ivoryrain

I was diagnosed in late October, but I believe that I contracted H about a year or so ago. I should obviously have some antibodies built up after 3-14 months. Due to what I believe is an allergy to my boyfriend's semen, I prefer him to pull out. What are the chances that H will spread to my stomach or leg, for example, if his semen lands there? Of course, I wipe it off and get in the shower within a few minutes. I assume that the risk is very minimal, but I just want some clarification.

The first bump that I had had a little bit of blood in it. It looked like a pimple, so I popped it and a whitish-yellow fluid with a tinge of blood came out. I had that one swabbed, so I know for sure that it was herpes. I don't know if the blood was IN the bump or if the pressure from me squeezing it forced blood out, though.

I know this is from last month, but I just wanted to throw in my two cents, as one of my jobs is in an optometry office. Ocular HSV-1 is common in children. It can still happen to adults, but it's much less common since we have better basic hygiene skills and more antibodies against the virus than children. As for ocular HSV-2, I'm not sure how common it is. I would assume it would be even less common. Many of the symptoms overlap with other conditions such as pink eye, so the only way to know for sure is to see a doctor.

Quite frankly, unless you have an OB and have a sore swabbed, there is no way to tell where the virus is. You could have it orally, genitally, or both. It's always tricky when you're positive for only HSV-1. Personally, I think it's best to disclose to be on the safe side. I would just say something along the lines of "I'm positive for HSV-1, the simplex that generally causes oral cold sores, but I don't know if I have it orally, genitally, or both because I have never had an outbreak. Even if it is oral, I can still transmit it through oral sex, even without any outbreaks. I just wanted you to know so you can make an informed decision regarding your health." Most people have no idea that it can be transmitted mouth to genitals, so I would include that part to make sure that your potential partner(s) is/are informed.

@MalicePalace Thank you :P You'll get there, too, in your own time! I lost my virginity to him in June 2013. We dated until October and broke up. I experienced burning during this time as well. I had sex with other people while we were broken up without any burning that I can recall. I did have some burning after I was raped, which I (and my doctor) believe was an allergic reaction to the latex condom. It felt very similar to the kind of burn that I feel after sex with my boyfriend, just not as intense. My boyfriend and I got back together in December 2013, and I experienced the burning once again. It's possible that he's causing abrasions because he's on the large side. It stings/burns a bit during penetration if we haven't had sex in a while, so perhaps that's the culprit and the semen just irritates it. However, even when it doesn't hurt during penetration and sex isn't rough, it still burns :( sooo idk

Does H usually cause burning after sex? I suspect I may be allergic to my boyfriend's semen, but I wanted to rule out H before I ask my doctor about it. The burning starts within a minute or two max and can last anywhere from a few minutes to hours. Showering makes it a little better. Obviously, none of you can diagnose me, but I was wondering if this was common with H. It's the worst when my boyfriend finishes inside me (don't worry - I take my birth control religiously lol), which is what makes me suspect an allergy. There's not much burning if he pulls out/uses condoms. Plus, I've only experienced this with him, but I don't know who I got H from or when, so that may not be relevant. Extra lube doesn't make that much of a difference, so I don't think it's much of a friction thing. On the plus side, we finally had sex without me giving a detailed status report about suspicious bumps and I didn't even think about having H for once :D

Well, a UTI can be more dangerous than H, as it can move up into the urinary tract and cause kidney infections, which can be very serious. That may be why the clinic was more concerned about that. Is she on antivirals? When I was diagnosed, I had a UTI and a few other infections. Since everything was so inflamed, the antibiotics didn't help as much as they should. I had to take a second course, and once the antivirals started working, I started to feel much better. The first OB can last weeks without antivirals, so she should look into that if she's not on them. I'm pretty sure you can take a bath with a UTI ha. She just needs to make sure everything gets dried off properly to prevent further irritation. If she feels that bad, I think she should go to the hospital, to be honest...

As others stated, trich isn't included in routine screenings. Screenings usually include chlamydia, gonorrhea (women 25 and under and other at-risk populations), and HIV (at-risk populations). Women 21 and over have pap smears to check for abnormal cervical cells. Syphillis is included for certain at-risk populations, including pregnant women. Here is a link to the CDC's routine screening FAQ: http://www.cdc.gov/std/treatment/2010/qanda/screening.htm

You go @Jessika! I wanted to share some information but wanted to reach a more general audience where a lot of people may see it. I didn't want to do Facebook because that would be limited to just my friends (and while I don't mind my friends knowing about my status, I know that people will want to know how I think I may have contracted it, which is likely either from rape or the guy I had sex with shortly after to prove that sex could be "normal" again, and I'm not ready to reveal THAT part just yet). So I decided on reddit, even though redditors aren't always the nicest people lol. I figured it would be good prep for possible negative reactions. Anyway, everyone was really nice, actually! They asked questions, and one person even said he and his fiance were going to be tested to know their status since they were unaware that it likely wasn't included in the routine testing they had before. Another person asked since H isn't really a big deal medically and that it can still be transmitted while taking all of the precautions if they should even really be that concerned about contracting it. I replied that obviously no one wants to contract any type of STD but that it's certainly not a big deal at all if you do contract H. Other than people debating statistics, it went really well :)

Haha thanks everyone! Especially @seeker for the man's perspective of not wanting to know the details haha. I suppose it's that that's killing the mood - not H itself - oops. I was going to post about the porn industry, too. I read that they don't even have to disclose H in their contracts because pretty much everyone has it. It probably sucks that H keeps them from making money during OBs, though, but I'm sure most of them (or at least the lesser known performers who don't make as much money) have non-adult-film jobs, too.

He may have known he had oral HSV-1 but didn't disclose because he didn't know it could be transmitted from the mouth to genitals. It's just not a very well known fact. I have yet to tell someone about that who already knew that it was possible to contact HSV-1 genitally from oral sex. Frankly, there is almost no way to prove/know for sure if he knew, so there's no point in dwelling on it. Things will get easier with time. It's not the end of the world. My best suggestion is to read around on here, educate yourself, etc. It's a lot less scary when you know what H really is and isn't.

I'm always interested in the psychology and sociology behind things, so I was wondering why are STIs so stigmatized when they just come with the territory? We don't stigmatize other common infectious diseases that are contracted through close contact. I stumbled across this article (link below). One of the things that really stood out to me was this: "There are anywhere from 56-65 million (yes, million) people living in the U.S. with an incurable sexually transmitted disease. Keep in mind, those include only the tested and documented cases [...]. You can imagine, then, how many more undocumented cases of STDs there must be. To give some perspective, that also means there are more people living in the U.S. with an STI/STD than the entire black (42 million) or hispanic (50 million) populations. And, lastly, 1 in 2 Americans will have contracted an STI by the time they reach the age of 25 – again, this is not including the plethora of STIs not presently being reported." Talk about not being alone! I read somewhere that new STIs are repirted almost as often as the common cold - can't remember if it's in this article or not. This really made me feel better about having an incurable STI, even if it's not specifically about H. There are actually some really interesting research articles about STIs and stigma for anyone who is interested. http://www.thestdproject.com/stds-scarlet-letter-std-stigma/

I'm pretty sure (like 99% sure) she can still get genital HSV-1/you can still get HSV-2, but it may be less likely; however, one of the more veteran posters will drop in and clear this up for you. She can get it orally as well, but assuming she is in her 40s as well, she has likely already been exposed in that respect. Oral HSV-2 is very rare; 1% of oral H cases are HSV-2. The virus stays in the location in which you contracted it, UNLESS you autoinoculatw yourself. Let's say you contract HSV-2 from intercourse with her. The virus will only be on your genitals (or anywhere in the boxer short region most likely, depending exactly where the virus found its way to you). It will stay there unless you were to, for example, scratch a sore and then touch another part of your body that has a break in the skin or something. As time goes on and you build up antibodies, there is less chance of autoinoculation. Anywaayyy...

My boyfriend and I are both positive. He is asymptomatic and had a blood test, so I worry that his numbers may have been under 3.5 and a false positive. Realistically, however, after being together for a year and rarely using condoms, it was likely accurate. He didn't see the numbers - Planned Parenthood just called him with his results - but he doesn't care that there's a false positive potential. I struggle to accept his decision in the off chance that he hasn't contracted H yet. So basically, whenever we go to have sexy times, I inform him of the exact state of my vagina, which obviously kills the mood lol. I inform him of every suspicious bump, even though I know I can't give him "more" of the virus/cause him to become symptomatic. Then my paranoia kills the moment, and we're both frustrated. I can't help it, though. I feel like I'm hiding H from him if I don't give him a complete status report, even though he obviously knows I have H and occasional OBs. Is this word vomit something that will get better with time or is this something that I will have to consciously work on? I did a little better last time by just saying, "Please go a bit easier than usual because I noticed a place that may be a blister forming, but I'm not completely sure." I know that I definitely need to work on accepting HIS decisions about HIS health. I just want normal sexy times back :(

@Beachdude1984 @WCSDancer2010 @seeker I don't have his phone number or address or anything. I know very little about him - just where he goes to college and the like. I only found out his last name when I was going through a mutual friend's Facebook friends list. Perhaps his college has a student directory on its website and I could send an anonymous email. Anyway, I like dancer's idea bout investing the energy in education and prevention. I'm quite active in my college's sexual assault support groups and prevention committees; we rarely talk about contracting STDs from sexual assault, and we should definitely start.

The guy who I thought I contracted H from was negative (showed me the results, and I obviously look like an asshole now, even though I never outright accused him of giving it to me). That obviously ups the odds that I got it from my rapist. I obviously don't want to contact him and I really don't care to know if he gave it to me (or to know who it was in general), but I worry that if he has it he's infecting others. It's already hard enough on me because I didn't press charges and know he's probably raping other girls, but then the fact that he may be giving H to these poor girls/consensual partners, if he has any, is almost too much. Granted, someone who will rape another person probably doesn't give two shits about spreading H. Maybe he doesn't know he has it and that would stop him from raping other girls because knowingly spreading an STD is another crime here/giving someone an STD is more evidence. Wishful thinking, right? Anyway, I thought I could maybe make a Facebook profile under a pseudonym with no identifiable information and say something along the lines of, "I'm someone you had sex with [avoid saying rape, even though making it sound consensual makes my stomach churn, in case I'm the only person he has raped, thus revealing my identity...god only knows what he'd do then...], but I wish to remain anonymous - I tested positive for H and chlamydia, so you should probably get checked out." Short and sweet and then close the account forever. Is there anyone who has been in the same situation? I'd also appreciate input from anyone in general as well.

I know this is a stretch as only .05% of the population has narcolepsy, but if there are any fellow narcoleptics out there (or anyone who wants to take a stab at this), I was curious as to whether narcolepsy can affect H. I know that things such as lack of sleep can trigger OBs. I assume because lack of sleep weakens the immune system. And is this lack of sleep as in below the recommended nightly sleep (8-10 hours) or just not feeling rested? Because, believe me if you're not a narcoleptic, you NEVER feel rested lol. I have narcolepsy with cataplexy, which is likely an autoimmune form of narcolepsy. So is my immune system likely compromised in general or is it only compromised in the fact that it destroys hypocretins? If it is the former, then it would make sense that someone who has narcolepsy with cataplexy would have more severe/frequent OBs. Personally, I think I have a mild case of H so far (knock on wood), but I tend to be the exception rather than the rule (I mean the odds of developing narcolepsy in itself is kind of rare lol :P). I know that likely none of you are doctors specializing in narcolepsy, but I just wonder if maybe someone knows something about narcolepsy/autoimmune disorders and H.

You don't need to worry about spreading the virus to your son, as Dancer has already said. It would be very difficult to transfer it by sharing towels, etc. Personally, I'm much more worried about autoinoculating other parts of my body than transmitting it to someone else. As for dormancy, my mother had the virus about 8 years before her first OB. I believe I had it for about 10-11 months before mine, and I even likely have a compromised immune system due to having narcolepsy. Basically what I'm saying is, whoever gave it to whom was likely not cheating, so do NOT accuse her of it lol. I hope you find some solace here. H really isn't that bad after the initial shock :P

Please, leave him. I know that this is easier said than done. You are worthy of love. I am positive that you are a beautiful person inside and out, but I can tell that you are hurting. I'm going to share wih you what my mother told me once, "I will never let the fact that I have herpes keep me in a bad relationship...and you shouldn't either. I love myself too much to settle for someone who doesn't treat me like I deserve to be treated just because I/we have herpes...and you should love yourself that much, too." You can still find Prince Charming. H has a good way of weeding out the wrong people for you. Anyone who doesn't accept you as you are or puts you down because you have a common skin condition does not deserve you. If you ever need to talk privately, please send me a private message. I was raped a little over a year ago and sexually assaulted several times as a younger teen. I unfortunately have plenty of experience dealing with the recovery process and I'm always willing to be a shoulder to lean on or to offer advice. There are also some wonderful books that helped me in my darkest hours: The Year After, Dear Sister, and Letters to Survivors. Stay strong *hugs*

Personally, I think if he takes off the condom without your permission, that already says a lot about his character. He should respect your choices. Anyway, you should definitely tell him. He's probably confused because he likely has no idea he has it. Men are less likely than women to have symptoms, and they are usually less severe if they do. Sorry, ladies get the shit end of the herpes stick :( As for your parents, it's your decision, but I recommend it, especially if you are still on their insurance - they will see EOBs, which won't usually say anything specific (i.e. numerical codes with a vague explanation: "99213 limited/established visit" or something like that).

I told one of the assistant managers at my work, as she is also a friend and I trust her. If there's someone you're comfortable enough with, it could potentially give you peace of mind to let someone know in case you have an OB and don't feel well. I was really sick from my first one at work but couldn't leave, so I finally told my friend a few weeks later in case it ever gets that bad again. I had tingling for a few weeks. Never led to an OB. I think I have sensitive skin/nerves though because even before H/when I was little, just my underwear rubbing against my skin could cause that feeling (less intensely). As Dancer said, a script may give you some peace of mind. Just take it easy :)

How can you tell the difference between a sore caused by H and a sore caused by, for example, chafing? I have a single sore that did not start as a blister to my knowledge and is in a spot where I didn't have one with my first OB. No prodromes, just mild itching. Doesn't hurt when I pee, but it's on the side of my labia minora, so I don't know if it's just up high enough to avoid any contact. Anyway, I had been scratching/rubbing a little because I had/have a yeast and BV infection. The itching is much better after taking antibiotics. So basically, I don't know if the sore was caused by my scratching/rubbing or if I coincidentally had a mild OB at the same time. It still has not healed (about a week), so I may take antivirals to speed it up just in case. I just don't want to take them if I don't have to because it doesn't bother me, but I of course want the sore to heal asap no matter the cause.

I'm pretty sure that's incorrect, that HSV1 CAN spread from genitals to genitals. But one of the veterans would know better

Autoinoculation is more likely during the first few months until your body has enough antibodies. Over time, the fear goes away. I've known for almost 2 months now and don't really worry too much anymore. I do bite my fingernails, so I haven't used my bare fingers to masturbate just in case I've bitten one too low. Even just a piece of folded tissue between your skin and fingers may help ease your fear (assuming you're a girl - otherwise that may not work lol). Really you only need suppressive therapy if you have bad/frequent OBs or if your partner is negative. Personally, I don't do it because my boyfriend is positive and Aciclovir makes my hair (eyebrows and eyelashes at least) fall out a little. Plus, it's not really the best thing for your body. However, it is a personal decision that only you can make. Episodically, you should start meds as soon as you feel a prodrome, which will take time for you to learn.

Wait until you know for sure. I come from a small town and was scared as well, especially because we have mutual friendsand know a lot of the same people obviously. If it's any consolation, mine were all extremely cool about it when I thought they wouldn't be. Think about it this way - they probably won't say anything to anyone because they know there is a stigma and won't want to risk being stigmatized as well...as terrible as that is. When you get your results, let us know and we'll be happy to help!