bent_notbroken

Personally, I think you should use your own discretion. There is no defined wait time! I told disclosed less than a month into knowing the guy because like you, I felt like I was hiding something. He never batted a single eye about it. I'm still talking to the same guy and we haven't even had sex yet. I'm sure the supportive ladies (I call them the forum's fairy godmothers) are on here will give you great advise and help! Best of luck and keep us posted!

@LittleStar no bad reactions! all in all a great experience, given my anxiety over the herpes situation.

@LittleStar dooooo it! lol

Update: I had my wax done today!!! It wasn't terrible lol It did hurt, but I had a great girl who was super friendly and kept me talking. I took some OTC 30 minutes before I went, not sure if it helped but I got through it! I also doubled up on my surpressives yesterday into today. I don't see anything yet (I got it done at 10 this morning) and I don't feel any discomfort or tingles. We'll see what the next few days bring. Thanks for your help again ladies!

Guys I love this!!! Thanks so much for everyone's advise and input!!!!

@Leanne27 you are braver than me! I couldn't imagine doing it myself :/. Nonetheless I shall face my fears and do it! lol

@Serendipity1515 thank you! this is my 8th month post diagnosis, so you've given me some courage! As long as I can get past the pain I think I'll be fine.

So! I have been wanting to try a Brazilian wax forever. After getting the H in December I ruled that out. Here I am in a much better place than I was then and I'm exploring my options of trying one again. I know, there is a risk of triggering a breakout, simply because I don't know how my body will react. I guess this post is just to get some feedback on any ladies (or guys!) who have H and take that trip to Brazil every few weeks ;). I'm terrified, but I set my appointment for this Saturday and I'm gonna do it!! May I add I do take suppressive medication! Thanks for your help!

update: he called this morning to tell say good morning and we had a typical convo. I want to give him time to process it, so I didn't mention it or ask if he thought about what I said. I'm also a huge fan of having serious conversations in person when at all possible so id rather wait to talk about it again at that point. So far no changes tho :-)

I have type 2

Hey all! it's been a while, but I'm here to tell you about my first disclosure. Technically, it's my second disclosure, but the first one was telling the guy gave me herpes to begin with so I don't really count that one because I feel obligated to talk to him about that one. Long story short, I have been in a rocky relationship with my giver since being diagnosed last December. I know it's a safety crutch but it just been hard, as most of you know, to face that feeling of "forever alone". I met this guy and I've been talking to him for a little over a month. I've wondered when the right time to tell him would be and I just felt like I'd know when the time is right. He hasn't persuaded me for sex we typically hangout at the waterfront, go to the movies, sit on his roof and talk. He makes sexual texts but nothing harsh and if I didn't have herpes, I'm sure I'd respond to very well. I've been cautious at keeping our relationship in the tone of getting to know one another. Well last night we came from the movies, I dropped him off, and we ended up making out in the backseat of my tiny Elantra. I loved very moment of it. And while he thought nothing separated him from the prize but a maxi dress and some underwear, I knew from the moment we kissed I wouldn't go that far as my moral compass wouldn't allow it. On my way home in between composing my body temperature, I decided I wanted to tell him as soon as I could. Today he stopped by to see me and I decided to just blurt it out. I told him and even gave him a small bout of statistics. It seemed to go well. He hugged me before he left and even expressed an urge to slap me on the ass lol. He told me to call him when I get back cuz I'm going out. Even if I never hear from again, I couldn't have asked for a better person to disclose to. He didn't make me feel like some outcast lepered weirdo. I feel like such a weight has been lifted off me!! It feels so good and I have him to thank for this high I'm on. I'll keep you posted on whether I hear from him!

@Geminij I don't want you to jump to any conclusions just yet! I think the best thing for you both is if he gets tested and has a concrete diagnosis. I mean of course if he's had it before he would know, but at this point, it seems like your relationship would be on the line. Why put yourself through that before you have the facts? Don't feel guilty, you have nothing to hide. You have been so truthful and up front with him about so much, just keep reminding him of that. IF it helps and your feeling up to it, go get tested together. Stop those tears and move out of defense mode and put yourself on the offense. Be prepared for whatever comes next at this time in your relationship, good or bad. Good Luck!

Don't let one guy influence or change all the progress you made working on yourself. I know it's easier said than done, especially when we put our hope and lifeforce into wanting something to work. I see so much of myself in you, except your stronger and I want to get there too someday. You are worth it and deserve everything in this world, so don't let HSV or one small blip in the cosmic universe (that guy) change it. You have an apparent joy about you, don't let anyone tarnish it. You will be led to bigger and brighter things, that I can assure you of. You've got love and support here in NJ. Stay Strong!

Hey! I also have HSV2 (since December 2014) and like most of the people here, I kno what your going through! I'm 24 and I definitely thought I would miss out on enjoying the things ppl my age get to do! But this gives you a great excuse to really evaluate what you want out of life. While the circumstance were unfortunate, I really think you're doing an awesome job at growing from this. You're now making choices that benefit you, and let's face it, we ladies often fail to put ourselves first! No matter what you are still you! You've got a friend in NJ routing for you. If you ever need any extra support don't be afraid to reach out! Good Luck

Hey! I'm 24, F, from New Jersey. HSV2 positive since December 2014. Would love to make a friend in the East Coast (but I'm open to anywhere really) , male or female, around my age. Just want to build support.

Thank you guys so much for your input, it's really been a big help!

Thank you!

I'm sure there are a ton of discussions on this one, but for the sake of having a quick go to discussion to look back, I'll ask here. I have HSV2, diagnosed in December so I'm almost 5 months in the hole. I have had an outbreak every month with the exception of April (bless sweet April). Usually, my system involves recognizing my symptoms, hittin it up with some tea tree oil, and immediately calling for a refill of Valtrex (generic). Typically the OB lasts no longer than 4-5 days and I get better. They've been like a second period, if you will. Pesky, but quick to be on its way just as fast as it came. This May outbreak has been ...stubborn to say the least. For starters, I had two sore spots instead of just on: one near my labia(hooray for the pee stings) and another closer to the start of my thigh. I started the usual routine with optimism, but alas, here we are a week later and the spot near my thigh seems to want to set up shop for a little longer than anticipated. My valtrex ended days ago so I'm running on the fumes of what's left in my system. I still use the oil, but I'm going to pick up some Bactine as I've read good things. At this point they're just red sores so maybe the Bactine will give that extra pow to dry them out. Now I know because I'm so new to this that OBs are frequent at this point, but this current one is draining me. Things also have been iffy with my boyfriend who hasn't talked to me since I told him I was having an OB. He's not a very communicative(is that a real word) guy, so I let him be. He's usually not around when I have my OBs so this is the first time I've said, "hey, no fun time I'm having an OB." This guy is the one that gave me HSV and I often wonder if I stay in this relationship to avoid having to start anew. Alas a different subject for a different time. There is a guy I'm interested in, but I already feared rejection more than the boogeyman preH, I am not ready to meet with someone new yet. POINT IS! I'm really thinking about starting suppressive therapy and I want anyone's feedback on how it's work for them. I initially decided against it because I wanted my body to try this new journey on its own. with the exception of aiding during an OB. I also heard it's not good for your liver. But this current OB has me down in the dumps and I'm thinking next time I go in, I should talk to my Doc about starting it up.

I'm so happy to read this. I've hit a complete speed bump in every aspect of my life right now and the fact that I'm experiencing the most stubborn of outbreaks is only making it harder to climb out of the hole I dug up lol. To read acceptance makes me feel a bit better that maybe I can be accepted someday too.

Hi Everyone! I haven't posted but trust me I have been lurking and reading! I'm 5 months into this journey and I've had one outbreak every month. They never last more than 5 days. I pinpoint, I treat, and I get better. I'm currently experiencing what I hope will be my one outbreak of May and I've already called in my prescription. One thing I will say is I am completely unsure of what my triggers are! Is it my period coming that triggers? Stress, sex, chocolate, WHAT?! Its all been very inconsistent, but for right now I'm not too worried about it because no matter what triggers it, I always know when it's there.I whip out a mirror and locate the problem right away, DONT STALL PEOPLE. I will also say I've had the most sex since finding out about my HSV2 in April. It's been with the guy I received it from. Who knew I would find comfort in a man I was ready to put a hit on back in December? He did say he loved me and supported me, but I never thought five months later we'd still be around. Time heals all I suppose...well except for Herpes

@MissingMe it's so easy to allow the spirit to be broken, and trust me you are not alone! The most important fact is that you get back up, brush yourself off, and keep on pushing. Something I learned almost immediately after my diagnosis? You are your biggest fan. If you can't root for yourself and support yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? We are the same people we were before, we just have to take a little extra time on ourselves. A little extra care never hurt anybody

Hey guys! First off let me say, your shared stories are a constant beacon of light for me. All too often I find myself being pulled into a depressive void that is the dreaded H. You guys help me see there is hope and there is life after diagnosis. Moving on, I was diagnosed with HSV2 December 2014, so I'm very much a newbie. My initial outbreak...I wouldn't wish that on my worse enemy, but I got through it. Your tips on keeping dry, staying clean, and what combo of "magic" to use really helped me out. As I started to clear up, I began to fear the second coming of the H, as most people said, outbreaks can be pretty frequent when you're new to the game. Everything freaked me out, a tingle, and itch, if i felt warm, if i felt cold, if i was aroused, and the monthly visitor of course had me on edge. But alas, through all of those things...nothing. Just when I was starting to think...hey this may not be too bad, BOOM, outbreak. Now I wasn't to upset, because I saw it, I immediately began my anti-virals and doing everything I had done before. Now I'm only on day three, but it is nowhere near as bad as my first. Yes, there is discomfort, itch, tingling, but i can still walk and dance and work and more importantly, be myself. Amongst so many stories of suffering and misfortune with second outbreaks, I wanted to share my story, because I'm not doing great, but I'm surviving. More importantly I'm living. Don't let the H break your spirit or the amazing person you were before it, because hey: you are still that amazing person. <3

@WCSDancer2010 Thank YOU especially. You have truly been like a fairy godmother!

Hey everyone, I just got done telling my giver(which is what I will call him) that I he gave me the H. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders! I contracted HSV-2 from my ex last month and have been trying to reach him since December 26th to tell him. Today, after a positive follow up with my gyno regarding my first outbreak, I got up the courage to give him an ultimatum: see me in person by Wednesday or lose my number. and what do you know? he showed up. I was in no way going to give him this life-changing news via text or phone call and getting him to my house has been a task. Of course that made me think, he knew what was up. Turns out he thought I was going to tell him I was pregnant and had prepped himself for that talk. Anyway, onto the juicy bits. I started out on a light note; I gave him his Christmas gift, something I bought back when I thought I just had a sore hooha from a good time. Then I just said it. Heart racing, head pounding, palms sweating, and a serious frog stuck in my throat. But I did it. I honestly expected him to be screaming, cursing, and calling me every name in the book. But he didn't. He said he was at a loss for words and I couldn't blame him. He told me he loved me and supported me. I accepted that. I don't plan on hearing from him after today, after he lets it sink in. I'm jus glad I was able to influence and inform. In fact thanks to my own research and you guys I was even able to squash some myths he had about the H. I love him and I don't blame him. I went in that night with sex in the back of my mind as a part of the package deal. I enjoyed it...a lot. Just not the after math and the outbreak! I feel very much at piece and for that I am thankful.

@awagne1 looks like we are in this together. I too have never experienced any pain like this. Not even close. I went back to work today and it wasn't too bad. My leg has started feeling weird tho and I can't figure out if it's my new permanent virus or if I'm imagining it... @WCSDancer2010 THAT. is priceless.