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Just because I felt kind of down today. In case any of you needed some love :)

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I'm pretty sure throughout this entire experience, were all going to have downs. There will be times when we doubt ourselves, when we feel like we will never find what we're looking for, or when were terrified of the future. I'm sure we will cry, or feel desperately alone with no one on our side or no one who can understand us.


But well also see ups. The times when we felt at peace with our bodies and the virus inside us. When we make friends with our past and learn from what it has to teach us. When we spend a whole day or week or month not even thinking about the H word or feeling gross or used up. The days we smile and laugh and love our lives. Today, I had a very bad "down". I felt trapped in this little box of sadness and I could not find a way out. I've been working on being there for myself and learning how to be better to myself. I came across this quote a few months ago and recently had it tattooed on my rib cage, because I realized this journey to loving myself is going to be lifelong and I needed to see this every single day until I take my last breath:


"If I am not for myself, who will be for me?"


The thought sucked the wind out of me. It made me so sad to think that this soul of mine, who wants nothing but to love people and to inspire others to be strong and to love themselves more, could possibly be wasted because I was not being a worthy advocate for myself. It made me sad to realize that I could have no one standing for me, if I didn't do it for myself. That thought empowered me. It made me realize that we are the only ones who can control our happiness.


I believe being "for yourself" means to stay true to what makes you happy, to get rid of anyone who doesn't value your self-esteem, your time, or your feelings. To only speak kind words to yourself, and to work on being loving and gracious to the people you love. To motivate yourself to achieve your goals and constantly better yourself and to take care of your body, even it means just to quit smoking or drinking too much soda.


I made a vow to myself when I was diagnosed to only live for love, purity of heart , and peace. That no matter how many "down days" I had, I would never stop trying. No matter how many times I failed and didn't love myself enough that day, or was negative and impossible to be around, I would just wake up and try again the next day. I would never give up on being "for myself", even if I failed a million times before I finally did.


I hope you guys promise yourselves to be for you, too. I hope you are all having wonderful weeks and just know that I'm here if you ever want to trade notes or just talk to someone. Thank you for listening!

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I'm touched, Rogue. I appreciate your vulnerability in this post. Thank you for demonstrating something really important for all of us. This is the epitome of it for me: Self-love. Self love has its roots in self-acceptance first. Truly, deeply accepting every aspect of ourselves. There is no such thing as rejection when we deeply accept ourselves first. And our culture has put such the kibosh on self-love as seemingly the same thing as self-centeredness/narcissism. It's not ... Self-love is exactly as you say it so beautifully and eloquently here. It's never giving up on YOU and the life you want to live. Never giving up on your dreams and who you truly know yourself to be in this world. Getting to know your true power and love so you can share it fully with the world. Striving to be the best friend to yourself that you can be. To treat yourself with respect. Your body. Your mind. Your soul. All of it. Show people how you want to be treated by treating yourself that way first. Thank you for vulnerably sharing yourself here with all of us. I can feel your heart radiating through your words. It feels tender to hear it from you.


So yes! Here's to each of us being able to be with ourselves through the down times so we will know how to be with ourselves through the amazing times, too. Life is a ride. Let's truly be here for it. :)

This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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You are beautiful inside and out.. Uve given me some reassurance about myself tonight... As much as I fight it to love myself thru these hard times.. Ur right,

There's always the next time I open my eyes....<3 I love ur inspiration... Thank u for ur lots of love... Xoxox u made my spirits fly tonight...☺️

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