Alone, A Long Ways Away...

[SERS]

So like most of the posts I have read on here, i'm not entirely sure where to start. As the category shows I have just found out that I have HSV-1 but...down there. I found this out on New Years Eve, the day I had flown to Sydney. I have been travelling around Australia for 2 months now and have just got back from Bali when I started noticing something odd. As soon as I touched down I went straight to a clinic and got some help. Test results came back positive. I literally have no idea how to process this. I guess that's why I have joined this forum, for help, guidance and advice on living with this.

When I first found out I didn't leave my room for 4 days, I didn't sleep, I didn't eat, I just cried continually. Needless to say my worst New Years Ever.

I broke up with a long term partner in March which prompted me to get my ass in gear and finally do the things that I wanted to do. Travel. I had only slept with 2 people since the break-up and was just trying to get myself back on track. Until Bali, I had protected sex with a guy there that obviously carried the HSV-1 virus. At first I couldn't believe it. I have never had an STI, have always taken precautions when it comes to intimacy, and here I am, alone in a new city on New Years Eve having just found out I have...Herpes.

There I said it. I don't think I have since I found out. As most people would do I have done a lot of research on the topic, reading forums and watching videos, and it helped a bit. It made me understand it a bit more, and perhaps even begin to deal with it, but then I would see a couple walk down the street, or a woman pushing a pram and I'd just burst into tears. I know that this is just a skin condition that affects a lot of people (although they might not know it) but I can't get over the fact that my entire attitude towards dating and love now have to change. I just can't imagine anyone being ok with this, with wanting to be with someone that has this disease. I am only 24, I understand that I still have a lot of learning and growing to do, but I can't even begin to imagine the magnitude of what this means and how it will affect me for the rest of my life. I don't want this to come across dramatic, but this is just very brand new information to me and I'm still trying to figure it out. I was having fun, I was being careful and now this has happened.

I am travelling alone, I have no one to speak to about this. everybody I see is so happy and it makes me terrified of squandering this incredible opportunity I have in front of me. In a childish way this trip was to get away from some of the responsibilities I have at home and I am now faced with this heavy responsibility that I have to deal with alone.

[WCSDancer2010]

SERS

 

First - welcome to the Forums - you are in the perfect place to process your arrangement with this uninvited guest.... because that's all it really is. A virus that isn't what we asked to have inhabit our bodies...but we are now stuck with it. And like that unwanted house guest, we just have to figure out how to set up boundaries with it and let it know what the rules are. And when friends come over, we have to let them know that Mr Herp is sleeping in the spare room and we will do our best to leave him there, but if we wake him up, we'll just have to play elsewhere. (OMG @HerrytheHerp...I've been around you too long!!!)

 

You see, it's all about attitude. How you think about it and how you talk about it will determine how you go forward. And yes, right now you may need to beat a few pillows and cry a bit...BUT, you are in the middle of a WONDERFUL adventure and you should do everything you can to enjoy it. In fact, those of us who have come to peace with our little friend have realized that he often acts as our Wing-man *if* we let him.

 

I've had H2 Genital since I was 17 - H1 oral since I was a kid. I never thought anything of it until I was getting divorced and started reading all the hype put out there by the drug companies and such about how "horrid" this disease is. And it freaked me out as if I was just diagnosed..... until I came to the realization that 1) Nothing for ME had changed as far as my dealing with it for myself and 2) by knowing I all the facts about transmission, and with the great supressive therapy that is out there, I can protect my future partners (sadly my ex hubby got it from me because I just thought I had an annoying rash until he was diagnosed...hey - it was the 80's :p )So I took it upon myself to do everything I could to learn what I could do to keep my outbreaks at bay AND to protect anyone I get intimate with.

 

It's sooooo easy to get the H1 virus because noone things of Cold Sores as being Herpes ... and those who have H1 genitally don't have as many breakouts (often only 1 so they never get diagnosed) so they can be shedding silently and not know it. HALF of the new genital cases are H1 because of the lack of information out there and the lack of testing. So basically EVERYONE who is having sex (even many married couples) is walking through a minefield unless they go to the STD clinic together and get thoroughly tested together (and even then, if one was very recently exposed, they can some up negative. ) So as HerrytheHerp says, "life really is a gamble. The deck is stacked against us from day one. Viruses, cancer, accidents, most Kevin Costner movies, falling toilet seats from de-orbiting space stations. In fact, the moment we're born is the moment life tries to kill us at every turn and we begin to die." (Read the whole thing HERE http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2220/fear-of-the-moment#Item_6

 

Herpes is just one of many challenges we will face in our lives. We can learn to work with it or we can LET it define us and bring us down. It's our choice.

 

I promise you WILL be fine and you WILL get back to normal...perhaps a slightly different "normal", but really, what IS normal anyway? You see, it's all in how you define things..... don't let H define you... YOU define how you will go forward from here..

 

(((HUGS)))

[victoriaxxx]

Hello Sers,

Welcome to the forum. I have only been around here for about 2 weeks and I found this place a very comforting and safe place to talk to people. (:

 

I was diagnosed about a month ago with HSV-2. I am only 20.. One thing I learned is that it doesn't matter about age or any of that. I know it's upsetting I had to do my week of crying. ( Some people get over it faster than others.) You could have possibly got it from oral sex, because HSV-1 is usually cold soars/fever blisters. Imagine your H as a friend. A companion. I am actually thankful that I have it, because there is nothing I can really do to get rid of it. I told my boyfriend about my H.. && I was able to find out that he was really here for me. Yes you will have to think about relationships a little differently, but not that much differently at all. You are just going to have to be safe about it. Now that you know about it you can take the steps possible to keep your potential partners safe.

 

&& The way you will look at this is based on yourself. I hope that eventually you can come to terms with your H, because it is easier than bottling it up and stressing over it all the time. ( Stress is usually a key to the outbreaks.)

 

I had the same problem. I only felt one or two little bumps and I decided to go get them checked out. I thought that it was razor burn or maybe a cyst.. But come to find out it is HSV-2.

 

Coming out to this is a big step in the healing process and much love to you!

We are all here in this process. (: