Female genital HSV-1 transmission to male

[Guest]

Female with reported genital HSV-1 only. She was diagnosed in 2008 with one outbreak, then subsequent outbreak in 2012. She has had no outbreaks since 2012. She starts taking Valtrex at the early signs of any outbreak. For example, if she sees a pimple-like structure, then takes Valtrex. Male was negative for HSV-1&2.

 

A. Oral Sex: Male performed unprotected oral sex on female's vagina 31 days ago, 3 sessions for an estimated total of 20 minutes, there was no outbreak. She was not taking Valtrex at the time, because there was no outbreak. No overt symptoms to date in male. Dr. Hunter Handsfield on the Medhelp website states he has "never heard of anyone getting oral herpes by oral sex with someone in this situation." (Posted June 15, 2007.) I realize the virus sheds 3-5% of the days, per year, in this situation.

 

*****Query: (1) Would you agree the risk of transmission in this case is less than 1%? (I agree 80% of people have oral HSV-1 and it's no big deal, but it's really important for me to know these risks.) (2) How potent are the sheddings at transmitting the virus, i.e. when exposed to sheddings, what are the risks of transmission.

 

B. Intercourse: Female had skin colored pimple above her vagina, she thought it was the early sign of an outbreak and took Valtrex. Pimple went away 3 days later. Nine days after noticing the pimple (or 6 days after it went away), female had unprotected vaginal intercourse with male. She was taking Valtrex for 9 days straight (since first noticing the pimple). Intercourse was 3 times over a 13-hour period. Female was on her period at the time. The first time of intercourse there was minor to mild bleeding. By the third time at intercourse, there was heavy bleeding. No overt symptoms to date in male in genital area. It has been 16 days since the intercourse.

 

Dr. Hunter Handsfield on the Medhelp website states: "Genital to genital HSV-1 transmission of course can occur, but most likely it is rare. I have never seen a case of genital HSV-1 that was not acquired by oral sex." I realize the virus sheds 3-5% of the days, per year, in this situation. Plus, since the female was taking Valtrex, I realize we reduce the transmission rate by 48%.

 

*****Query: Would you agree the risk of transmission in this case is substantially less than 1%?

 

C. Kissing: Female was diagnosed by her physician with genital HSV-1 only, in 2008. She claims she has never had any cold sores, lesions, or any indicia of an outbreak, at any time, on her mouth or lips. We kissed 6 to 8 times, the last time without Valtrex was 31 days ago, and with Valtrex was 16 days ago. I saw never saw any signs of an oral outbreak. Oral shedding occurs 9% to 18% of the days of the year.

 

*****Query: (1) I find it hard to believe she does not also have oral HSV-1, it appears she acquired genital HSV-1 in 2008 from her ex-boyfriend, but wouldn't they have naturally kissed during the course of their two-year relationship whereby she would get oral HSV-1 too? Please comment. (2) What do you think the risks are that I contracted HSV-1 from the 6 to 8 kisses? (I agree 80% of people have oral HSV-1 and it's no big deal, but it's really important for me to know these risks.)

 

D. Disclosure. There was no disclosure made until after all of the above events took place. And yes, I do feel deceived and I'm quite disturbed by the issue. For the record, this behavior (surprisingly) was by a woman with a graduate degree in the mental health field.

[HerryTheHerp]

Dr. Handsfield is a pretty well known expert when it comes to STD's. In fact, I guarantee you a lot of folks on this forum know exactly who he is because his name and a great many others pop up in the Google results when you start looking at symptoms.

 

I also know Dr. Handsfield, Dr. Bob, and all the others will tell you the same thing I'm going to: Do you want to know? Symptoms won't tell you, and while he's never heard of anyone, theoretically anything is possible." Heck, I once dated a woman who sounded like Ethel Merman when she came and I swear the lights flickered each and every time she found the high notes. It's possible the ghost of dear ole' Ethel possessed my girlfriend's body to get close to me, but I'd prefer not to overthink it, know what I mean? There's just certain things a man doesn't ever want to know, and that just happens to be in my top 5. It's right above "Is this herpes or just a pimple?"

 

You're just going to have to buck up, wait the window out (up to 6 long months for Herpes) and get some blood drawn...or wait for a blister to appear and get it swabbed. No internet forum in the world can tell you yay or nay with 100% certainty, not even this one. If you do turn up HSV1 positive, well, again, welcome to the 80%, you're now in the majority of people who will still sit next to you at the dinner table.

 

Now, she was on suppressive therapy. Did you use a condom? Nope. In the era of HIV/AIDS, why anyone would do the pokey pokey without a rubber shield or verified test results still baffles me. That's like walking into a lion's den with a t-bone strapped to your butt and just hoping he's not hungry. 90 day window period and you're going to need to get tested for everything. If she's been tested, you can relax a bit. Heck, if neither of you have been tested recently, make it a date.

 

Yes, your stats on herpes are pretty close to being reliable. Could you have contracted HSV1 from your little romp in the sack? Sure. It happens. If it didn't, none of us would be here. Is it likely? It's not impossible, and rough/prolonged sex with bleeding could facilitate transfer. But, am I going to bet the farm on it? Nope. Even Vegas offers odds better than 5%.

 

Finally, I'm going to say something about your use of the "male" and "female" to make it sound clinical. Sex is not clinical. Sex is wild. Sex is risky. It's passionate. It's two horny pieces of meat grinding themselves against one another often while they pray and use swear words in the same sentence. It often carries with it serious risks such as children, marriage...and mother-in-laws...bum bum bum. At least with herpes you get to give the problem a pill until it goes to sleep; try doing that to your mother in law and see how well that goes over.

 

By making it clinical you're taking your responsibility out of the equation, and while she should have said something before you disrobed and let your tongue go wandering through the bushes, it sounds to me like she's been pretty open and honest with you. I mean, unless you're digging all her medical history out of her filing cabinet, she's told you some pretty relevant facts to try and calm you down. It's clear you think she did it maliciously, and I just don't think that's the case. Your odds of contracting HSV1 through this are really low, but I guarantee you if you care about this woman, your risk of losing her by overanalyzing the situation are pretty high. You've got to weight that ASAP.

[WCSDancer2010]

In the era of HIV/AIDS, why anyone would do the pokey pokey without a rubber shield or verified test results still baffles me. That's like walking into a lion's den with a t-bone strapped to your butt and just hoping he's not hungry.

 

*Snort* - I LOVE you Herry!!! And you are soooo right about that! And @Unhappy1 , given that she didn't tell you about the HSV1, I would personally be more concerned about the possibility of HIV than HSV1. Now, it's very doubtful that you have either, but you have taken a risk (you need to take responsibility for not wearing a condom here..whether she was honest with you or not) and as Herry said, you just plain need to get yourself tested at the 4-6 month point after your last romp.

 

And yes my friend, she very well could have HSV1 genital and NOT oral. 50% of the new cases of genital HSV are HSV1 ... who knows why they never got it orally (most have likely been exposed repeatedly from childhood (when most of us actually get our coldsores) through adulthood. But when you romp below, you are playing in an area with very delicate tissues that can get micro- tears from sex as well as your 4-o'clock shadow, which create a gateway for the virus.

 

Yes she should have disclosed. But I have to ask, did you actually have an STD talk with her before you got intimate? If you did and she lied, I'd wonder what else she might lie about. If you didn't, well, you are BOTH responsible for her non-disclosure.

 

I agree with Herry - the clinical approach sounds like you are not taking responsibility for your part. In this day and age, we MUST start making sure to have the STD talk... and preferably get tested together before sex, but at least wear condoms until you are sure you are both STD-free (and to be honest, that would be 4-6 months after both of your last encounters with another person). OR, you accept the risk you are taking and the consequences that come with that.

 

Ultimately, I'm guessing that this will just be a huge "learning experience" for you. Odds are, you likely have not got it from her given the circumstances. But the risk is still there ... millions of people do the lottery with lower chances of winning than your odds of having got Herpes every day and someone actually wins the Bazillion Dollar payout!.

 

So you are just going to have to sweat it out and get tested at that 4-6 month window. None of us here can tell you for sure what your odds are in this situation because the stats are not out there (you have obviously done plenty of research and haven't found them either). Any life well lived involves risk. We can (and should) take all the precautions we can to reduce our risk of injury as much as we can ... and then we have to go out there and live life to the fullest. And sometimes, well, the odds go against us. Hopefully we can all look back at the end and say "It wasn't always easy, but it was worth it".

 

(((HUGS)))

[Guest]

Thank you for your input.

[whatsallthehubbub]

For the record, this behavior (surprisingly) was by a woman with a graduate degree in the

mental health field.

 

Herpes is more emotional than it is physical or rational. Just because she may have understood her behavior,doesnt mean she was emotionally able to deal with it... The emotional aspect of herpes is still difficult for me to get a handle on. And ive had it for a very long time... one rational level i know herpes physically is a joke compared to the hype and google pics.. emotionally i can get depressed during a outbreak...and i have a loving woman by my side.. makes zero sense. From my perspective.. its the emotional aspect of herpes that causes the most damage.. which is why this site and its positive aspect is so important.