was concerned about the same thing. I did have a UTI and bacterial vaginosis in addition to H (and my period! My vagina clearly has the worst timing ever! lol) Anyway, I'm not sure if I had an internal OB - the doctor didn't report anything odd in there Monday, but we also didn't think it was H until my results came back Friday. I can tell you though that the discharge is clearing up. It was so heavy I was considering going to the hospital. I still have some, but it's about 1/4-1/2 of what it was. Friday I was soaking through overnight maxi pads. I only had to change my pad once today, and I did it more so because I don't want any dampness to cause more bacterial infections or help the virus thrive, not because there was tons and tons of discharge. I don't know exactly what it is or if it's due to the bacterial infection or H, but I can tell you it got better after a few days! Hopefully yours will do the same. If not, definitely see a doctor. I'm for sure going to ask about it.

Pretty much what seeker said. Your first outbreak can occur as soon as 2 days after infection or decades later, so first OB is not the best indication of time of infection. My symptoms were like yours. I had a UTI and a singular pimple-like bump (Monday). The doctor didn't think it was herpes. It ulcered the next day, but I figured it was due to trauma from the swab. Within a few days, more and more "pimples" were appearing and ulcering. Wednesday my UTI symptoms weren't gone even though I'd finished my antibiotics. I developed awful pain in my back and hips that finally stopped today. Friday my results came back positive. I had itching but I also had a bacterial infection and UTI so it's hard to say if it was related. The first bump itched when touched, though. Yes, you most definitely SHOULD, but I know people who decided not to disclose to past partners. It's going to be scary no matter what. If he would hang up and never speak to you again, you're better off anyway

I was thinking the same thing! Mine didn't look ANYTHING like pictures on Google or even like a blister. Mine looked like pimples. I only found one site that said that they could look like that, so I was just thinking I had a pimple until more and more started showing up. I'm trying to find pictures of the healing stages and can't seem to find that either.

Thanks everyone! I'm actually feeling much better today! I think my body was just overworked from trying to catch up to the virus' progression so to speak.

I don't know what to do. I'm too sick to work one of my jobs - the other two I can probably manage. Any long periods of standing, walking around, basically anything that doesn't involve laying in bed all day leaves me dizzy, nauseated, and in cold sweats (don't have a thermometer to see if I have a fever). Oh, and all of the excessive discharge means changing my pad frequently, which is embarrassing since I have to announce when/why I'm leaving the floor (retail work). They probably think I have a case of the runs or that I just pee a lot lately lol. Anyway, I know that my symptoms are normal for a first OB and that work is just aggravating them. I had to tell one of my managers that I have a chronic health condition that will make me sick because I had to sit down because of the dizziness. I could barely do a 4-hour shift. Tomorrow my shift is 7.5 hours. I kind of just want to go to urgent care to get an excuse to call off. Ugh. The lesions don't really bother me too much. It's all of the other symptoms! I just started the antivirals, so I don't think my body has had enough time to really start recovering yet. Does anyone have any advice as to what to say to my managers to get them to understand without being too specific? Or at least how to tough it out? I can handle a fair amount of pain, but I'm such a wimp with dizziness and nausea.

Sorry, double post! Stupid phone :P

Hi, there! Welcome to the forums! I'm newly diagnosed as well (yesterday), so I'm not sure how well I can help you out but I'd like to try! I figure it may be helpful for you to have someone who was recently diagnosed offer some insight in addition to those who have known for years and years. Generally, the first outbreak is the worst. There are exceptions to every rule. My mom is also positive (diagnosed 2012, likely had it since ~2004). Her first outbreak was pretty bad. Since then, she has only had one other (mild) outbreak. That's a personal decision. There's not really a need to take meds all the time (suppressive therapy) unless 1) you have severe recurring outbreaks or 2) you have a negative partner. Personally, my boyfriend's status will make the decision as to whether or not I choose suppressive therapy. If he doesn't have it, I certainly will start suppressive therapy. If he does have it, then I will take it as needed unless I have frequent outbreaks. I work 3 jobs on top of being a full-time university student, so I can't really afford to be miserable with an outbreak :P So far I've disclosed to my boyfriend, mother, and close cousin. My boyfriend knew it was a possibility be we (me, him, and the doctor) didn't think I had it. He was really wonderful. He's been nothing but supportive and catering to my every whim. I have bad hip/nerve pain with my outbreak, so walking is painful. He tries to encourage me to do things on my own because he can't be fetching things for me 24/7, but he understands I may not feel like walking to the kitchen to get something. He's not scared about having H. He hasn't had any symptoms, so he may not have it. He says he won't leave if he's negative (which I think is easier said than done). As for my mom, she's obviously very supportive because she has it as well. She's given me some insight as to what to expect, how to manage, etc. My cousin doesn't think any less of me. She loves me just the same. I shared some stats and facts with her and told her that she doesn't need to worry about sharing bath towels or anything like that with me. She said that I really opened her eyes to how painful it can be. Everyone suspects your genitals to hurt, but she had no idea that severe nerve pain was possible. I think that nerve pain is one of the more uncommon symptoms; though, I haven't done much research into it. Anyway, I hope I helped! If you have any questions, concerns, comments, feel free to reply or send me a private message!

@WCSDancer2010 I had a pelvic exam Monday and she didn't see anything, but maybe it was too soon. I don't have any vaginal pain. I'd imagine I would if I had a bunch of blisters in there! I keep forgetting I still have the bacterial infection as well. I started getting bacterial and yeast infections a lot when I started NuvaRing. I would have a lot of discharge with those, but not this much. This is super thin and clear. It's like blood plasma almost. I'm pretty sure it's coming from my vagina, as it feels like blood coming out during my period (sorry for the grossness/TMI lol). I'm sure my body is just freaking out right now trying to rid itself of everything. I'll go back Monday if things don't improve. My mom also has H. She had a lot of discharge during her first OB. I remember her talking about needing to wear pads. I've been wearing them because I was on my period. We've had pretty much the exact same OB process, mine is just less severe pain-wise with the ulcers and she didn't have hip pain. It would just be nice to not have any discharge so everything could dry out and heal! I may have to invest in some tea tree oil.

I just found out yesterday and told my mom this morning. My situation is probably different, though, because she was actually diagnosed almost 2 years ago (likely had it since ~2004 dormantly). I was planning on waiting, as my step dad has cancer and starts chemo Monday. I didn't want to add to the stress, but she texted me asking how my appointment went (she knew I had a UTI and bacterial vaginosis but was still having problems). I was scared she would be disappointed in me because she told me over and over again to be extra careful because she of all people knows that STDs do not discriminate, anyone can get them. As Dancer said, only you can answer this. It may be nice to have someone close to you to lean on. They won't love you any less. If they don't understand H, they may be disappointed, but you can always enlighten them :P

@WCSDancer2010 Well, I think it's too late to avoid spreading. I think I have it in my crack, ugh. It hurts to wipe back there, but I'm also prone to anal fissures. With all of the irritation that may be what it is. I just don't have a way to look back there with my compact mirror. I can have my boyfriend go on an examining spree when he gets home lol. I have a lot of discharge - enough that it soaked through an overnight pad, ugh. That's the second most uncomfortable thing behind the hip pain. I don't know if it's vaginal discharge or from the lesions. It may be because I just finished my period, but it was a really weird period - light pink after a few days, much shorter (if shorter periods are a result of an OB, I'll take that positive!). All of it is clear with some blood here and there. It seems serous, making me think it's from the lesions, but I can't imagine THAT much discharge is coming from them. Maybe it's from me starting the antiviral, like my immune system is starting to combat the virus and that's my vagina's way of trying to flush it all out? I don't know. I feel pretty dry now since my shower an hour or two ago.

@WCSDancer2010 Thank you so much for all of the info and links! Just a swab. The doctor didn't think it was herpes so she didn't bother with any specific testing. I'll go get a blood test when I can, despite my horrible fear of needles. It's probably HSV2, though. I think only my boyfriend has performed oral on me, and he hasn't ever had a cold sore (though I'm sure HSV1 can be dormant as well). Guy #4 may have performed oral on me, but that was almost a year ago, so I can't quite remember. Asking him if he's ever had a cold sore may be a little suspicious after I asked about past partners a few days ago lol. I came up with an allibi that I had been asked at the clinic if I knew my partners' past histories as routine STD testing questions when I had to go in for the UTI. I started the antivirals last night. It's starting to feel a little better, but the doctor said it may be a slow start since this outbreak has gone untreated for at least 5 days. I kept waking up last night from the pain until I finally took some Tylenol. I didn't want to take any so that I'd know exactly how bad it could get for future reference and comparing with future OBs if I have any. Is there any way to prevent the virus from spreading to other parts of my body, especially during an OB? I'm worried about getting it on my butt - that would make sitting literally a pain! Maybe the creams act as a barrier?

Whew! Today has certainly been a roller coaster, as many of you have talked about in your posts. Just a little bit of background: I am a 19-year-old female who has been in an on-again, off-again relationship with the same guy for over a year. We have actually been back together for exactly 10 months today, and things in our relationship have improved so much since we were going through all of that break-up-and-get-back-together-a-day-later drama. I lost my virginity to him. I have rarely used condoms, as I have a latex allergy, and have only used them when I've done something wrong with my birth control. I've tried multiple non-latex condoms, and they've all just hurt, even with lubricant. If you have any recommendations, please let me know! Anyway, we were completely broken up for a period of a few months last year. In the meantime I met a few guys who caught my eye, and his family pressured him to get back together with his previous girlfriend. He has sworn up and down that he did not have sex with any new partners during the period that we were broken up, as he had already obviously had sex with his previous girlfriend before me. My boyfriend has had sex with more girls than I would prefer, but I'm pretty sure I didn't get it from him. He had an ingrown pubic hair back in April that abscessed, so he had several STD tests done. I know that herpes isn't typically tested for, but I would imagine that the hospital would have considered that a possibility in this case. I don't think my boyfriend ever really asked what he was tested for because everything came back negative. The first guy I had sex with post-breakup was a real charmer, but looking back I realize that he was quite sketchy. I developed feelings for him but was too upset over the breakup still to commit to anything and knew that it would only be a rebound relationship. I cut off contact when he asked if I was cool with having sex with all of his roommates. He told me that he had sex with 6 or 7 girls before me. I believe that he said he had only not used condoms with 1 or 2 of them (serious girlfriends). However, now I highly doubt what he said. The next guy I met was someone visiting a guy who lived on my dorm floor. There's no easy or non-awkward way to say this, so I'll just come out and say it: He raped me. I know very, very little about him as a person, let alone his sexual history. My guess is that it's unlikely that I got it from him. He wore a condom (how considerate, right?), but I'm not sure if he kept it on the entire time. He was able to get it on so quickly, I'm sure he could've just as easily taken it off without me noticing in all of the fear and shock. So after that, I went off the deep end and became very self-destructive. The first guy to show me any attention, I flung myself at. Definitely not a wise decision, but I'm sure I'm not the first girl to do that in that situation. We had sex pretty fast into our "relationship." We had feelings for each other and almost dated, but I think that my self-destruction and neediness at the time were too much for him to deal with. He told me the other day that he had sex with around 13 girls, about 5 of which he did not use condoms with. I don't recall the number being anywhere near that high. Fast forward to this past Monday: I had UTI symptoms (burning, itching, frequent urination, etc.) and went to a Planned Parenthood clinic. I did indeed have a UTI and a bacterial infection (I started getting BV and yeast infections frequently once I switched to NuvaRing). I had noticed a pimple-like bump before the visit and brought that up. The doctor said that it was likely an infected sebaceous gland, but she decided to take a swab just to be on the safe side. After finishing my antibiotics for the UTI, my symptoms had gotten a little better but gradually began coming back. I called back and was told to come in again. As I was sitting in the examination room, my results came back in. Positive. It hurt, even though I half-suspected it after all of the research I did and more bumps and lesions appearing. Not knowing for sure what was going on with me is worse than knowing. I've started my antiviral, and my boyfriend will be getting tested on Monday. He's very supportive. He's not angry with me. He says that he's going to stay with me even if he's negative (which is probably unlikely with the amount of times we've had unprotected sex). To me, I think that would be much easier said than done because that's an entire life of worrying about infection. He feels that it isn't really that big of a deal because it's not like it's a death sentence. The lesions themselves aren't that bad. There was a day or two where walking hurt, but it's all manageable. What's not manageable is this muscle/bone/nerve/whatever it is pain. It feels like someone has hit my hip with a sledgehammer. It's so painful! This forum has already helped me so much. I would like to say thank you. Any advice, tips, support, and the like will be much appreciated! I could use some advice on telling the last guy. Unless he gave it to me, I would have exposed him. We know a lot of mutual people back in our hometowns. I'm terrified he will tell someone and everyone will find out. He's not a jerk by any means, but people do dumb things when they're scared.