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Just found out I have herpes- can't take much more

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Hi everyone. I hate herpes


I have been concerned for a year that I had it and each time they were too small too dry to culture. Well today the doctor finally told me it is.


I am feeling extremely... Low. I have a daughter so I won't commit suicide or anything but if not for her I just might. I am not sure how to pick myself up at all. I feel dirty, disgusting. I watch tv shows and I realize my life will never be normal again. Not how I used to be. I just want to be clean again. I want to feel sexy loved normal. I just want to sleep for ever.

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Alright, Jackie. Tough love time.


You're not dirty. Unless you've been rolling around in mud or changing the oil, having herpes does not make you dirty. It makes you human. It makes you part of the 24% of adults in America that have HSV2, and 80% who have HSV1. Unless your name is Scarlett Johansen, Janet Jackson, or Brittany Spears you're not a dirty skank. (BTW, those are 3 people you'll see on TV rumored to have herpes, too.)


Stop watching TV. It's all commercials anyway. Spend some time with your daughter. Go out. Have fun. Enjoy being a mom.


We've all been where you are right now. I was there just a month ago. It's not an easy place to be. Dig your fingernails into the cliff's edge and hold on. Summon your inner Cap'n Dan and yell into the storm. Don't let go. Don't give up. Don't let the blisters and buttheads on TV get you down.

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Thanks Harry the Herp... Fantastic name by the way. Sorry for being dramatic. I do not honestly plan on letting it get me down, but I needed some outlet to let go of all those feelings. Right now I am just dealing with a lot including an autoimmune bladder disorder this is just a lot to take in in addition to the physical pain I deal with from that.


As far as the dirty- yes I understand I just feel as though maybe if I were with a hundred guys I could at least say well... Ya did it to yourself. But that is not the case. How long does it take to get positive about all this?

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First - Welcome. You have found the perfect place to question, vent, and get support :)


I know you can't see it right now, but your life is FAR from over... I've had HSV2 since I was 17 and HSV1 since I was 3 (60% of young people have HSV1 by the time they are young adults as kids spread it to each other). I've had a 20+ year marriage and 2 relationships with H- men that were 3 years each, all breakups were nothing to do with H.


My best suggestion to you is that you read as much as you can on here... see the support we have, read how many people on here are finding love (mostly with H- partners), see their growth and breakthroughs.... get inspired by others.


You are FAR from alone my friend. 16-20% of the population had HSV2 - up to 80% have HSV1. Next time you go out, try to guess who might have either.... and I can tell you, most of your guesses will be wrong. Herpes doesn't care if you are young/old, rich/poor, pretty/homely, black/white, straight/gay, have multiple partners/virgin (yes, we have virgins on here with HSV1 genital from Oral sex), you name it, Herpes is a slippery devil that hides very well and is looking for a host. The CDC seems to think it's not worth testing for it because of the implications for anyone with a false positive result and we are hoping to change their minds about that thinking but it will take time.


I'm going to put some links below to discussions that may "speak" to you right now... but do try to take as much time as you can to read about other people's experiences. Yes, many are struggling like you are right now, but if you go back you will see that many who are helping to give support and advice now were where you are not long ago.


(((HUGS))) my friend. You will be fine. Be gentle with yourself.




http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1949/vulnerability-shame-and-herpes-brene-brown (You will see her come up a lot)






http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2150/todays-lesson-brought-to-you-by-the-letter-h Herry






http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2220/fear-of-the-moment Harry the Herp


http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2447/having-the-healing-talk Herry


http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2646/how-herpes-made-me-a-better-person inka





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Thank you! I appreciate the support. As I was saying this is just an extremely trying time. I have had interstitial cystitis for about a year now. It is very painful and aweful. I try my best to deal with that most days. Dealing with that has been tough and sometimes I find it hard to get up in the morning. This just came at a point where I didn't think I could handle anymore.

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I have had interstitial cystitis since I was 16. Diagnosed officially at 17. Herpes at 23. I understand your pain! It so nice to meet someone who has interstitial cystitis and herpes too. Horrible circumstances, but comforting none the less. Have you actually been diagnosed with IC? Cystocopy if I remember was what I had to diagnosis it. They went in laparoscopically to look for endo and confirm IC. Life is not over. Give it time. What is your regimen for IC? I stopped mine at about 19 because it just didn't work for me. What did work was the bladder installations, DMSO. But only lasted about two weeks for me and I would have to have it redone. Now I don't do anything. I just manage it. I drink lots of water, some days it hurts bad, some days it doesn't. Luckily, mine isn't too terrible. No urgency. I just burn like fire when I pee some days.


You will make it through this. I'm glad to meet you. We are here for you! Fellow IC sufferer, I know your pain! It sucks, but things will get better! Hang in there!

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Hi @ thisisgoingtobeokay! Wow I didn't think I would find anyone on here with both IC and herpes either. Yes I was diagnosed with IC last year right around the time I started being suspicious of herpes. I go to a specialist who is about an hour away. Right now I am treating it with diet - staying away from soda, caffeine, alchohol and receiving the instilations. Tried hormone therapy but that seemed to make my oral outbreaks worse. It's a lose lose situation it seems. Also the IC diet is low in vitamin c which is what helps herpes outbreaks too so I am damned if I do and dammed if I don't.


I am actually taking valtrex for constant oral outbreaks they are so bad. As soon as one heals up- another one starts. My doctor suggested that I go see an infectious disease doctor so that is nexts has anyone experienced non-stop outbreaks and did they ever get better?

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Have you tried Abreva for the oral OB's? I just had my first start yesterday... took 2 acyclovir (I only take them for OB's) and hit it with Abreva and it's going down already and crusting... doubt anyone will even see I have one by looking. It was my first time trying Abreva and I'm pretty impressed. It's overpriced for what the ingredients are (tho the packaging may be a *little* pricey because it has a glass vial in a tube) but hell, if it works, it's worth it ;)


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Canker sores are NOT a form of the Herpes virus... SMH




Odds are this is the cause of your internal canker sores, given your immune system issues....


"A faulty immune system that attacks healthy cells in your mouth instead of pathogens, such as viruses and bacteria?"


Time to fire your doctor.... or at least print all this out (there are several pages...) and take it to him/her.... :/

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Thank you @wcs dancer. I was not able to read all of it until I came home from work. I am curious about if you can get herpes on your tongue. Like little white dots. Have you found any information on that- that's mostly where I break out? During oral outbreaks

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Doubt it's herpes...Sounds more like yeast/thrush overload - also common with immune function issues.


I thought of this after I posted: get some REAL yogurt ... ie, not uber processed...preferably locally produced so it's not been stabilized for long storage and travel .. (this makes all the difference in the world...the acidophilus will be more active...our local one is Ronnybrook Farms) - or make your own... the one I like is actually a yogurt drink.... put some in your mouth and just keep it there for a few minutes.... do that for 3 or 4 mouthfuls several times a day. If it's thrush/imbalance of the bacteria that may well sort it out. I got thrush from antibiotics last year and it cleared it right up.

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