I disclosed :) Been dating someone for a month

[nic4897]

So.. here's the thing. I re-connected with a high school friend on FB and it was only supposed to be about the sushi but.. well it must have been the mercury from too much sushi :) cause we've been dating on the down low away from FB prying eyes for about a month. It's been very good for me to take it slow and when I disclosed he was just about as kind as you could be. His reaction was .. it's sometimes the card you're drawn.. could've happened to anyone. And then we started making out again :) So my talk went well. Never easy to be vulnerable to anyone but I'm glad The flirtation is slow moving and I can say he is very special to me without really knowing what will happen next. The whole sex "thang" I think we're both trying to figure out since I'm paranoid something will happen to him and he hates condoms. The good thing is... I disclosed to someone who I thought would be very kind to me and I like a lot and my judgment call was correct. :) Thank you to this forum for providing the support and therapy I needed to make this monumental step :) This is quite huge for me.

[mr_hopp]

I'm so super proud of you, nic. Congratulations. Not just on his reaction, but moreso congratulations on just doing something that you were scared to do. For following your heart and your integrity. For taking the chance. For being vulnerable. Congratulations on the other side of all that led up to having this talk. You're right. This is huge. And you get to celebrate yourself for doing it. Thank you for sharing this win with us! And it's stories like this that had me create this forum ... so that there can be successes of the heart. We all deserve love.

 

And about the whole paranoid thing, please let go of paranoia. Seriously. Let. It. Go. ;) It doesn't help anyone to hold on to paranoia. Yes, be safe. Yes, be careful. Then totally enjoy having sex with each other when the time feels right. And if you two decide together to not use condoms (after he gets tested, too, to see if he has any STDs) and you go on daily suppressive therapy, there's still only a 2% chance of him getting herpes from you. The more you worry, the more your immune system is lowered, and that's what holds back outbreaks and viral shedding. :) A great built-in mechanism to make sure we're enjoying our lives and taking care of ourselves on multiple levels.

[nic4897]

You rock, Adrial.. hope all is well in your world! OK Officially giving myself permission to let it go. I've been on suppressive therapy for years and I love the "built in mechanism" comment. Calm down, Nic.. calm down! Ahhh positivity... :) Yeah... we'll figure it out I'm sure.. all this is very new to me so slower is best. Good luck, everyone!!