help! need real life stories-passing on hsv 1 genitally if your partner has oral hsv1

[adventurelovelife]

Hi all! I'm new, and panicking. I've been seeing this guy for awhile, and we had the talk, and he was ok with everything (which was great!). I think he was partly ok with it because he understood it to be the same virus, and felt that because he has cold sores (and thus has HSV1) that he would have some immunity.

 

He's moving away, so this weekend was our last hang out. I had been feeling a bit weird down there, but since I always feel weird down there (like, seriously 24/7),I didn't worry too much about it.

 

Well, we had sex Saturday night (like-a lot of sex. for a long time). By SUnday morning, I was in mad pain. It was (and is) most definitely an outbreak. A big one that was obviously brewing.

 

Anyway, I'm obviously worried as hell! I don't want to have passed this on to him-especially since we are now breaking up! I know that really, all I can do is wait, but I'm curious if anyone has any experience with this.

 

I can't find much info-some info is very promising (it says you can't really get hsv 1 in different places except during the first year) and others that says it can be passed on easily.

 

I also wonder then-am I going to get it other places now? We had oral sex, and then kissed….many times….agh!

 

I guess that will be an interesting experiment too. I'll definitely report back. Anyway-in the meantime-any help/advice/anything would be much appreciated. I literally feel sick to my stomach thinking on our last hangout I ended up doing something so stupid.

[WCSDancer2010]

@adventurelovelife

 

First - Welcome! Glad you have found this forum. We are here to support you and help you get answers... :)

 

I'm assuming you have HSV1 genitally - not HSV2? Given that he already has HSV1 orally his risk of getting HSV1 genitally is pretty low - not impossible, but unlikely, because he has the antibodies in his system to fight off the HSV1 elsewhere. And you will unlikely get it orally - for the same reason. It's not a definite, but the odds are pretty slim.

 

If you have HSV2, then your statistical numbers are the same as everyone else - about 4% risk of F-M transmission. Immunity to one of them does not give you immunity to the other. Adrial and I both have BOTH HSV1(oral) and HSV2 (genital)...in which case you need to get your understanding of the virus up to date before you enter another relationship ;)

 

Have you read the Handouts/E-book?

 

Handouts:

http://bit.ly/h-opp-diagnosis-handout

http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout

 

Disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

Hope that helps :)

 

(((HUGS)))

[adventurelovelife]

Hi, and thank you so much! Yes-I have read so much on here. This forum is amazing and helped me get the confidence to talk to him in the first place!

 

I do know all the "normal" stats-but what I can't seem to find is specific stats on if you have sex during an outbreak…which is what I did. Unknowingly. LIke I said-I thought things felt weird…but I am always feeling weird, and I looked around and it all looked fine down there..and then we had some drinks and so it went.

 

And yes, I have genital HSV 1 and he has oral HSV 1.

 

So I'm wondering on the odds of him getting it from me since we did have sex during an outbreak (and there was a lot of touching in all places). I was just wondering if there were any stories of this happening etc? I guess I'm just trying to steel myself to the potential phone call. We had this great "last hangout", and I'd love to just "ride into the sunset" so to speak…but am obviously worried this may not be the case. :( :( :(

 

It's such a bummer…especially since I am usually so careful. It's hard not to freak out.

 

 

[WCSDancer2010]

There is no way to give a hard and fast statistic but i would guess he should be ok ... it's pretty rare to inoculate in other areas once you have it unless your immune system is down....

 

If you really are concerned just tell him you broke out the next day ... he knew the risks (it sounds like he was informed of what having HSV1 meant for him) so he will just want to be aware of the very low possibility that he may have got it elsewhere.

 

Odds are your rather vigorous romping just caused the full blown breakout. Ie: you were in the Prodrome (early breakout symptoms) and not shedding as much. But there is nothing you can do now except let him know. Take this as a learning experience for future relationships, eh?

 

(((HUGS)))

[adventurelovelife]

Thanks so much. It's always a learning experience…:) I'll post when I know more…and if anyone else has any experience here…would love to hear it as well.

[adventurelovelife]

hey all, just thought i'd update on here-he was fine. :) we are not dating anymore cauz he moved away, but he didn't get a genital ob and I didn't get an oral one. phew.

[adventurelovelife]

 

..

 

[2Legit2Quit]

IMO I'd hold off telling him, so not to cause undo stress. I have run into others on forums who had an OB like hrs or next morning after sex and it didn't pass on. You also didn't mention if condoms were used and/or if you take daily suppressive therapy for it?