I feel like I'm going crazy

[Ksanz96]

Who on here has infected other parts of their body???? Like their hands or face 

I have GHSV1 so I obviously touch myself when I shower and sometimes I masterbate.  And lately I have these under skin bumps that I can't tell if they're an outbreak or just boils /cysts so i clearly touch and see if they're getting any better its like unavoidable to not touch my private parts! Am i suppose to wear gloves for the rest of my life wth!

I wash my hands over 30 times a day because I just feel dirty and contagious. My hands have been peeling because of the over washing 

 I got diagnosed in November. 
So it hasn't been more than 4 months that I've had this.

( I haven't been consistent with the acyclovir either its just hard to take everyday)

I hate myself I feel like I'm a walking infection.

 

I've been taking care of my baby nephew and I'm afraid to even touch him..And when I have touched him I soon remember i carry herpes and i start to overthink and beat myself up for touching him! this cant be life. I'm tired of everyone minimizing this when it clearly affects your physical & mental state 

I'M NOT OK!

[Flowerteacher55]

Hello,

First, breathe. You are safe. You are okay. You are not dirty. You are not a danger to yourself or others. 

I want to tell you that you are not crazy. You are a person handling stress and it is manifesting through compulsive hand washing. It's not your fault. You are scared and care about passing it to others, such as your baby nephew. You are caring and kind. HSV could never ever change that about you. 

I have GHSV-1 and very bad OCD. I completely understand the obsessive fear and compulsions to want to wash your hands 24/7. I have had HSV for about 3 years now.  I have been really stressed due to family issues recently and so I have been stressed. My stress manifests as OCD, so of course my OCD has been terrible. I have felt ugly and dirty for years due to trauma, and getting HSV validated these feelings. It was terrible. Through therapy and healing and tapping (a type of meditation which I highly recommend!!) I have really gotten better. You can too! I promise. 

Amazing news, it is very unlikely you'd give yourself HSV. You have antibodies to protect you from it. However, If you have an autoimmune illness, the risk is higher. 

HSV spreads via skin to skin contact with the infected area during shedding or an outbreak. It doesn't go through clothing. It doesn't spread by sharing a shower. When you touch a sore, and you wash your hands, you kill and wash away the germs. You are safe. ❤️

You are a good person who is under stress. Be kind to yourself. Remind yourself that you aren't bad or dirty. You aren't a danger. You aren't someone to be feared. Your fear of passing it to another could be worsened by repressed feelings of guilt or shame. Take time to process everything. Cry if you need to. Forgive yourself (not that you have anything to be sorry for, just sometimes forgiving yourself for any and all things is really healing❤️). Write a letter to yourself. Explaining that you know you are struggling but you are not bad or dirty and your fears are not stronger than the truth. 

We are all here for you! If you need any support, feel free to direct message me. You are a warrior, not a worrier!

Sending prayers and blessings of happiness your way! ❤️ 

Blessings,

grace 

 

 

[Ksanz96]

I've read mixed information about it.

 

Some people say you can and it has happend just by touching and others say its cery unlikely but still possible. Everything is just so emotionally draining. I'm in therapy but it doesn't seem to get better

 

But thank you so much for the kind reminders and caring words.

 

I really appreciate it all!

[Flowerteacher55]

Hello!

Sadly, not all information out there is accurate or true. However, yes, it is possible to give yourself HSV, but that typically occurs for those who may not practice the best hygiene or who have an immune-related illness that prevents them from building and keeping their HSV antibodies. However, with hand washing (not excessive though!) after touching sores and not touching sores if you have a cut on your finger, you help significantly reduce risk of passing HSV to yourself. 

Im sorry therapy isn't helping as much as it should. That can be very frustrating. I would really reccomend tapping with Brad Yates on YouTube. Tapping works to reduce the mind's defense mechanism and fight or flight response to a specific stimuli, in this case, HSV worries and anxiety. It's a blessing!

Try these!! 

Intro to Tapping:

 

Anxiety and Panic Tapping Videos;

 

I hope these help! 

Stay strong. You can and will get through this. 

Sending prayers of healing! ☀️🌻

 

 

[RingofFire]

@Ksanz96If you haven't tried meditating, it has helped me with a lot of things such as anxiety and panic attacks.

I use the Headspace app on my iPhone. There is a 30-day program for pain on there. It's 10 minutes a day and it really helps to ease the mind.

I originally started using it for sleep and it's amazing for that too!

Things will get better!