janedoe

@hippyherpy The calculations assume iid. which is the same as rolling the same dice everytime. But when you have sex, you are NOT rolling the same dice... You might be shedding virus more on some days, other person might have a tear in his/her genitals, you might have rough sex, your immune system or your partner's immune system might be down when you are having sex... All these possibilities bumps up the transmission rate. So let's say your t.r is 0.04% but tomorrow it might be 1% etc. So, 1% transmission rate is sort of like an upper limit. It might be a good idea to disclose that upper limit.

Yeah, I say you had this for quite a while. Since you didn't have an OB all this time that means your body can control the virus very efficiently. No need to get paranoid. When you have an OB, you'll know. Don't stress yourself.

Btw I am taking probiotics to control the yeast infections that I am having after my diagnosis. I don't think they help with OBs but I no longer have stomach issues so I continue taking them. Also, vitamin D helps. I have anemia, I think that is why my body is having trouble controlling the virus.

Doctors at PP advised me to take the meds for the first 3 years. At the six months or a year mark I am gonna try again to stop (It has been only 2 months since my diagnosis). Good luck.

Antivirals and Vitamin B (all the B's) helped me with itching. I tried to stop taking the antivirals but itching came back so I continue taking it. Vitamin B + antivirals + lysine + probiotics + no stress = no itching for me.

When I asked the transmission rate per sex act question, I assumed that researchers assume a sex act as a discrete event like you did in your calculations. After some researching I concluded that they just assumed a continious probability distribution (I haven't read journal articles abt H but I am planing to) - that is why they cannot estimate a transmission rate per sex act (I was kind of wrong apparently). Your calculations are to the point (I have a B.S. in Mathematics), and they finally answer my question. Thanks for this. Seeing the calculations made me feel a lot better.

I had another disclosure. To a guy that I had casually dated a year ago. He was supportive but considering his lifestyle and age, he was suprisingly uneducated about the subject. He told me "I am in panic now. If it happened to you, it can happen to me." Duh. It can happen to anybody. I noticed that when you say the word herpes people expect a story of you being constantly contagious and in agony. When you tell them how the virus transmits, percentages and generally herpes being not big of a deal they relax considerably. I am one step closer to coming out of the herpes closet.

@Seeker1960 since March 2016. I am a newbie :)

I have temperature changes too. And some weird shivering on my back, close to my butt (not all over my body). The nerve pain I am having is managable without the pain killers but it is annoying. It is mostly in my legs. I am hoping things will come down a bit after the first six months. Then I am gonna try and stop taking the meds again. I will absolutely take it when I am in a relationship but if not, I dont wanna continue taking them cause they give me a bad headache. I hope you will feel better too. I was thinking abt me having oral herpes. I was so young when I got it, I honestly dont remember my first oral ob. Did I have this itchy feeling and nerve pain then too? It is essentially the same virus.

Hey welcome :) Wow, this is sth new for me. I haven't seen a H- person here. First of all, let me tell you this you are an amazing woman. I can't speak for other people but for me when I first got diagnosed, I immediately felt that I could never find love again. I felt dirty. After some time, the possibility of transmitting this to a partner and someone I love become a nightmare. He may have going through something similar. I think it will take some time but if you let him talk about this and you assure him that you love him and aware of the risk that you are taking, he will come around. He probably feels lonely and vulnerable. Sure there will be ups and downs about his diagnosis but if you be there for him, I believe that everything will work out. Just give him some time.

I called an Uber to today to get back to my home. As usual we started to chat about weather and the new places I should visit. I like chatting with Uber drivers cause they have this insider knowledge about the city and they always give me great recommendations to awesome restaurants. Anyway, he recommended a seafood place and I told him that I'll visit there. Then he started to flirt with me :) he was good looking but old and so not my type. I tought to myself I should find a polite way to let him down. The topic of the conversation changed, he asked me whether or not I liked living in my state and US (I am European). I told him I like it alot, that I can talk about anything and the people are nice here. He said he thinks people in MA are kind of rude and I should visit other parts of the country etc and continued to flirt with me. Then he asked me what have I been up to recently. At that point I decided to disclose to him. I figured what is the worst that can happen. Me: Yeah, I have been going out and visiting places but recent I had diagnosed with genital herpes. It sucks. His face froze. He didn't know what to say. I think it is partly because I shared sth so personal and also, talking about stis isn't something that you do normally. So, there was this awkward silence, then I started to laugh. Not a crazy laugh but a happy one. He mumbled and said "Isn't this bad?" I told him that I am taking antivirals and feeling better and while this is a bad thing, it is not that big of a deal; that you have sex and stis can happen. I told these with a normal voice, as if we are having a normal conversation about weather. He responded with " yeah, it is a bummer but like you said it is not so big of a deal, it is just an inconvenience. That is why I love Europeans, you are so open about everything. Nobody around here will admit that they have herpes." I said " why not? It is part of being human. It shouldn't be some big, dark secret." Then he gave me his card to call him and we changed the subject. I think he took this well because when I disclosed I was relaxed, not guilty or ashamed, I talked about it like how I usually talk about weather, with a normal voice. What he said made me realize that, keeping herpes like a secret is making me sick. I am not ashamed that I had sex and I am not ashamed that I have herpes. Shit happens. Funny thing is I am not that European. While I am so open minded about everything, my country is close to Middle East and having sex is a taboo. I was expected to save my virginity to my husband. Young people in my country have sex but we don't talk about it openly. I didn't have a sex education, I had to research it. While in the US, people can talk about anything including sex but for some reason talking about sti's isn't normal. It just baffles me. And I refuse to feel guilty or dirty or ashamed for having herpes. I need to talk about this. So, I think I am gonna disclose to everyone I'll meet here :)

For the last two weeks, I am feeling started to feel strange symptoms. It was like my OB site is extremely cold but hurts at the same time. Minor twitches here and there. Last night the tip of my right toe started to feel like it was on fire. These symptoms show up at night generally, after I sit on a hard surface like a kitchen chair too long. Is it the nerve pain? It is always on my right extremities. When will this end? Also, I tired to stop taking virals and I started to itch all over my body... again. Like my initial OB. I foolishly thought that my body has a better understanding of this virus now. Well, I guess not. I was just hoping that everthing will go back to normal after two months. Yesterday I was feeling good and happy. Now, I have a sore throat too and I am thinking something bad is happening to me. Like I catched something worse. Ugh

Yep, that is right. And please don't worry about spreading this to your son. Chances are really really small. This virus requires direct skin to skin contact to transmit (and not just any skin - spreading this to "normal" skin is really hard too) and the virus dies shortly after it leaves the body. Soap and water works. So, there is no chance that you spread this to him. I am having anxiety issues as well about it, and I admit I am not a 100%. However I do get cold sores occasionally on my lip and while they are annoying, I don't make them a big deal so this doesn't need to be a big deal as well. This is just a cold sore. So, let's not blow this out of proportion. Everything is gonna be fine. Btw, about the discoloratuon issue, after I had an OB in my lip, sometimes it takes a while until my the effected area returns to normal colorwise. Also, sometimes the skin gets so dry, I have to moisturaize it. That is why I recommended almond oil but also coconut oil + tea tree oil works wonders as well. There is a lot of holistic medicine that you can apply. I can send you some links if you want and WCSDancer has a good knowledge about them as well. Also, the cream doesn't work for me as well, I suggest if you are not on the antivirals, use them when you are having an OB, sores will heal much much faster.

Maybe taking vit E will help your skin to heal faster. Also, you can apply almond oil to that area.

I hear you sister... I sometimes wish I had a penis; having a vagina requires a lot of work :) My blisters were like tiny paper cuts, no puss was oozing out of them. However, I had many ingrown hairs over the years, had 2 minor procedures to remove them. When they are forming they feel like sth was sucking my skin to the area, kind of like a tingling feeling. Maybe that bump is a congested lymph node (I am told it can happen) or an ingrown hair? If your symptoms are getting worse, I suggest that you have a CBC and get you hormone levels checked including your thyroid levels. Maybe, some underlying problem is aggraveting your herpes symptoms. I think there is a link btw vitamin D deficiency, diabetes, thyroid problems and vagina problems since they can distrupt your immune system.

Welcome to the club then :) Physical symtoms will get better in a month or two, don't worry. Keep supporting your immune system. I take vit B complex, probiotics, lysine and I eat lots of fruits and vegetables.

Hi and welcome, 1) Diarrhea.. yes, I had it for a long time like 2 weeks. Everything is "solid" now. I thought it is the side effect of the medicine (watch out for the headaches). Maybe, when our bodies are fighting the virus, it can't regulate our digestive system? Idk but it will stop. 2) Itching is normal too. The meds are working for me so no visible outbreaks but sometimes my right thigh and leg itch. Well I thought it is an itch but when I start to itch the area, I immediately notice that it is kind of a nerve pain (like feeling pins and needles along a line). I also felt itchy very very mildly on my arms, feet and neck. But as long as I take vitamin B, these symptoms are very mild. 3) I have the genital hsv 2 but I think I have read some people getting hsv on their throats, you should search the threads. Did the doctors swab the sores or did they run a blood test?

Hi, I am a newly diagnosed (a month and a half ago). Physical part of this doesn't bother me much but I need a buddy who can help me through the emotional part of my diagnosis. M/F, age and location doesn't matter. I just need someone who can lead the way to acceptance. Thanks.

Honey, you are kind of overreacting. In the case of Runners, I figured either they are scared abt catching herpes cause it doesn't align with their motives (in short they are the players) or they are literally in the mindset of "I am so careful who I chose to sleep with, nothing bad will happen to me". So by eliminating you, they "believe" that they eliminate the risk - we all know how fcked up this kind of thinking is. So, if you are looking for a LTR, runners shouldn't be on your list of interest either. If you are looking for a short term arrangement, I'd still want the other person to be educated and responsible which means that they don't make this a big deal. So, there you go. Aside from the fact that herpes will increase your # of rejections, it is not a game changer. Let's make a little projection: say you happen to be in a relationship with this guy and some serious illness like cancer comes into play. Do you honestly believe that this guy would stick around and support you? I don't think so. Why would you want someone in your life who is ready to run when something bad happens? This guy made you a favor. And honestly, running over hills abt herpes? It says sooo much abt his personality. At least, he is not willing to research this which means he is kind of a closeminded person and it is a deal breaker for me. Nobody wants this herpes thing to happen but it happened. Yes, some folk will reject you because of this but it has nothing to do with you, it is their business. Fear of rejection is not a healthy thing to have - it is an illogical mindset that can cause much bigger problems than herpes.

Give yourself some time to come to terms with your diagnosis. And who cares he blocked you... He is just one guy, there are many many guys who doesn't give a crap abt this. The thing you have to keep in mind that rejection happens no matter what. You can be the most beautiful and talented person in the world and still get rejected. Little perspective: I rejected so many guys before my diagnosis. My top ten reasons for rejecting someone: blonde hair, short legs ( looks weird), small penis ;), no college degree, nose -ear hair, weird fingernails, back hair, mustaches -beards, being short, not good at kissing. Aside from the college degree thing, there is nothing a guy can do abt these - it is genetics. It is almost the same thing as herpes. Don't take this guy seriously. His rejection doesn't represent anything.

If transmission rates "that" low, all I can say is wow... and it is right abt the fact that asymtomatic carriers are more likely to transmit the virus cause they don't know their symtoms (my case). This certainly gave me hope. I was throwing myself a pity party 5 mins ago...

Also my outbreak presented as tiny cuts as well - no blisters same as you. Tea tree oil is a good remedy - dilute it with water then wash your v. Also, my go to remedy for yeast infections are baking soda (same procedure - mix it w/ water then wash). Before taking the pill, you can try them out.

Well, I was suspecting this too but I thought I am paranoid. After my first and only outbreak I had a yeast infection that took a week to heal. Maybe it is coincidence maybe not but probiotics helped me a lot. Maybe OBs are causing the internal balance of a vagina to change?

I am taking acyclovir and my blisters cleared in a week. But like all meds they take some time. A week or 10 days maybe? I think valtrex tooks a bit longer than acyclovir tho. You can search the threats. I think 2Legit2Quit had a threat about this. In the meantime my advise to you is taking vitamins to boost your immune system. Eat healthy and exercise. Dont stress yourself too much. Also fresh ginger always helped me with my cold sores. You can try it.

I am so sorry this has happened to you. That person has some issues that is for sure. I advise you to get a legal opinion immediately. Like hippyherpy said this person knowingly caused you harm. Also, I think you are not helping anybody by isolating yourself. I have been sort of on the other side of this story (emotionally abusive bf for 4 year and, a psycho that stalked me) and I know how hard it is to trust someone after a trauma. What I realized is that crazies are everywhere! :) psychos like her feeds from negative emotions for some reason. So don't give her that satisfaction. You deserve to be happy. You have to screen people more carefully now but there are a lot of good and nice people out there. Big hugs to you...