First Time Disclosure

[beihaigirl2004]

I have only been positive since the beginning of February. I had NO interest in dating. I went out a handful of times with this guy last year. I told him I didn't think it was working out and that was that. I know the problem is I was super interested in my gift giver. Still would be with him if it were up to me but he has moved on. Anway fast forward to after my positive PCR swab- the guy has been texting me asking for another date/chance. I finally agreed cause hey who doesn't want great conversation. We had a great time but then I pulled back and told him I can't get serious right now and blurted out I have HSV2 (I hate the word herpes). He's like and your point is what? He did not care. He's like I have friends with it. Its really no big deal. I was actually surprised even though I shouldn't be. He is a great guy but I'm unfortunately finding my defense mechanisms going up. Point is I got a disclosure out of the way and was accepted. That made me feel like a person and I almost started crying. 

[mr_hopp]

This. This is so good! Here's to your courage. And for accepting yourself enough for someone else to see you and accept you, too. And regardless of whether he said yes or no, it's a win. Success is that you even did it. Getting to acceptance is icing on the cake. 😉 Good job.

And good on you for noticing your defense mechanisms coming up, too. When we can notice, then we have more choice. Making the unconscious more conscious takes more power away from our patterns that don't really serve us. Defense mechanisms certainly do a great job keeping us safe, but they also keep us disconnected. Definitely watch that with a vigilant eye! 👊

[NJRunnerMom]

This is great to hear!  I haven't dated since January when I got this but I just put myself back on a dating site so we'll see what happens.  I'm not as confident as I was before this but you've got to start somewhere right??!!  

[beihaigirl2004]

@NJRunnerMom I actually met him on a dating sight pre-HSV+. I was a little nervous but the words just flew out of my mouth LOL. We got this. It definitely puts wrench in things but I am slowly realizing I am so much more. Remember you do not need to disclose unless you are ready. Going out for drinks and/or dinner is great. I'm not saying I'm going to date this guy but his response at least earned another date LOL. Feel free to message me if you ever need to chat!