My Herpes Story.......

[bri94ana]

Hi. I am 18 and I have a story to tell.

 

When I was 13 years old I knew this boy. He was 15 a freshman in high school while I was 13 like I said and an eighth grader. His friend as well as my friend had introduced us. We had kicked it off great. I had known him for the whole summer. We were supposedly dating that summer. We talked on the phone and hung out sometimes. Other than that, I guess you can say that I didn't really know this guy. I remember one day I was hanging out in front of my friends house with some other friends. He wasn't there. This girl was there and she had said that her and him had had sex. We weren't together then but he apparently thought we were. A couple weeks later I was back at my friends house. Mind you I had only had sex one time before this day. It was night time and me and him were sitting on my friends couch. He had asked me if I wanted to have sex. I said no. He asked my why not and I said I don't want to. He had given me a little punch in the arm, where I had just gotten a shot. I had said ow and he asked why. I told him I had gotten a shot for an STD that I had then said I was just kidding I had no STD of any kind. He had eventually sweet talked me enough to get me upstairs in the same room with him. We were just laying down and his friend kept coming in. Finally we ended up having unprotected sex. It didn't last very long and it wasn't that great. I remember that he wasn't going all the way in until this one time where he did and we made skin to skin contact. Almost as soon as he had went all the way in he had gotten up and ejaculated in the sink in the bathroom. That was it and we were done. That day was August 3rd, 2008. Two weeks later when I had started the ninth grade I got a lesion on my privates. I didn't think anything of it. It had eventually went away. Soon enough another one came. Then I just knew especially when the tingling came for the first time.

 

To this day I have been on and off depressed. I have been in and out of psychiatric hospitals and diagnosed with manic depression. I have attempted suicide three times and have cut marks on my arm from one of the attempts.

 

This is the first time I am sharing my story and I need someone to talk to. I am sad and can't get over the fact that this is forever and ever! I mean yes it has been four years but I can't forget it. I have never to this day said I have this out loud yet I can scream it aloud in my head.

[bri94ana]

Can anyone tell me please how to disclose this story with a guy I am getting to know and whom I like very much?

[lively]

I'm so glad you have found this site. There is so much to help you gain perspective on this condition. I'm so sorry you had such an experience at such a young age and that you have been unable to tell anyone, tell us everything, you need to get it out, it's too big a burden for you to hold it alone all these years. I do think you need to heal at least a bit before you try to talk it through with a special new man. Download the ebook and read it through several times for a start. Keep in the conversation here, lots of us would want to help you. I can't say if your mental health problems have come from this or not, but truly Briana you are giving H too much power. Let us help you reclaim your power yourself. Read everything on the forum, it's the best way to realise you really are not alone any more.

 

In the end, everyone we disclose to will make their own choice. Always remember if they walk away, it's the virus not you they are walking away from........I know it can be hard to face that. Yet there are many positive outcomes as well. Stay with us.

[bri94ana]

thank you! what is this ebook you speak of? I would like to hear more about it.

[mr_hopp]

Here's that link to the e-book (you get it free when you sign up to the email list): http://eepurl.com/b4IPP ... and if you're already signed up to the email list, private message me and I'll send you the link directly to the pdf. Sorry I haven't had the time to adequately respond to your post, bri94ana! Things have been super busy in preparation to the H Opportunity weekend seminar coming up in October! I'll respond when some time clears up. (And thanks lively for hopping in!)

(Funny this is pretty much exactly what I wrote on the previous post. Copy and paste, baby!) ;)