Pattym

I love your attitude and sense of humour! It truly is about your attitude - this does not define us. It is if anything a skin condition that comes and goes. Unfortunately early on it is worse but definitely gets better over time. But gosh - that is an amazing attitude you have and kudos to you for sharing! Thank you so much - you made my day! PM

Hi @dave I admire your candor and spirt about the big "H". Gosh I have to admit I am a bit green with envy and wish I could share your mind space about this. I've had it for 16 years and still can't fight these feelings that I am somehow "tainted". My husband so doesn't care and has the same attitude as you- but he doesn't (seem) to have any symptoms (while after 12 years we both know he does). How did you get to this space - would you be willing to share?

@advice_seeker I understand how you feel- this has such an emotional impact. However, @spatx919 is right, the alcohol will only make the outbreaks more frequent and severe. I suggest seeking a therapist to help you get through this. You don't have to do it on your own and talking to friends or family may not be enough. I've had it for 16 years and am married with two kids. However I never dealt with my feelings and am only now getting help. It can be a big burden to try coping on your own- please dont. Take it from someone who suffered in silence for too long and now I am trying to clean up a mess I've made because of my damaged self esteem.

Hi there. I am a 46 year old female in Toronto. Happy to talk to you about living with herpes I have children, married. Life can go on. There are still a lot of feelings that may not go away but with help you can be happy and love yourself.

Hi VP. It will get better it sounds like your body is still getting used to the virus. Look at it this way- it forces us to live a healthy lifestyle now. I also live in the Toronto area and have had herpes for 16 years and two healthy kids. It's still hard for me some days but you will be fine and it weeds out the people you would be better off without anyway.

You are very welcome @Triumph. I can only imagine how conflicted you must feel; you love your partner but don't want to "catch" it. As the "carrier" it is stressful on my end because I am responsible for my partners health (physically, mentally and sexually) and while he has not (as far as we know) contracted it, it can potentially happen at any time. He does not care - he jokes that I am stuck with him now (lol) so I can't go anywhere. He knows the inner struggles I have with self-esteem because of this and I am the one who often feels like no one will ever love me. Vicious circle for all of us isn't it? Good luck to you and if I can tell you one thing, is it is "not that bad" to "have it". At its worst it is inconvenient, but if you both live a healthy lifestyle (diet, exercise, moderate drinking) outbreaks are few and far between. Its the social stigma that is the killer. Good luck and thank you for sharing. This is my first time in the 15 years since contracting actually starting to reach out for help and comrade so it was interesting to "read about it from the other side".

I had HSV before getting married and have been married now for 12 years. My husband has never contracted anything "down there" and we don't use condoms. Now he has also never had the blood test but we are just careful when I may be feeling something I tell him and we will use a condom. So far it is been ok. I have also had two healthy babies with no complications during pregnancy or childbirth (though I was so afraid during the whole time). So to @Triumph who is dating someone with herpes I think you are an amazing, kind man and wish you all the best. Thank you for loving us!