Marie14

26

This is interesting because being newly diagnosed I initially thought that women would be more understanding than men. It is interesting that you think the opposite. I have told one man since I was diagnosed and he does not want a sexual relationship with me and that is okay. We are still good friends. I guess I can't give you much input I just thought it was interesting that we both thought the opposite.

I just got diagnosed and for the first few weeks all I did was cry. Then I realized that life is beautiful and amazing and I find it just gets more extraordinary everyday. So you have a skin condition that is contagious ... shit happens. No one gets out alive. It doesn't change anything about you. We are here for a limited amount of time and I am going to enjoy every second of it. I will continue to live my life as I had been before ... I will have to disclose to future partners and that is okay. In the grand scheme of life this is minor and I will shout it from the roof tops because there is nothing to be ashamed of. I think the thing that helped me was the fact that this virus is very common and in most cases mildly annoying. It is the emotional hell that is the worst part. You have control over that. You have control how you see herpes, and everything else in your life. It sucks sometimes ... but life sucks sometimes ... it is okay. Try not to dwell on things that you cannot change and make the most out of everyday. Don't let this hold you back in life. Herpes does not define you.

@E9507 Chin up. I just got diagnosed a few months ago and even though I didn't get terrible flu symptoms I had constant symptoms ... I thought it was never going to go away, but after two months things have started to calm down. It will calm down. You are going to be fine. :)

I completely agree that no matter what the circumstance a person needs to be given a choice. Just because it is safer using condoms and taking antivirals it does not mean that it won't happen. A person who has herpes has an obligation to disclose because we have something that can drastically affect someone else's life. I was not given that choice. The man who gave this to me knew he had it and he didn't tell me until I ended up with my first outbreak. I have learned to forgive him because to be angry about something I cannot change is useless and a waste of energy. I have had herpes for about two months now ... it has been hard because I ride horses for a living and it is painful when I get an outbreak. But, I am in a good place with this. I know it is not going to change my life in anyway, except that I will have to disclose to new partners. And I WILL disclose regardless if it is for one night or forever because I know what it is like to not have a choice.

This is the first time I have heard of Herpatic Encephalitis. Can you get this after your initial infection?

I have been tested for pretty much everything else as well due to my symptoms, and have been given antibiotics just is case so I am fairly confident that the symptoms are from Herpes. I am glad that other people have experienced the prolonged symptoms without the actual sores, I was getting really worried that it just wouldn't go away. :)

I am glad other people are having this happen. I thought that I was supposed to get an outbreak then it would go away until I got another one. No one told me that this could happen. I am not sure what to do ... it is getting me down. I am okay with the fact that I have herpes, but I want a normal life and a normal sex life. I am not sure how to do that if I constantly have symptoms. Is this going to go away?

I have had this for a little over a month ... I have had two actual outbreaks, but there is always tingling, some itching, and it feels raw or sore. Is this normal? When will this go away ... it is driving me nuts. I do not know how to cope with this. It would be fine if I had an outbreak and it went away ... but this just doesn't go away. There was about five days that I felt good, so i had sex with someone (the guy who gave it to me), thinking yayyy finally, but the next morning the tingling came right back. Can sex trigger an outbreak? Will this eventually calm down? Had this happened to other people? I just want to feel physically normal again. Ughhhh

@WSDancer2010 I am new to this and going through my second outbreak ... So I have a question about the above comment ... I am assuming autoinnoculate means spreading it to other areas, but where else can it spread? I thought it was oral and genital?

Thank you. I was really worried about losing my job because it is pretty impossible to ride while have an OB. I have been told that it gets milder ... I just have to get through the first couple of times.

That you so much for all of your kind words. Today is a much better day for me ... but my emotions seem to be fluctuating a lot since they told me I might have this. I chose to be happy because life is to short to not be. I am sure there will be hard times though.

Thank you ... I can't imagine a life without chocolate so I am happy it seems to be individual triggers. :)

Hi everyone. I just got diagnosed yesterday, even though I was pretty sure I have had it for about a month. I would like to be able to meet people who have it ... male or female. It would be nice to share stories and have someone to talk to. I am really worried about dating and how to go about doing that. :) I live in NH. Thank you ... this is a great idea and I am happy to have found this site.

@risingsun, It is hard to navigate. I am sure it gets easier ... its it bad that I feel like disclosing through a text message. :( I have herpes ... thanks for dinner. This is just so unfamiliar and discouraging. I don't even know ... I kinda want to put it on my facebook and keep shouting it because then it's out there and I don't have to tell anyone. I won't do that, but that is my general feeling.

You guys are really great. I am glad I found this website. :) I would like to believe him, but I also feel like I would be settling because he gave me herpes. I feel like I should just stay with him because it would be easier. I keep thinking that if it works out then I wouldn't have to disclose. But I don't want to settle ... but really ... in reality ... how many guys would take the risk? I have known that I have probably had it for a month. And now if anyone even comes close to hitting on me, or complimenting me, I feel guilty. I feel like I should tell them because they wouldn't do that if they knew. I feel like I am lying. I don't know if these feelings are normal. When do you disclose to potential partners? When is too early?

We have still been in touch ... and he did apologize, but not very sincerely. I have talked to him about it, and he hasn't been very supportive. I get the feeling that he doesn't think that this is a big deal. And really it isn't but it is. If that makes sense. My issue with it is I wouldn't do this to someone else. I feel like he is dishonest ... and that worries me. Integrity is something I look for in a partner, and someone who considers my well-being.

I am really new to this. I was wondering what people do to prevent herpes outbreaks?

Hey there, So I am new to this whole herpes thing. :) I just tested positive yesterday, three months ago I was negative. I started seeing someone new and he was really nice and I liked him. I had talked to him about STDs and he told me he gets tested by the army. About a month after we began to have sex I went to the doctors for a UTI and she told me that I had herpes. I was terrified to tell this guy because it could have only have came from him and I didn't want to break that to someone, and I didn't want to worry him if it was actually nothing. So I blew him off for over a week, which was really mean, but the test took 13 days to come back. So I told him after eight days and I was really nervous and I felt bad because no one wants to tell someone that they might have this. The conversation took a turn when he replied with, "Yea you probably got that from me." He told me he got it from his ex who didn't know she had it, and didn't have symptoms ... then he told me that he didn't think you could get it if you weren't having an outbreak. He wasn't on antivirals, we didn't use protection every time. And I am just upset that he didn't disclose and that he didn't take any precautions to protect me. Anywho, the test came back negative. I thought it was most likely wrong though. I had my second outbreak a little over two weeks later, and this time it was pretty obvious. I went back to the doctors and got tested again. This time it tested positive. I ride horses for a living so if this keeps happening I will most likely have to leave my job and my apartment so this has been pretty stressful. I do not know if I should be mad at this guy ... let me rephrase that ... I am mad. Very mad, but I don't know if I should cut him a break and see where it goes. I feel like what he did show a lack of integrity. My other questions is when do you disclose. I feel like I am lying to people by continuing to talk to them without telling them. I feel like I should just get it out of the way in the beginning. I am not really sure how to date with this. I don't even know if that made sense.