Point of origin

[Rose89]

Hi all!

 

So, when I had my first outbreak and realized I was positive for HSV2, I'd been seeing a guy on and off for about three months. We had one complete break from each other, during which time we each slept with someone else. As we'd both been tested just prior to sleeping together, it seems one of these one night stands is where this originated from.

 

Once I found out I was positive he went to get tested and we got back the results today. Honestly I don't fully understand what tests I had, one gave the antibodies and the other just said 'isolated'. He went to a different doctor and only got the antibodies test, (I'm sure there's a more formal name for that!)

 

My antibodies test was technically negative at just 0.1. His are equivocal at 0.9. Since we don't know exactly where this came from and who might have got it first, he's worried that the fact his antibodies are higher than mine means he's had it longer and thus gave it to me. I honestly don't care much who gave it to who, the bottom line is I have it and it seems quite possible he does too. I think I'd rather never know. He does care though. He's already feeling guilty about this possibility and he isn't even confirmed positive. Of course I'm still holding out hope that he doesn't have it at all, but he's already resigned himself to it.

 

Is there any logic to the more antibodies, the longer you've had it? I've been telling him it's impossible to tell and not to think about it, but I don't actually know. I know they build overtime, but is a difference of just .8 between he and I at all accurate in judging the time frame?

[WCSDancer2010]

@Rose89

 

It's impossible to tell really - as you seem to understand, a lot will depend on how your respective systems are fighting it off.... that difference in the numbers isn't enough to point a finger.....and if you both saw other people in your split, well, you each took risks. It's even possible you BOTH have brought it back. I doubt you will ever know unless you both go to those people and ask them to get tested.

 

You have the right attitude - at this point, there is no use in playing the blame game because you will never have a definite answer.

 

See if you can get him to come on here and we will help him work though his emotions and guilt and help him to see that there isn't any use at this point, in your situation, for guilt or blame.

 

(((HUGS)))