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Haha I'm actually front he Midwest! Does it say somewhere that I'm from Canada? :) Thanks for the advice. I will definitely set up a time to Skype if I feel the need to! :)

Thanks Adrial! :) I suppose cleaning up my diet and then treating myself to things, even sitting down for a nice cup of coffee, could be a start for me! I like my coffee sweet too ;) I don't think I'll ever be able to drink it black! I've been moping around on my computer a lot lately. I used to be the planner in my group of friends but ever since all this happened, I haven't been making plans. I still go out when invited, but I've become much more lazy with my activities. It's just hard because whenever I go out, no matter what i'm doing, the H word pops up in my head and instead of listening to my friends, I'm getting side tracked by my bummed out thoughts... I was watching your preview video for the seminar and you talked about stepping outside of the comfort zone. I guess that stepping out of my very small comfort zone could be a date with myself. Learning to be comfortable in my own skin and doing stuff on my own, instead of needing a buddy with me wherever I go can be a start. Going in to schedule that therapy session and to stop second guessing myself about getting more help could be another step :/

I was reading someone else's post that said that you need to have a relationship with yourself first before you can have a healthy relationship and be ready to be with someone else. I don't really know how to form this particular discussion but I guess I'm wondering how do YOU have a relationship with yourself? What kinda things do you do to make yourself feel special and happy? For me, I suppose one thing to work on would be to be more comfortable with my independence. What about you guys?

Thanks Katie :) Considering it's only been about two months, i think I'm doing pretty well. The part that sucks though is that it's always the first thing I think about when I wake up and it always sneaks into my thoughts when I'm out with friends or busy doing things. I get really upset about it when i'm on my period too. I guess I always get emotional at that time of the month haha but it really sucks. I'm going to see my doc in a few days to get more information and so she can help me find a therapist, because I'm having a hard time forgiving myself for that night. I just keep second guessing myself- "I think a therapist would be good for me" to "Why am I doing this? Won't it be weird talking about herpes with a total stranger?" I did see a counselor twice at my college clinic when I found out, but the woman and I like ran out of things to talk about, so I guess that's what I'm afraid of :(

I guess I'll start out by telling you a bit about myself. I'm 19 years old. I was always considered "the good girl," I think mostly because I am usually pretty shy. I just finished up my first year of college and I'm having a hard time forgiving myself for "that night," the night that I got H. So...That Night. April 5th, 2013. I was at a party. It was this guy's house that my friends and I all went to for Friday night parties. I had a lot to drink and I went into the owner's bedroom. The worst part? I remember I initiated things. The other part I hate is that if I had been sober or even just a little bit tipsy, none of the stuff I did with this guy would have happened. Maybe a little kissing, but nothing more. I hate myself SO much for this night. Hooking up with some guy at a party? That's not who I am! I was too caught up in trying new things that I didn't stop to think about the consequences. Funny how looking back, I feel like I just tossed aside any potential warning signs. So we're in his bedroom. I've never gone all the way with a guy so I told him right away that I didn't want to have sex. (Call me old fashioned, but I want to wait until my wedding night to have sex). Things were moving really fast though and I was really drunk so I didn't stop him. It felt good too, but I remember thinking while we were fooling around, that the next time I did this stuff with someone, I wanted it to be with someone I was dating or even married to. He went down on me..I kept pulling my pants up, for fear of someone walking in on us. This was the first time I've ever had a guy go down on me and look how it turned out.. Long story short, I went to the walk in clinic near my school and found out it was herpes. The doc called me a few days later to let me know it was HSV-1. She was kind of cold about it. Basically, "well it's HSV-1. see ya bye." i stopped her before she hung up to ask a few questions and then that was it. I couldn't believe that she was just delivering the info and then going to hang up and not even tell me any information. I have both oral and genital herpes. I don't know how common it is to have both, but that just bums me out even more. I guess I don't really know where I'm going with this story. Just to get it all out there, the reason I was so bummed is because, yeah it's herpes and nobody wants that, but because I was going to wait until I got married to go all the way with a guy and now that I've had a guy go down on me, I feel like it's a waste. I don't know how to explain it, but what if when I tell a guy my story, he gets confused or judgmental about the fact that yes, I'm waiting for marriage to go all the way, but wait, I've already had oral and when I had oral, I got herpes from some guy I barely knew at a freaking party. That's real great...I think I've mostly accepted the fact that I have herpes, but I just CAN'T seem to forgive myself for that night. It's not like I was dating someone when I got this; I was at a party with SOME GUY. Classy right?

Hey guys! I'm 19 and from the Midwest. I'm looking for an H buddy as well. I'm pretty new to this, about two months in. But I'm hear to listen and I am looking for someone to listen to me as well. Age and gender don't matter, just lookin for someone to talk to! Feel free to inbox me :)