Diagnosed with herpes last week... freaking out

kac002 · March 30, 2014

I was very recently diagnosed. All I can think of is how I cannot possibly tell a significant other and him be okay with it. It will just be a scarlet letter on my name. A bad title comes with this, it seems, no matter the situation. How long is too long to wait to have this conversation (besides before sex)? How do I go about the conversation?

Also, my Dr. Said if I take my medicines every day amd use a condom I can't spread it? Or is the risk just really low? I know there are lots of conversations on here already about all of this, but I don't even know where to start.

WCSDancer2010 · March 31, 2014

@kac002

I'm going to come back and comment more - have to head out to work - but start with these handouts/ebook.

One thing - your life is NOT over and you will get through this...promise...

(((HUGS)))

Handouts:

http://bit.lyh-opp-diagnosis-handout/

http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout

Disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

Sparklepony · April 1, 2014

I've recently been diagnosed and I've decided that I will just let it come up when it needs to and deal with it then. This is what I've figured i would do- If you meet someone new and sex is something that you "feel" will happen then let them know from the get go. Just rip the bandaid off. If you meet someone and it is going slowly and they are more of a friend at first then there isn't a reason to tell them because at that point it won't affect them. No need to disclouse if there is a chance it won't go anywhere. It's not hiding it, it's just not bringing up something that won't come into play.

I knew you're scared now and feel like your life won't ever be the same but eventually you'll just take this as a part of your life and work with it.

WCSDancer2010 · April 1, 2014

OK - I'm back -

I suggest that you read a bunch of success stories that we've had on here so you can see that it's VERY possible to have a loving, passionate, healthy relationship with a H- partner... I'll post a bunch of links below..

If you use anti-virals and condoms, you will take the risk of HSV2 transmission down to about 5% to 1% female-male transmission. If you have HSV1 genital it will be even less than that. Your risk of dying in a car accident in your lifetime is 1%. Or as Unhappy1 put elsewhere:

Look, there were 135 Space Shuttle flights, two of them blew up. That means there was a 1.5% risk of death for going up in the shuttle. No man in the U.S. would ever say no if NASA gave him a seat on the shuttle, I assure you of that! Now if he's willing to take a 1.5% chance of death for a good ride, don't you think he would take a .015% chance of a skin infection for your ride? [Risk of transmission when no outbreak, on Valtrex, and with condoms is about 1.5% per year (which includes sex 2x week for 52 weeks about 100 occurrences).]

The more you learn about H ... what it is, what it isn't, and the reality of living with it.... the easier it will get to disclose.... if you are confident in your knowledge you will find that prospective partners will at least feel that you are keeping their health and interest at heart - and THAT, to a man of integrity, is HOT ;)

Peace

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2445/my-success-story simplyme24

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2495/a-coming-out-story- DanieM

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2544/disclosure silentstandoff

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1644/having-the-herpes-talk-with-a-new-partner Daisy

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2689/first-time-disclosing-herpes-and-very-very-nervous paleogardenerkika

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2789/about-to-have-the-herpes-talk Empowered 74

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2833/this-was-a-first kitcattat

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2892/first-disclosing-talk-with-a-new-guy-so-relieved Figuringthisout

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2879/rekindling-an-old-flame Valkyrie