Facing facts vs. sticking your head in the sand

[HerryTheHerp]

I'm gonna rant a little bit. Alright, I'm gonna rant a lot.

 

First, if you're old enough to do the mattress mambo, you're old enough to know what might be floating around in between the sheets. Not only is it your responsibility to test yourself, it's your partners responsibility to test themselves. Why? Because sex is a big responsibility. Between babies and STD's, there are some real consequences to spending the night with someone.

 

More importantly, it's important to be honest with the people you sleep with. Too, too many of us are here because someone lied to us. That's a tough pill to swallow. That's a pill that you can gag a life on.

 

So, get tested, be honest, face your concerns head on and deal with them head on. Modern medicine is phenomenal, but it's no substitute for honest communication.

[Yadira]

Honesty! Yes!

[WCSDancer2010]

Integrity is so important but so hard for some people to live by. And the reason is simple. They are broken and damaged too. Maybe someone lied to them. So damaged that they can't take the pain of more rejection. They lie to themselves before they lie to you because that's how they can justify their behavior. "I'm not having a breakout and I'll be careful". "I've never given it to anyone so I mustn't be shedding". "I'll tell them when it gets serious".

 

For most, it's all a ruse with themselves to avoid the pain of rejection. For a few, it's a control issue - to make sure you are tied to them (but that goes back to rejection). Or perhaps revenge. Or some even worse psychopathic issues.

 

However, how many of us here asked to see their STD test results before we did the did the deed. We took their word that they were not only tested, but that they were clean across the board. That's the part we have to clean up with ourselves. Because we all want to trust. Especially with someone who is a potential love interest.

 

It's a tough thing - we want to trust - and really, who wants to pull out your test results in the heat of the moment? " I'll show you mine if you show me yours" just doesn't have the same charge when you are talking test results.

 

But we must. It's up to us to set the standard. It's up to us to have that conversation long before we are in that situation where our hormones are raging. Long before the blood supply heads south and renders our brain useless for making rational decisions. Yes - someone screwed us over and deceived us. All the more reason that WE must rise above all this and do what is right.

 

Peace :)

[HerryTheHerp]

I have to agree with everything you said. It's sad that we live in a society where we have to follow Reagan's advice and "trust, but verify" when it comes to our romantic lives.

 

It's too bad, but I guess it's the way it is.

 

Good advice Dancer. Good advice.

[victoriaxxx]

Dancer you always have great advice.