If only the world viewed H like this article writer! STS...Stop The Stigma :)

[Amillionthings]

Let’s End the Stigma of Herpes

 

APRIL 26, 2006

 

“Jane, you have a herpes infection.” I say the words calmly, almost casually, but not lightly. Because I know what is coming next. The eyes that fill with tears. The sheer devastation as her world crashes down around her…

 

Why do we let this virus do this to us?

 

Herpes is a virus, just like influenza and chicken pox. It doesn’t discriminate. It looks for a mucus membrane to infect, and could care less whose mucus membrane it is.

 

Did you know that the genital herpes virus is the very same virus that causes fever blisters? (There are two tyes of Herpes, Type I and Type II. Type I has historicaly been associated with oral herpes, and Type II with genital infections, but they can each be found in one another’s territory.)

 

When I tell someone they have a fever blister, they barely flinch. So why is it when I tell them they have the very same infection in the genital area, they cry?

 

Maybe it all goes back to the shame we feel about our genitalia. Bardiac tells us that the origin of the word “Pudenda” (Old English for female genitalia, and the name of the nerve that supplies that area) is Latin for “Shame”.

 

Infection of the oral mucosa. Annoyance. Same lesion, same virus, on the genital mucosa. Shame.

 

And blame.

 

When you get a cold, do you pass judgement on the person who gave it to you? Wonder what kind of friends they have or what sort of other women they have dated? Even worse, break up with them?

 

And yet, I’ve seen it more than once or twice – I tell the woman she has herpes, and the guy, who probably was the one who gave it to her, breaks up with her. Well, good riddance, I say. He failed the herpes test, a true measure of a relationship.

 

It’s starting to be more and more ridiculous, this stigma around this virus. Do you know that most newly diagnosed cases of genital herpes these days come from transmission of Type I herpes to the genital area (because no one cares about fever blisters, remember)? So now, we are now feeling shame from getting a virus we got because we didn’t care about it in the first place…

 

If it’s the infection itself that upsets you, let me tell you that there are great drugs that can control the genital (and oral) outbreaks, so that the infection, frankly, is little more than an occasional minor nuisance to almost everyone of my patients who has it. And please be careful about letting Big Pharma tap into your shame to sell you daily medication. Use episodic treatment, along with a little sexual prudence, and you’ll do just fine.

 

Just in case you think I don’t know what you herpes sufferers go through, let me tell you that I’ve had fever blisters my whole life, along with most of my brothers and sisters. We probably all got it from my mom. I feel no more ashamed of myself for having fever blisters than you should for having genital herpes. Not to mention you have an advantage in that you don’t have to worry about herpes ruining your wedding photos.

 

Sure, I have to be careful not to kiss my kids or have sex with my husband when I think I am getting an outbreak. And I know that, despite all my care, they may get the virus from me anyway. But that’s life (and love).

 

Of course, take love out of the picture, and the whole thing changes. Which is why herpes is, as I said before, a good test of a relationship. And if it causes you to only have sex with someone you really care about, and who really cares about you, well, is that such a bad thing?

 

So stop feeling ashamed of yourself, and get out there and find someone to love. And remember, it’s just a fever blister in a different place. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

 

[WCSDancer2010]

Great essay! Where did you get it?

[Amillionthings]

Hey Dancer....i just searched 'herpes stigma'

 

http://www.tbtam.com/2006/04/lets-end-stigma-of-herpes.htmlrched google for 'herpes stigma'

 

Literally its all it needs. To be viewed just like this....with the stats and figures from the h opp handouts.

 

its crazy....all it would take....just to go global. For a week, a month. To have a tag line that sticks like H ....so people can be pulled out of their shame and upset. Wouldn't it be AMAZING!!

 

My slogan is STS....stop the stigma! Sounds like STI, STD..a play on the dreaded 3 letters!

 

Or perhaps Shhhh!TS .....a play on shhh for the silence that continues and secrecy because of shame....?and 'h' for the herpes. Ha....i imagine it on a bill board.

 

A video of lots of different people....ages, genders, sexuality, race, occupations....give a small piece if information about themselves; "im a policeman"..."im 35"..."i am a mom"..."ive been married 26 years" ....."im a millionaire"....and at the end. Boom! "I have herpes"....a slide...1 in 5 of us do.....so what?...Stop the stigma!'...

 

A slogan.....used for herpes and allll the others....might reach and be acknowledged by a wider audience?..i know a number of people who have joked and bragged about having an STD...with no shame...because its curable....its like they got a free pass because they didn't get herpes. Perhaps a campaign to highlight all std's and sti's would hit home and grab more attention? Use the other sti's and std's as a way for herpes to get some attention...to be brought out in the open....rather than just 'herpes'...the word itself will cause a 'urgh' 'hmmm' 'oh no im rumbled!'...i feel it needs to be as accesible as all other sti's / std's.....and then....just maybe....the world will see that actually...its the best of the bunch....it just doesnt have a vaccine yet.

 

I imagine a day where people can say ' i got H....u? Cool...i take meds. Its harmless....just a cold sore. Nothing more, nothing less. Do you remember there used to be so much stigma about it! Crazy! I got lucky gettin H...coulda got a worse one. Can u believe it never even got tested for....so stupid. Its so harmless...anyway you wanna go on a date/ when we hooking up next?'

 

As you can see...ive been thinking about it! Haha. The campaign in my head!

 

 

 

 

[Amillionthings]

Lols...maybe id lose the '!' In ShhhhhTS.....it looks like 'shits' haha! ....on an upside it might get alot of attention that way! Ha

[Amillionthings]

And once theres enough exposure....a dedicated team of h oppers....to travel the globe....and edcate it.....until we take back herpes and 'own it'. No be ashamed or depressed or suicidal or lonely.

 

I like to dream :)

[WCSDancer2010]

@Amillionthings

 

1) First, congratulations! You are sounding sooooo much better today. Thinking like this is helping you to get your power back. Well done!

 

2) There are a LOT of things happening behind the scenes....lots of great things ... I'm not at liberty to say what they all are (as this board is Adrials and I don't know what is public and what isn't) but I promise, a lot of stuff is in the works. And I'm going to copy this thread to add to our "brainstorming" ideas. Lots of good ideas in here ... suffice it to say, we already got a HUGE boost from Adrials participation at Catlyst Con because the participants were Sex Educators and the like. Right now we are trying to grow this at a pace that WE can keep up with...given we have lives outside this and jobs that need attending ... but I really think it won't be long until this reaches a point where it takes off. I've had this over 35 years and this is the most hopeful I've ever been :)

 

3) There ARE campaigns very like the one you talk about for HIV... I'll put a few of the links at the bottom ... calling for "Full Frontal Honesty". They just started them on the LogoTV network. Very powerful... giving facts and showing that everyday people around you have HIV and you wouldn't know who they are without them "coming out" in the ad.

 

4) And you DO know that once YOU personally come out, 99% of the stigma vanishes? I'm living proof. I'm totally out and while I've had one or two glitches (sadly my daughter is one of them but H was just the trigger for the long-simmering upset she's had with me that none of the rest of the family can figure out... ugh...families have the potential to be your toughest people to deal with :p ), I got a HUGE amount of support on FB (I have over 1000 friends thanks to my dance - not ONE ugly comment when I posted my story and my personal campaign. In fact, many said it was overdue for someone to take a stand. And even on the dating sites where I have my profile, I've had some hits from guys who are like "Damn, finally, someone who is honest... I'm a little scared but I want to reach out and get to know you". THAT is HUUUUGE!!!! Even if the date doesn't work out, I get to educate someone so if they have a partner who discloses to them, they know not to run and to learn more. ;)

 

5) I also have a "campaign" in my head ... one where a bunch of the people you mention stand up and say "I'm Positive". ( I mean, really, such a great word with such a twisted double meaning!!! ) followed by each giving a statistic or fact about Herpes.

 

6) I Do have a personal campaign on Facebook about STD's in general. It's called Support Truth and Dialog (STD ;) ). I'd love to have you join us. Its an informational page (I need to start posting again...got sidetracked for awhile) about everything but HIV (which IMO should have it's own sister page run by someone who is dealing with it and knows their own issues and the latest medical info).

 

Here are the Full Frontal Honesty HIV Ad links. I think they are pretty powerful :)

Perhaps we could have an "I'm Postive" Ad like this....

 

I seem to be having trouble getting them to play through... I hope you have better luck than me...but I've seen them on TV

 

Jesse's ad(artist)

http://www.logotv.com/video/misc/1007250/real-men-revealed-jesse.jhtml#id=1722582

 

Jujubee's ad (Drag Queen)

http://www.logotv.com/video/misc/1004938/real-men-revealed-jujubee.jhtml#id=1722582?xrs=synd_facebook_nnn

 

Mike (firefighter)

http://www.logotv.com/video/misc/1007203/real-men-revealed-mike.jhtmlabout-sex-with-jesse.jhtml

 

Raven

http://www.logotv.com/video/misc/1007248/real-men-revealed-raven.jhtml#id=1722582

 

Mason (Architect)

http://www.logotv.com/video/misc/1013978/real-men-revealed-mason.jhtml#id=1722582

 

Lester (rapper)

http://www.logotv.com/video/misc/1015032/real-men-revealed-lester.jhtml#id=1722582

 

Cody (Fraud Investigator)

http://www.logotv.com/video/misc/1015031/real-men-revealed-cody.jhtml#id=1722582

[Amillionthings]

All sounds promising dancer- thanks for all the effort and time u put into it for all of us xx