Terrified to go in for my herpes test results

[SCbelle]

I was seeing a guy back in December. Two days after having unprotected sex I developed what I thought was a yeast infection. A couple of days into it I got what I will assume were blisters which caused excruciating pain when I went to the bathroom. I went to the doctor and she did a culture. Here I am, four months later and I have yet to get up the nerve to go back and actually hear the words confirming my fears. I am, like everyone else in the early stages, completely devastated, embarrassed and unsure of how to go on. Dating seems impossible because I don't know how I would ever have the courage to trust someone with this information. I feel so hopeless.

[WCSDancer2010]

First - Welcome @SCbelle... glad you found us!

 

First thing to do is BREATHE! I promise you, if you have herpes, your life is not over, you CAN find love, you CAN have children, and you CAN get past this. I know, because I've had it since I was 17 (Talk about not fair - got it on my first sexual experience....go ME!). I was married for 20 years, have had 2 H- BF's post divorce and had 2 beautiful girls when I was married.

 

You really need to contact your Dr and get the results. Sitting and agonizing about something you *might* have is like finding a lump and being convinced you have Stage 4 cancer. Once you know your status you can start to work on how you want to go forward. How crazy would it be if you came back negative (that you had a yeast infection or something similar) and you drove yourself nuts all this time?

 

I know you probably can't believe this right now, but Herpes is really not as big a deal as the stigma would have you to believe. Yes, it can be painful at times, but over time you and your body will get better at managing it. Us veterans know it's really just a nuisance skin condition in a really inconvenient place. AND, for many, it ends up acting as a great Wingman...because you will be even more careful about who you become intimate with....

 

I'm posting some links to get you started, so you can see that many people on here are finding love and are plenty happy with their lives. Know that you can come on here and ask questions, rant, and share where you are at... we are here to help you through this!

 

(((HUGS)))

 

http://herpeslife.com/using-herpes-as-your-wing-man/

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2445/my-success-story simplyme24

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2495/a-coming-out-story- DanieM

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2544/disclosure silentstandoff

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1644/having-the-herpes-talk-with-a-new-partner Daisy

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2689/first-time-disclosing-herpes-and-very-very-nervous paleogardenerkika

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2789/about-to-have-the-herpes-talk Empowered 74

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2833/this-was-a-first kitcattat

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2892/first-disclosing-talk-with-a-new-guy-so-relieved Figuringthisout

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2879/rekindling-an-old-flame Valkyrie

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3021/successful-herpes-disclosure Starsinhereyes

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3036/i-had-the-herpes-talk-and-he-said- thisisgoingtobeok

[SCbelle]

Thanks for your response. Reading the different posts here has helped and I have been taking in every bit of information that I can find. And you are 100% right. It is the stigma that makes this so bad. Oddly enough I have lived my entire life with HSV1, with frequents OB's and never thought twice about it. Speaking of which, do you know if contracting HSV2 could stop HSV1 outbreaks? I haven't had a single cold sore since December. I also haven't had any other signs in the HSV2 Department either. You are also right about getting the test results. I am working up to it :(

[WCSDancer2010]

So really my friend, if you were giving oral sex, you could have passed it on unwittingly... like many are today because of the lack of public information. 50% of all new genital cases are HSV1 from oral sex :( So you already have Herpes... you just will need to take precautions with both ends now, as it were. :p

 

Odds are your body just has got a lot better at dealing with the OB's... I have both and they take turns now... I haven't had an oral OB in years and just got my second one in a week yesterday.

 

(((HUGS)))

 

[Sparklepony]

Your feeling are completely normal. Out of site out of mind, right? Ignorance is bliss? Sometimes if you don't know the answer then it's easier to think that your initial thoughts and all the signs pointing to what you're afraid of are wrong.

 

However, sometimes knowing the answer and being able to work through it is extremely liberating too. More so than you can imagine right now. It was for me. Of course I had the normal first few days of shock, anger, sadness. Then I kind of decided that this little plot twist isn't the worst thing to have happened to me in life, nor will it be the end of life as I know it. I feel better in a sense that I now have a clearer head as to who I would trust in my "inner circle", it was a real eye opener. Plus it was the motivation I needed to start taking better care of my body and mind. So while you need to go through the grieving motions, you also need to decide to not let this define you, but to better your life. As crazy as that sounds.

[SCbelle]

@WCS - until recently I didn't fully understand those things. I grew up getting cold sores and never really gave it much thought to be honest. But of course you are exactly right.

 

@Sparklepony - despite not going in for the results I am certain of the condition and am living accordingly. I'm just afraid that getting the results will start the mourning process all over again, lol.

 

I think the hardest part here is definitely going to be knowing who to trust and dealing with the stigma attached. The virus itself isn't the problem it's the perception of the virus that's the kicker!

 

Thank you both so much for your insight. Being able to talk about it and get your input has lightened the weight enormously.

[WCSDancer2010]

@WCS - until recently I didn't fully understand those things. I grew up getting cold sores and never really gave it much thought to be honest. But of course you are exactly right.

 

You and 99% of the population my friend :(

 

Until we get some PSA's out there it will continue.... but I tell people, if each of us even told just ONE person that you know who has Oral Herpes that they need to be careful in the area of oral sex, it would make a difference. Just making them aware that they need to get educated and take precautions would make a HUGE difference over time... ;)

 

@Sparklepony - despite not going in for the results I am certain of the condition and am living accordingly. I'm just afraid that getting the results will start the mourning process all over again, lol.

 

Well, you have been worried all this time and it hasn't gotten better - just rip that bandaid off my friend, get the result, and we will help you to gain your feet if it comes back positive.

 

(((HUGS)))

[SCbelle]

@WCS - I'm going, I'm going :) And I have to say - after everything I have read here the dread is gone. You are amazing and reading your posts has been so helpful and eye opening. Thank you for what you are doing here!!!!!

[WCSDancer2010]

My pleasure... every person who gets on here and really gets that this thing isn't what they thought it was is one more punch at the stigma ... and that makes it all worthwhile ;)

 

BTW, you can always take some of the handouts that Adrial has generously made available on here to your Dr and ask them to give them out to the newly diagnosed ... one way to pay it forward :)

http://bit.ly/h-opp-diagnosis-handout

http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout

[SCbelle]

That is an excellent idea!!!!

[SCbelle]

@WCS there is nothing like a trip to the doctor to leave you more confused!!!! The results from my culture came back negative - which was quite a shock. I asked if I should follow it up with a blood test - to which she replied - no, the culture would have been the most accurate test for presence of the virus. A blood test would simply show that I was exposed - not that I carried it. Hello - am I missing something here? I then asked "if I was exposed wouldn't I then be putting others at risk" and she said no. Needless to say, I am scheduling an apt with my gyn first thing tomorrow because unless I am badly mistaken the antibodies are a sign that the virus is present. HELP!!!!!!

[WCSDancer2010]

Yeah - go to your OBGYN - I tell people all the time to not go to their Family Dr for any gynecological stuff, especially STD's. There's a good chance she didn't do the swab correctly, or there wasn't enough virus for a good "catch". At least by now the blood tests should be accurate enough as it's been 4 months.

 

The presence of antibodies means your body is fighting it off, which is an indicator that you have the herpes in your system. This is the problem - most family Dr's are just waaay out of touch about Herpes and most of the STD's :(

 

And maybe it WAS something else - I'd believe your Gny over the family Dr.... and if you want to be ultra sure, if this test comes back negative, assume you are ok but get retested in 6mo to a year... if you are negative then, you are in the clear.

[SCbelle]

UUUUGGGGGG! What a roller coaster. So much for ripping that Band-Aid off :(.

[WCSDancer2010]

At least you are taking action... you got the band-aid half off ;)

[Sparklepony]

I just want to add that sometimes a yeast infection CAN create blisters and sores, but it is extremely rare. Chances are your doctor just isn't educated on STDs like a gyno would be, like dancer said. By now (you mentioned this started about 4 months ago) you should have enough in your system that it would show up in a blood test.

[SCbelle]

I definitely had a yeast infection and uti at the time of the doctor visit. The meds I took cleared everything up although the spot that was cultured took a little longer to heal. Now I feel like I am starting all over again. It took me four months, this amazing site and a little nudging from WCS to work up the courage to go for the results. As far as I was concerned it was a done deal and I was adjusting.

 

Had I never found this site I would have happily lived with the negative results I was given. But the doctor made statements that were so inaccurate after everything that I have learned here!

 

 

[WCSDancer2010]

Better to know for sure what is going on...

 

And I believe every experience is there to bring a lesson to you ... and one of the lessons is to always go to the Dr whose specialty is the area you are dealing with ... there's too much info out there for Family Dr's to deal with nowadays.. go to them for colds/flu, cuts, and flu shots. That keeps them busy enough without everything else so they don't have time to be on top of the latest info on the 5 basillion other things that can go wrong in our bodies :p

 

 

[SCbelle]

I agree. This has all been a major eye opener and I am glad for all of the information I have gotten. It has also very much changed my outlook on how I will approach involvement from this point forward no matter the next set of results. Lets face it - I already have HSV. The location of it doesn't change what it is!!!! I can't say that I am not seriously hoping for a negative result but at least I know, either way, I am armed to deal with it and have a place to come for support and understanding.

[tomjones]

I haven't been able to go get my herpes results either because I am afraid to learn that it might be HIV. I have all the symptoms of herpes and the ER said it appears to be herpes, but can HIV and herpes symptoms be crossed?? Or am I being paranoid. Google is scaring me, not really the talk of HIV has been mentioned.

[Guest]

You're being paranoid. HIV symptoms do not in any way resemble HSV symptoms. At all. If you had HIV you would have had the worst flu of your entire life within the first two months and then you would have slowly started to deteriorate without antiretroviral drugs. You would have seen large dark bruises all over your skin. Trouble with breathing and persistent fatigue. I mean BAD fatigue. You would know something far beyond H is the issue if you had HIV. I think it's safe to go get your results. Either way, it's better if you know so you can effectively treat the issue. HIV actually has more effective suppressive therapies than HSV does, and with Obamacare most of those drugs are now free to HIV patients.

[tomjones]

Thanks! I know I will never know until I go get tested but just needed something to lower my anxiety.

[whitedaisies]

Best way to lower ur anxiety is to do it!!!

 

I know I am stating the obvious but it's true!!

[WCSDancer2010]

Not only that, but *if* you had HIV (and I agree, I highly doubt from what you say that you do) you want to get on the meds as soon as possible ... because the meds are so effective they can get the HIV viral load to near zero (ie, almost no chance of passing it on) ... which is much better than what we have with Herpes.

 

And I *may* be wrong here but I *think* if you were HIV+, they would actually contact you .....

 

(((HUGS)))

[tomjones]

Hi, who would contact me? The hospital? I didn't get tested for HIV there... But I will get tested next week!

[WCSDancer2010]

Likely the Dr that put put in the request, or their P.A. But I would still follow up because I have heard about people not getting contacted with their (positive) H results ...

 

Bottom line is we all need to take charge of our health ... which means being proactive , getting tested when necessary, and following through on those tests. The sooner you have an answer/diagnosis, the sooner you can take charge of what you need to do about it ;)