scared about herpes & in need of a friend

[aiko2004]

Hi, Im on this site because i have no one to talk to. Im still in shock, ashamed, scared, hurt & every negative emotion in between. Long story short:

 

I fell in love & made the choice to have unprotected sex for the first time. Of course he told me he's clean & would never put my health in jeopardy... We've been intimate for about a month. This saturday i started feeling sick, by tuesday i was in excrutiating pain & had to go to planned parenthood; I honestly thought I had a Bartholin abscess. When the nurse told me it looked like i have a herpes outbreak i went into shock & cried. She did the test, gave me an overview, put me on acyclovir, & I will get my results in about a week.

 

Im in so much pain, the outbreak is giving me a fever & the blisters are unbearable! Urinating is a challenge and the pain wont cease; does it get better?

 

Even with everything i dont even know how to tell my boyfriend about the outbreak. Ive been with 5 guys total, the other 4 i used protection... I feel dirty & dont know what to think or feel with him. Is it possible he has the virus & doesnt know? I dont understand too much so if anyone could explain Id greatly appreciate it.

 

Overall im just scared, I feel alone & cant stop crying. I dont know what to think or where to go from here...

[mysecretlife22]

Hey girl! first and foremost, stop crying! :-) easier said than done I completely understand...

 

Secondly yes it does get better :-)

 

Third, a little trick for when you pee because I thought I was going to die every time i went b during my first outbreak... this is going to sound weird but, pour cold water on yourself at the same time while you're peeing, it helps dilute the urine and it won't burn as bad... <3 also you can ask for a "numbing cream", that helps a bit as well if they have it.

 

everything you're feeling is completely natural, and normal. But just know you are definitely not alone!

 

As far as your boyfriend goes, he definitely could have not known that he had it... I was in a long term relationship when I had my first outbreak. We had been having unprotected sex for almost a year at that point. naturally he went and got tested, and he came up negative which means I had it before hand and never knew :-( thankfully even tho we had been having unprotected sex for a year, he never got it from me.

 

Obviously you loved him enough to have unprotected sex with him even though you haven't with anyone previously & I'm willing to bet he probably loves you too. It won't be an easy conversation to have but you're going to have to tell him and he'll have to get tested as well.

 

Keep your head up and just know that things will get better and everything will work out.. just try to stay positive and ask as many questions as you want, we're all here to help each other through this :-)

 

 

[Orngpeelmafia]

I agree with everything mysecretlife has to say...also take a sitz bath and I know this part is gonna sound weird but blow dry your lady parts...the warm water soothes all that angry you got goin on!

 

And you've got friends here :) I'm just a message away if you need to talk

[mysecretlife22]

Omg orngpeelmafia! I almost said that about the blow dryer! I used the cool setting :-)

[Orngpeelmafia]

Yes!!!!! Mysecretlife from a safe distance on cool setting=most amazing herp soothing feeling everrrrrr...I've only had one bad outbreak but during that time baths and blow driers were my bestest friends!!!!

[mysecretlife22]

Agreed!

[aiko2004]

Thanks! Im still in the painful stage of the outbreak & imgoing CRAZY. Im so uncomfortable urinating & just keep trying to tell myself this is the worst part & will pass but I feel so defeated. Ive do the pouring water trick & blow dryer (oddly helps the most) but I am just frustrated having to do all these steps. Im currently taking care of a family member & i feel like i can barely take care of myself right now. One good thing is i stopped crying & been praying alot & trying not to stress, really hard since I have anxiety. I guess I just have to take this one day at a time. Thanks for the support & advice, you dont know how much it truly helps!!! :-)

 

[connect]

While, I'm new to this too, I can say it will get better and don't be to down on yourself. You will get physically better and than have good/bad mental days. However, you will get through and this site is so helpful. I try to meditate and do yoga....all suggestions from others on here. I eat healthy (I have been bad lately hehe) but come Monday back on the wagon. I feel better when I eat better. Stay strong and you will find your way.

[mysecretlife22]

Aiko,

I'm so glad that some of the tips are helping! The worst is almost over, & once this passes you'll be feeling so much better. It's definitely harder to stay mentally positive when your physically feeling so shity. To be honest you sound like you're handling it pretty well :-) There will be ups & downs for sure. I will say that ironically being diagnosed with hsv2 made me healthier... I stopped smoking, started working out again & started eating healthier. It also made me a lot pickier about the type of men I allowed in my life. Definitely helped weed out the men from the boys ;-)

 

Having hsv is life changing for sure BUT it doesn't have to be all negative :-D Keep your head up! ♡